566. - Chris Ryan

All right, this episode of How Long Gone is brought to you by Stateside with Kai and Carter, a new podcast from The Guardian. And they are using this podcast to slow down the news and wrestle with the questions that we all have about what's happening in the world. And they do it three times a week, Jason. Does that sound familiar to you? We don't really talk about, you know, a lot of international global news items and climates and cultures and sports and things like that. We do talk about fashion and wellness, but for everything else, Kai and Carter are a great place. All right, so who couldn't use more news? Listen wherever you get your podcast. or watch on YouTube. How Long Gone is here? It is Thursday. You're listening Friday. I hope you're having a bomb-ass Friday. Chris, what's up with you, bro? I'm kind of feeling it, TJ, to be honest. I've had a lot of stuff happen. Did you run out of microdose? No, no, no. My microdose is, don't worry, it's still fine. That's not a problem. No, it's just, you know, my street is a fucking mess because they're trimming the trees. So it's just a shit show out here. Guys everywhere, no parking available. But yeah, and then last episode, while we were recording, my vehicle got towed. I haven't been towed since I was probably 20 years old. But I had parked in a red zone, which is something I tend to do because there's a great spot right in front of the house that usually I'm rarely ticketed for that. You went that long, parking potentially hundreds of times in a red zone in West Hollywood, a notoriously parking attendant, friendly zone. It ain't city of industry. They respected my genius for years, it seems like, and kept me off the shit list. But this time there was an added bonus because of my kind of lack of concentration and being spread too thin. I did forget to pay my registration.

For maybe a full year. So I was rocking the 2020. No comment. I was rocking the 2022 sticker. Yeah. They love when that happens. They picked me up for that. So while we were recording this happens, I then go drive to the DMV directly after in the other car. I drive to the DMV and sit in line for 20 minutes. They call my number. I explain what happened. They ask for my VIN number and license plate. I pay them $1,500. It covers all my fees. It updates the registration until 2024. So then I think I'm in the clear. And as I'm leaving the DMV parking lot, I notice that the other car has a flat tire. So I pull in to the local European... garage that we take the car to for service. He's like, oh, you're good. Let me fill it up for you. He helps me out. I give him a 20. I go back to the house. I park that car. I get in an Uber, and I go to the impound yard that is weirdly next to HiMat of all places. That's convenient. I get to the impound yard, and you can imagine how friendly they are. They buzz you in. You get buzzed in like you're literally going to visit a prisoner in jail. Yeah, that's right. And I get to the window, and I'm like, hey, I just need to pick up my car. Here's my registration. They're like, oh, we can't help you. You don't have your release ticket. And I'm like, what? No one told me about a release ticket. What is that? They're like, oh, you have to go down to Wilshire. get this release ticket, bring that back, and then we can charge you $350 to get the car back. So I have to Uber to this office building on Wilshire, wait in another line, get this ticket, then go back to the impound yard, pay $350, and then I was able to leave with my automobile. Jesus. I feel bad for you. I'm sympathizing. But it is refreshing to see Chris Black do

them jeans stuff i will say well you know you know what it was i was talking about it yesterday uh i went to meet tim and at community goods and i was talking about this and it's like when this this kind of stuff would happen to you when you were like 20 and you had no money it was like a real problem like i i can remember having to be like what the fuck like i don't have 300 to do this so the fact yeah like your car gets towed and you're like well Just keep it. It's yours now. Every day it goes, it's another $300 and you're compounded and you're like, this is my new life. I guess I'll be homeless. I was literally, I remember being like, this Honda Civic has a hole in the door and it doesn't, it might not be worth it. I might save money if I just leave it here. I'm going to donate it to NPR. The silver lining, it's a nice tax break. The silver lining was that, you know what? The financial part sucks, but at least I can afford it, and it doesn't break me, and I'm lucky to be in that position. She said it's a gratitude exercise. Namastizzle. Good for you, Chris. I turned it into a gratitude exercise, and I know that might be surprising for you, but that's called growth. Well, I would say that an exercise like that and a lesson like this, learning it, it's priceless. But in this instance, you can put a price on it. It's about $1,500, right? Yes. Yeah, it's a priceless $1,850 lesson. It's a price of a modestly loaded MacBook Air. We're not talking about the new M3 matte black. This is sort of a straight down the line, eight gigs of RAM. Still a useful machine. Yeah, so it's fine. It wasn't great because I've been very busy and it really fucked. I was like... on calls in the back of Uber. It was just not great, but we're back, baby. Your life was a depressing movie, and congrats on having your registration tags up to date like an adult. Thank you. I don't think it's... It has nothing to do with your lack of responsibility. I'm going to say it's because you're just so used to being a New York City kind of guy where these types of things...

You know, if you have to deal with it for a long time, you just kind of forget. No, honestly, it feels like that. That muscle, that reflex is gone. Yeah, I haven't done that in, I mean, yeah. It feels like I was like 20 years old. It was the feeling I was having physically. But we're back. We're live. We're getting ready for our show on Saturday. We have a big night out tonight. I have a big night out tomorrow night. The fun doesn't stop. The writer's strike is over. The writer's strike is over. We're all celebrating. Thank God all these cartoons with bad jokes can come back on the air. Stir Crazy will be slammed tonight and tomorrow. All the local eateries that have been suffering. Speaking of local eateries, we should talk about what I did last night. I drove 35 minutes in traffic to the beautiful neighborhood of Los Feliz. to dine at a restaurant I've heard a lot about but never really been to called All Time with friend of the show Ryan O'Connell. Yes, yes, yes, yes. He loves it there. And I have to say the crowd and staff was very attractive, like maybe the most attractive I've seen in L.A. in a very long time in like a nice way, not in like a Beverly Hills way, in like a real way. Annie Hamilton was there. Annie Hamilton was there. It was a selling point. But I have to say, I was skeptical, and I don't know why I'm skeptical of this restaurant. It just feels like a place that I don't know. I just didn't go there. No one I know really goes there, or I don't hear about it that often. To me, it always seems like just a place where rich families pick up their to-go food kind of thing. It was bumping. Bumping. But it was good. It was good. There was a great burrata. The salad, the big salad that they're famous for was delicious. Ryan had a steak. What's up with the big salad? It's just a giant salad with a nice lemony dressing. It's got a nice lemony dressing, some seeds. I didn't read closely. Obviously, it's dimly lit. With your mouth, was there anything beyond standard lettuces and vinaigrette that...

makes this a $40 salad beyond its size and volume? To be fair, it's not $40. It's like $23, which at that point is not that crazy. That's not really that crazy. I mean, maybe it changes seasonally. That's a Caesar at Craig's. Yeah. Well, the real problem was that it had some sort of fruit in it that I didn't notice, like thinly sliced apple maybe or pear probably. Persimmons are in season, not to be that bitch. You know I hate that. You know, I hate that. So I was a little upset with that. But overall, the desserts were fucking amazing. Get your fruits out of my salad. It was quite good. And I don't know if I'll be heading back over there because it's such a haul, but it was good. And I was impressed by the looks of the crowd, which, you know, that's all I'm kind of really there for. And they have their beer and wine. They don't have a full bar, right? Yeah. Or do they not have alcohol at all? No, no, they have wine. They do not. I don't think they do have a full bar. That's a good point. You know, but these like. Rich list. Many places don't. Families with the Volvo station wagons. All they want is natty. They're not ready for the hard stuff. I'm not expecting it to. They're not ready for the hard stuff. But yeah, we should go check it out. It's honestly, it was good. I'll go back with you. I want to hear your opinion on it. Can somebody else pay? That's the thing also. I feel like people said it was really expensive. It's not that expensive. Yeah, I guess everyone I know who's talked about it, it's a little pricey, but they're like, what'd you get? And you're like, Well, we got the whole halibut for seven, and you're like, okay, well, you know, that's going to be a high ticket item. The portions are very American, I have to say. I was stunned by the size of the portions. Okay. Plentiful. Okay, then. Also, we recorded an episode that's going to come out on Monday instead of our one-on-one pause because we did too many one-on-ones in Australia, but we have friend of the show, star of stage and screen, Nathan Lane, coming up. So that'll be a nice little treat. He's very funny. A lot of people are hitting me up about the Mountain Goats episode. They're like, what the fuck was that? Carolyn listened to it. She's like, this guy, I don't like anything that he's talking about, but I like listening to him talk about it. That's the magic of being a professional broadcaster, even if it's by accident.

I totally agree. Like, he's so fun to talk to and so fun to listen to. I'm never going to play Magic the Gathering, and I'm probably never going to go to Durham, North Carolina. But that's okay. You know what I mean? That's what we do this for is we want to introduce, you know what I mean, maybe a different flavor into the profile if we can. Yeah. I mean, I guess we'll be doing that today with our guest as well. Yeah, he's from our enemy, The Ringer. So this is kind of a battle royal. with The Ringer. No, he's an OG. He's also a professional broadcaster, actually. And he goes back with friend of the show, David Cho, an OG blogger. He said he's a music head. Yes. He's a Philly guy. But it is sort of, I feel like whenever we talk to people from The Ringer, I guess our guests today, especially, it is the same formula. that we have it's you know two dudes talking about something kind of at length and you know you have a little diversion and you go off on a tangent about something else randomly but but the things that we're talking about are like regional krishna hardcore bands and like you know yeah a salad at a restaurant that no one's ever been to yes and they're they're talking about like professional football and the marvel universe yeah so and the difference it's it's much more palatable to the average person that difference is stark which makes me feel like i'm leaving some money on the table you know wait that's what i was gonna say that difference is stark but it seems to be working out for them financially yeah exactly it just makes me wonder I guess we should double down on our Travis Kelsey chatter. Is that going to help us get into the Zeitgeist? I don't think so. I think we're not the guys for that job, and that's okay, and that's why the Ringer is able to exist and dominate in such a way. But they talk about everything over there. I'm allowed to say wife beater and they're not, so that's a tradeoff. There's definitely a little more rules over there. I would have to guess. I'm curious to ask them about that. I wanted to talk about something that actually just got sent.

to our chat but i saw this morning about uh bad baby um posted her only fans deposits her the money she's earned from only fans sure and i just it is obviously it's a it's a kind of um declining number over time uh because it's subscription based but april 2021 viral sensation bad baby pulled in 18 million dollars from only fans In one month, $18 million. The following month, six. The following month, four. Three, two, one. So we're looking at $30 million in one year. And from what I understand, she doesn't even show. She's not even nude on the OnlyFans. Suggestive photos. It's suggestive photos, which makes me think that Bad Baby is a more brilliant businessman than Bill Simmons. Business person. Yeah, I guess it's cool and it's disheartening and cool and exciting and interesting that Bad Baby made more money than most people in 2021. Most people? She made more money than most rich people. It's a fucked up fact. More money than most professional athletes, movie stars, directors, producers. She's definitely pulling in more than Emma Roberts from American Horror Story. This is good bread. This is fucking good bread. 30 mil is good bread. It's crazy. This, to me, is the north star of the creator economy. post suggestive photos on a subscription service and earn $30 million. That's a country I want to live in. You know what I mean? That's good. That makes me feel good that this is possible. I think – well, I don't know much about this. I know that – I know who – she's like a – she was like a child rapper and turned into like a hoe. No, she was – no, she was famous. She was famous for saying catch me – catch me outside on Dr. Finn. Oh, okay, okay, okay. It's even crazier. It's even crazier. She's a famous provocateur. Yes, but – I'm trying to figure out what it is that –

why like there's a reason why she made so much money and i think that the non-nudity thing plays more of a part of it than uh than first glance maybe like is it some sort of like long tail tease going on that maybe eventually one day yeah we'll see this is it like because it reminds me of when um In a simpler, much more toxic time when the Olsen twins, you could go to a website that had a countdown to the day that they turned 18. It's similar to that, for sure. There's a little bit of that flavor going on where people have, I guess, enjoyed looking at this Catch Me Outside person. And then now that they are old enough to be an adult and have their own OnlyFans, that adds some weird... thing to it yeah yeah yeah you're saying that guys are like damn i watched you grow up and now i want to see your titties is weird yeah it's a little weird well um but but at least i think the fact that she's not showing nudity just suggestive she's not showing hog that sort of plays into you know the weird it's it's brilliant the whole thing is brilliant and i'm i'm I love that it exists. Jason, I can't wait to talk to our guest, Chris Ryan, about Bad Baby. But yeah, you know Chris from The Ringer, from Spin Magazine, from all the countless podcasts and stories he's written over the years. So let's go tangle with a fellow podcast professional. Okay. My brother's very excited about this. That makes sense. As a Ringer slut. I'm a Ringer slut. This episode of How Long Gone is brought to you by Squarespace. Obviously, Jason, you and I spend a lot of time on the World Wide Web, so do our peers, our listeners, our friends, our colleagues, maybe even your parents if they're freaky. And if you're doing anything in the world... writing, taking pictures. I do topless boxing. You need a website. Exactly. A website that works, that does what it's supposed to do, that allows you to be creative but also business-minded. Jason, there's one place to go for that, Squarespace. Yeah, Chris, I'm over here. I'm modifying calculators and putting Claude inside of them so you could cheat at school. And I just want a place where I could have everything all in one place. I can have the SEO tools.

So those future graduates can find me and, you know, I'm able to accept, quote unquote, donations for my services that might be gray area. You know what I mean? And then email campaigns. Hey, I got a new, you know, 2.3 version upgrade. Boom, boom, boom. Get the analytics going. Raise some money. You know, show your investor all of your cool analytics of what's going on. They're going to want to get in early and we can use Blueprint AI to make your website look as professional. as your competition, if not more. So head to squarespace.com slash howlong for a free trial. When you're ready to launch, use offer code howlong to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or a domain. This episode of How Long Gone is brought to you by a new podcast from The Guardian stateside with Kai and Carter. This is covering a lot of our bases, Jason. It's trying to slow down. The news and wrestle with the questions we all have about what's happening in the world. And I know you particularly have quite a lot of questions. A lot of questions. But how often? Because we do this podcast three times a week and that's a sweet spot. How many times do they do? Three times a week. And I have a feeling just based on the platform and these talking points that they're maybe going to be covering different stuff than we do. That's just a guess. The Guardian is not some billionaire owned. They're not afraid to say what they want to say, brother. Yeah, Rupert ain't sniffing around in what journalists Kai Wright and Carter Sherman are up to over there at Stateside. But yeah, listen wherever you get your podcasts. You can watch it on YouTube. It's three times a week. And who couldn't use more news? Especially when it's not from here, let's say. Give it a listen. Give it a listen. Chris, thank you for joining us on How Long Gone. Are you coming to us from a home studio? Are you at Ringer World Headquarters? I can't tell. This is Daniel X Home Studio. I'm coming to you from inside of Spotify's Pod City. like studios. Do you guys call it Spotify Pod City or is that a name you've given it? We use that name entirely. It's the official designation. No, this is just like a studio that we have here at the Spotify offices. Okay. Yeah, this looks nice. Jason, they got the good chair. They got the Aeron chairs. We're not really, we're not kind of, we're not doing numbers like that. Were those Aerons purchased new or used on Facebook Marketplace? Can you confirm that? I can't, I don't know how the Swedes get down when it comes to office furniture, but they're

comfortable enough yeah i'm gonna guess that jason i'm gonna guess those were bought in bulk new is my guess and and that's just i'm going out on a limb but that's where i would say that's what i would say that's cool that's cool i'm more sustainable but whatever you guys want to do especially with plastics but you know that's a whole other pod so you got your downtown in the arts district is that true i am right next to the girl and the goat um okay or you're saying that like we should know it I feel like when I've listened to the podcast, you feel like you guys do the run of the L.A. restaurant circuit. Yes, but I try not to go downtown as much as possible. But The Girl and the Goat, is that a Chicago restaurant? Yeah, it's the Top Chef woman. I've been to the one in Chicago. It's actually good. So I apologize for any of that disparagement. You have to go to the arts district every day? Like three times a week, pretty much. We're still kind of in transition phase between COVID work from home and coming back to the office. Nobody has to come in, but we do go in to do recordings. So you guys don't do this together? No. Rarely. When it's one-on-one, we do. But with guests, we've literally never done it with a guest in person. It's asking too much of people. Is what we always say. To come by? If you have to put on hair and makeup and drive or get in an Uber to come do it, it's a whole different ask than, like, you can do this anywhere in the world. Also, it's impossible for me to edit when we're all in the same room with our vocals bleeding over onto each other's microphones and stuff like that. Oh, yeah. But that's just me because I have an autistic editing style where it's got to be like, you know. But, yeah, so thank you for doing this pod. I think it was funny. We had a story. it was like a month and a half ago or something like that when when we made this happen and i was like oh yeah chris we got to get this guy in the pod and then like a week later or like a week ago i was like chris ryan who's chris ryan why do we book chris ryan and chris black was like you booked him

This was, you told me to book him. Yeah, I could feel a little bit of like, whose idea was this on the email chain? Well, because I'm usually in charge of the booking and Jason's response nine times out of 10 is, who is this? Why are we doing this? So it was just a nice, it was just a nice, it felt good for me to be in the right for once. You know, it was all it really, that's all it really, that's all it really was. But whatever it was, Chris, you had, I mean, I was like, we got to get this guy on, but mainly because What you do and what you do on your pods, I was talking about this in the intro, it's sort of like very similar to what Chris and I do, but just in parallel universes where, like you said, we're talking about regional specific restaurants and complaining about valet and stuff like that. And you guys are doing a bros talking pod, but about the NFL and the Marvel Cinematic Universe, like these very large, easily digestible things that people love across the world. I mean, like, it's definitely evolved into more of, like, bros talking, I think. The longer we've done it, the more we've kind of loosened up the reins a little bit. Okay. Before, I think we used to be a little bit more programmatic about it. you know like what was their show on sunday night we should talk about it on monday morning and now i think we're like a little bit looser are you doing that because that's what you want to do or what has it what that is like organically morphed into or what the crowd responds to so for the tv stuff in particular you know when we first started doing the watch which is the tv pod i do with with with andy it came out of the fact that like sunday nights on hbo is when people watch tv they watch game of thrones or they watch girls or they watch veep or whatever and that was just like it It's just kind of like the demand was there to have a discussion on the Monday after. Because if you went into an office on Monday, a lot of people were like, yo, did you watch Game of Thrones last night? Or did you see what happened on Girls last night? And now it's like, well, there's...

TV is not on at a specific time at all. Nobody really watches the same thing at the same time anyway, so we have to have a little bit more of a loose field of conversation. How does it feel, though, now that... Because I feel like you guys were doing this so long ago, and it's such a high level, and it's different, but the fact that TV is all anyone talks about now, does it feel... You know what I mean? Does it feel like people are coming for you, or is it better for you? This is everybody now. Does it feel like when everyone started DJing 10 years ago? I was like, you didn't put in the work. You weren't in the trenches with me, bitch. Who's your Pauly D, Chris? That's what we're asking. It's not even that as much as it's like everything has gotten so specific and niche. So you have like... for any show there is like a specialty podcast that's like yeah we know you like this and we like it as much as you like it so let's get into the weeds with it and i still i think andy and i still for like 50 of the stuff we watch we're like that wasn't that good probably stopped doing that you know and we'll we'll just get like one or two episodes into something and drop it which is a little bit of a change of pace for us the funny thing about tv though also is that like i don't know i'm trying to think of a good comparison but like you could go to a party if i went to parties still i guess but if you if you go to a party and everybody's talking about tv the five people over there are talking about yellowstone in like as if that's the only show on tv and then five people over on the other side of the room would be talking about a show and have never fucking seen Yellowstone in my life. Bro, have you seen Search Party? There's the Selling Sunset Bravo corner. There's the Yellowstone corner. And there's so much of it that you get serviced by. You can just have your life where it's just like, I just watch Bravo, man. I don't know anything about Taylor Sheridan. That's right. I don't know anything. Chris, that's me. Thank you for seeing me. Well, I have become... Yellowstone Pilled, because all of it is available on Delta. Yes. And so I did just watch [redacted address] back from Australia. So I basically kind of got off the plane and felt like I'd gotten off a horse. You know what I mean? The way I was moving. Wah, wah, wah. Wait, Chris, could you tell our listeners how you know? Because when I'm watching Netflix or Hulu, it'll pick up and save the last episode that you were watching.

sequential order how do you remember which episode to watch of yellowstone so this is something that i i guess according to jason i've pioneered but when i'm on the plane when the plane lands and i have to turn off yellowstone i take a picture of the screen where it's visible the season the show and then the time that i left off because i don't you know those systems are shitty i can't it's scrolling you can't you're not scrubbing through on the plane you know what i mean so you don't just remember it by like oh yeah this is the one where beth got fucked up and like tried to like have sex oh slow down slow down first of all there's beth getting fucked up and trying to that's every show that's every episode no i don't have a great um i'm not great memory wise and i think also though it's it's like the way when i get in the car in la no matter where i'm going I know how many times I've been there. I put the address in my GPS. It's a very similar thing. We've been trained that when we turn the TV on, it's going to be where we left it. So if it's not, I just, my brain scrambles. The weird thing is I only do that in LA though. Like in LA, I'm like, cause I'm like, also, I'm always curious about like, if there's an optimal way to get to fucking Larchmont, but like, it's not like when I'm in Philadelphia. i don't ever think about like how i'm getting somewhere it's just like oh there's a trash truck that broke down on the street so i gotta go to the next one you know like is it because it's only los angeles if you live in philly you're you're sort of made fun of as a you're called a pussy if you rely on gps over there in philly compared to los angeles i think that's probably part of it is that some dude might carjack me for looking at ways but i'm also like i think Because I grew up in Philly. Like, don't you have this with where you grew up where it's like. Yeah, you know it. The way you know your hometown is you can't ever, like, duplicate that in your life. Like, I lived in New York for 10 years. I would still get, like, turned around sometimes. I can't get turned around in Philly. That's funny that you say that because my parents moved. Like, they live in a different. They've lived there for a long time, but they've lived in a different place than, like, where I grew up. So I don't have that experience. I, like.

It was like that, and now they moved. I had to start over. Can you talk to better help about that, Chris? I need to talk to better help about it. I know. But it feels like home. It could affect your trauma. Yeah, it's affecting my trauma. Whenever I'm back home in Orange County in Huntington Beach and I'm cruising around, I'll take the Waze. I'll put it face down on the console and say I got this because I think there's a part of me where if I don't got this, then maybe my faculties are like I need to sort of prove to myself. in my advanced age that i still know what street comes after that street and where to turn and if i don't then i almost i might as well end it all you know using gps in la after an experience i had a couple months ago i went to go see a soccer match at sofi and it my first it was my first time going to sofi it was like that hell on earth we can talk about it go ahead please sees beckham once by the way go ahead and i I fucking lost my mind because it was an hour and a half door to door, but then 40 minutes parking and walking to the stadium because of where they had to park at the forum. And every fucking turn was make a left and now get across two lanes of nonstop traffic to make another like catty corner right. And I was like, so I just could have been on Western this whole time. But this is probably the California schedule. These are classic Waze problems where it's like, yeah, I'll just drive through Melrose at 6 p.m. Okay, Waze. I don't use Waze for this reason. I like it, though. I'm a little more challenge accepted. Are you that much of a – because this happened to me when we went to see The Weeknd. I had a similar experience, and I was like, I don't think I'm ever going to come here again. I think I'm all set. I saw it. It's a crazy building. Show is good. But the nightmare of getting in and out of there is just any event really is not worth it. I can't imagine the event would have to be for me to go back. It would have to be like Bruce Springsteen taking requests from me. It would be like, oh, you want to hear Nebraska? Let's go, brother. Chris, anything for you? No, that's a good.

Okay, I might be with you on that. Maybe not Bruce, but I like that example. I like anything. I think there's like a specific age that you hit where you're just like, eh. Like whatever it is going to be, unless it is Bruce taking requests from you personally, whatever it is, it is not worth it at a certain age. Yeah. Especially if you're already married or in a relationship. You're not chasing poon anymore. It's sort of like, what's the point, you know? Chasing poon at my Bruce Springsteen concert. That's right. Yeah, there's not much poon. Well, there's some geriatric poon probably. Older the berry, sweeter the juice. Speaking of hanging up the poon chasing hat, Chris and I podcast a pretty good amount, three episodes a week. I spend many hours making podcasts, and I think about how that affects my brain. uh my relationships and things like that like do you ever feel like when you're talking to your friends or family or loved ones that you're sort of throwing money down the toilet if it's not being recorded like i'm burning some material right now so i get the i i'm lucky to to podcast with a bunch of my friends so there is like that kind of way i mean i don't know how you guys feel like where you're like in a you're at dinner do you feel like it's also the podcast or do you feel like it's markedly different i guess you could probably be more candid or something like that with each other right pretty candid maybe too i mean yeah there's definitely obviously there's shit you can and can't say that's just the bottom line and the rhythms of the conversation probably change i will find i do find that like because i feel like because i have to be probably so inappropriately plugged into like whatever beat i'm covering whether it's like basketball or television or whatever if you're not talking about then you're watching games and you're watching tv shows so it really is all encompassing of your life so when i like go back to see my mom who's in her early 80s and she like did you see that there's this there's a show about the british royal family i fucking know i know i know all about it i've done it all yeah like so like i i think i have a much shorter

patience for people who are just discovering things. It really sucks. I'm 100% with you on that. People try to send me memes. I'm like, bro, anything you're going to send me, I've already seen or it's not funny. That's why I haven't seen it. I saw this meme in early August. The tabby swiper, I've seen it, etc. You're able to separate, pod, personality and regular personality or or is has it gotten harder yeah i don't i don't know how much of like performance i actually wind up doing anymore because it's now i'm a volume shooter more than anything so if i'm doing like four pods a week there's not a ton of like off mic time or if there is it's like okay it's not that much different you know yeah yeah because some some you know like i guess i'm i'm speaking personally because like my my wife and i will hang out and spend a lot of time together and i i catch myself like running bits or running material by her instead of being more present and i feel kind of bad i mean i don't feel like it's bad for the relationship but does she call you out on it she does sometimes well not really no she doesn't actually what she does more is she tries to like run run bits with me oh and and which is kind of interesting but then it's kind of like this is kind of my thing babe so look i get it you're funny i my entire life is a bit And I don't think that... I don't want it to be separated. Like, I don't, like... Because then you would have the crushing realization of what that means if your entire life is a bit, if you had to be, like, taken away from it. Yeah, like, who cares? Like, what would being more present do for you, Jason? Nothing. Like, it doesn't matter. Like, that's something people say that I don't think anyone knows what it actually means. Are you saying that because I couldn't get any more present? Yeah, that's what I, yes, exactly. You're levitating at a presence level that I don't, I've never seen. Is there such a thing as too present? I just don't think that, I just think.

that if you we talk about this a lot but i think if you like your job and you like what you do then it doesn't it really does feel like it's just that's life it doesn't need to be like these like kind of distinct boundaries in the same way what were the last jobs that you guys had that was like you had a separation of work and person like your personal life like that where you're like i go to this thing and i do it all day and then i come home and then like i'm a different guy when i go out and when i worked when i worked as an intake guy to dry cleaners when i was 16 i'm not exaggerating i'm not i would tag shirts And I would leave. That was it. I would steal $20 every day, do some skateboarding in the back. But that honestly was the last job I ever had that felt like work. Yeah, I mean, probably the same when I was like 16 and I worked at Sears in the paint department. And I would have to show up and do inventory every Sunday morning. I'd have to get there at like 6 a.m. and move gallons of paint. from an all from a warehouse to the floor and make it look pretty and that was no i mean but then i got into graffiti so then i started um removing certain cans of paint and putting it in other places which was beneficial and then i went and worked in the computer department at sears and i'd have five Gateway 2000s on Napster. Oh, yeah. Slowly downloading, you know, hip-hop, you know, dilated people's MP3s. Yeah. And it would take, you know, seven hours to get one shitty MP3. The complete DJ premiere production discography. Yeah, yeah. I need it all. I need it all. A couple TVs for that. All of these things. All of these things. I had... Bjork's greatest hits, all that shit. I was thinking about this the other day because I worked pretty much retail. Oh, did you? In record stores from high school until my early mid-20s. And while working in record stores allowed me to be close to music, which was really the only thing I cared about. Music is life. The one thing I miss is it being like, and your shift is over. Now your shift's over.

yeah yeah yeah i miss a the release of being like yo it's like let's go out the ship like we're done here today and b because it was like pre-internet and everything i miss the like work is done now Totally. And now you can just go do whatever you want to do. You can go listen to Elliot Smith at home on your own time, not in the office anymore. That's great. That's a nice separation. I think a lot of people do things, especially when you work from home, let alone having an office job that you enjoy. But I think you have to separate and create a lot of things. As soon as this happens, I take a bath, I smoke my doobie, I change into my other clothes. Those sort of things you have to do yourself. to create that differentiation i guess i mean it's it's like but like i know you do have to find the the way to separate batman from bruce wayne on your own i i'm in batman mode all the time um so i but it's going to catch up with me like it's i mean it has caught i was we were joking but like my car got towed because i've just been fucking like I didn't pay the registration because there's just too much going on. I forgot about it. You know what I mean? Shit like that. It feels like I'm losing my faculty, as Jason said. But I don't know if disconnecting at 9 p.m. is going to fix that. I think that's a fallacy a little bit. Well, I guess you'll never know until you try. I think the question for you, and maybe Chris Ryan can answer this, does Chris Black need a manager or an assistant more? Oh, this is huge for me personally. This episode of How I'm Gone, It was brought to you by TaskRabbit. Oh, baby, let me tell you something. This is not a joke. I use TaskRabbit a lot because I can't do anything. You need some art hung? TaskRabbit. You need a fucking something put together, a cabinet? Got to reach that cheese grater on the top shelf? TaskRabbit. Anything you need, TaskRabbit can take care of it for you. And, I mean, how it works, TaskRabbit connects you with skilled taskers in your area. They can help you move. They can assemble furniture.

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That is Q-U-I-N-C-E dot com slash how long. That'll get you free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince punto com slash how long. I think an assistant. Do you think you really want somebody telling you what the right move is for you? Or you want somebody to be like, how can I help you? I tell people what the right move is. Yeah, so you just need somebody to be like, hey, man, pay your registration. Or give me your card so I can pay your registration. Yeah, if you know any really bright USC, UCLA undergrads that are looking for some experience in the entertainment and fashion fields, go ahead and send them my way. Mails only. You know what I mean? It's better that way. Are you asking me specifically, or is this a broad shout-out to your listeners? No, you specifically, because I feel like you would maybe know someone. The people who listen to this podcast don't want to help me at all. I'm sure a lot of bright young minds. Try to intern at The Ringer and Spotify. There's a couple duds that didn't make the cut. Hey, you guys, it didn't really work out for us, but I have a great idea. There's this guy over in West Hollywood. He needs some help with buying bottled water and paying his registration. Good news, bad news. It's easy. It's an easy gig, and you get to listen to him talk to his friend from time to time. There's a lot to gleam from that. It looks great on a resume. Yeah, it looks really great on a resume. You ever been to San Vicente Bungalas? That's about to change. He won't get you in there, but he can put you in a solo warehouse. There's a consolation prize. Okay, so you mentioned Larchmont. Yeah. Where do you live in Los Angeles? Los Feliz. If you don't mind doxing. Yeah, Los Feliz. Los Feliz. Okay, Chris just ate at All Time last night. What say you? What do I say about All Time, or what does Chris say about All Time? What do you say? I like All Time. I think I've lived in my neighborhood too long. This is the house that I rented when I first moved to Los Angeles in 2012. I found it through corporate relocation housing for ESPN when I was working at Grantland, and we just never left.

and i really love the neighborhood but it's one of those things where like the stuff in my neighborhood just gets old so fast to me because i just my wife and i like we go out a lot so we just like we kill restaurants so fast but i do like i do like all time so you burn through restaurants like a tv show perhaps yeah but it's like do you guys have that where like you'll just like if you get focused on a restaurant you just hammer it until you're like you know what this tastes like shit i'm not doing this i don't i don't do that with restaurants i do it with with like foods yeah you know what i mean like i'm in a backyard bowls phase right now where i go every single day i'm going to eventually be like i never want to see this shit i'm sorry i i'm i'm in now i'm in like a mutually assured destruction relationship with harvest bowls and sweet green i i can i i'll just be honest let me tell you what sometimes i've done here let it spread so if i have a recording at like 9 30 in the morning here i'll come in to the office like a [redacted address] down sunset And if the next thing I have to do is until like three, still at the office, I will drive back to fucking Silver Lake to go get sweet greens and eat it at my house like an English school child and then drive back down Sunset to the office. I've done it like three times in the last month. I'm seriously losing my mind. That's concerning. I'm going to be honest with you. That's concerning. And this is coming from a sweet green family. We're pro-SC. Is there not one local? There's not one downtown? There's one downtown, but it's easier for me to just drive back to my sweet green than it is for me to find a place to double park on Hill Street over here. So the silver, sweet green, great parking lot in the back, tons of room every time, and then that's close to your house? Yeah, but you know what? Dudes are now starting to camp out in that. I don't mean unhoused. I mean Uber drivers. I don't mean unhoused. I mean Uber drivers. I actually don't know what community is hanging out in this sweet green parking lot. Really? But everybody is just smoking parliaments and just long-term parking in there.

like guys are really having smoking parliament and long time parking is really funny interesting yeah and sg has not made a statement on it you know what i mean i keep waiting for like maybe like a we are aware that that you know our parking lot has become like a community meeting space i don't know i think uh it's getting increasingly difficult we can go down there in neighborhood watch them That's right. You guys, we've got to take this shit into our own hands. You know the police aren't doing anything. We should get Curtis Silla to come through, Guardian Angel style. Yes, we could do it. Yeah, that'd be a great idea. Bring that over to L.A. It'd go over very well. Thank you for the organic sweet green mentioned. Just share your sweet green cashew account with us at the end of the show, and we'll make sure to give you a little love, okay? You'll top me off. I'll top you off. Have you tried the new protein plates? This is a real question. Okay. I have, actually. Do you ever go to Sweetgreen for dinner? Do you ever go by there for a quick dinner? Oh, yeah, all the time. Sure. There's something about it that makes me feel a little bit sad. Yeah, going to a very busy lunch restaurant at dinner when there's barely anyone in there is depressing. Yes. Any fast casual restaurant for dinner is kind of true. Yeah, that's true. Even what's their other competition? That kind of has a little more of a cafeteria style. Mixed? No, no, no. I think Jason's talking about my beloved Dig. Okay. No, it was a secret third thing. But that's only in New York, not Dig? What is it? No, it's like they used to have one right by the Arclight. There's one in Glendale by me, and it's like a cafeteria style, and I would always get like a seared. tuna like mashed potatoes and not veggie grill right not veggie grill god oh um tender greens tender greens even the tender greens at dinner with a two top is is kind of dark even if you get a little white wine it's a little dark and then you always at that point just get taken home you run the risk of like uh the cashier or the attendant like kind of recognizing you from lunch and be like oh hey oh that's dark not from spotify video but from lunch yeah

This feels like something has happened to you, and that's why you're bringing it up. I'll put my hood up and put sunglasses on like I'm fucking Chalamet trying to duck the paparazzi, but it's really just because I'm getting miso salmon after six. You're like, oh, God, Sheila's working a double. I didn't see this one coming. I can't handle this. My ego can't handle this. Chris, are you a protein kind of guy? Are you conscious of how much nutrition you're putting in your body, or are you more of a just kind of sustenance, keep it going guy? relatively conscious but it's it's not it's not something i sweat too much like i uh my wife has been back in new york for a couple of weeks now so i've been bachelor patting it at my house you're having some husband what's your husband meals looking like just sweet yeah i mean like honestly like if i'm feeling like i want to treat myself i go to forage and get you know get a little korean fried chicken bowl or something naughty naughty i like the i like that you only eat food in bowls that is something that yeah that's something i like that and you So I think if I were you and I was having a husband meal while the old ball and chain's out of town, I'd be at Ye Rustic Inn watching the Clippers or something. Put away some wings, for sure. Yeah, that happens. I find that LA is not that hospitable to the single man who wants a burger and a beer at the bar. Wow. I think that's an East Coast thing for sure. Eating alone is an East Coast thing. Here, it's frowned upon. And when you go into a bar and you're just like, just one, just one, and they put you somewhere, it's a little dark. Yeah, I agree with you. I do it in New York all the time. Here, that's why I go to Sweetgreen. There's no judgments there. Even under those harsh fluorescents at 630. They're just trying to get you out of here. They're not judging you for your time. We were hoping we could close early tonight. Exactly. Houston's is good for a solo burger bar. My wife does a lot of solo dining at Dintai Fung, actually. Oh, yeah. That's a good idea. You can get a spot at the bar kind of easily. Houston's is too busy because people will pull up and eat. Groups of three will eat at the bar because there's nowhere to fucking sit. You know what I mean? Yeah. Well, three.

Plus one, that's four. We got room. We got room for ourselves, bro. You guys need a fourth? Can I just jump in here? You guys need a fourth? I would love to break bread. Where are you guys at Yellowstone? Where should we go? Exactly. You guys like TV, right? You look like you watch TV. Man, that's fucking crazy. Let's talk about her, huh? I wanted to talk about the Ringer and Spotify universes. I've been reading stuff about how the Rogan contract is running up next year and what's going to happen. I've been reading about investments in podcast creators that didn't work out so well and investments in networks that maybe didn't work out so well. It seems like Rogan and Ringer are kind of the two things that are working really well. Yeah, I mean. Would you more or less disagree? I think there are other things that are working well, but, like, yeah. I guess call her daddy maybe, but, you know. Yeah. But there's been a lot of stuff that ended up being stinkers, investments that didn't work out so well, a lot of things shifting around. And I'm seeing a lot of maybe budgets opening up next year. What do you think Chris and I need to do to maybe get a little deal over there? To get the Swedish blessings? Yeah. To get the Swedish blessings. I don't need a call her daddy size. You know, it can be smaller than that. We're more of a niche kind of thing, and we understand that. So just keep that in mind. It doesn't need to be eight figures. It can be a mid-seven. Well, I'm personally negotiating the Rogan renewal. So as soon as I'm done that, I'll definitely run it up. Okay, this is perfect. You're the guy for the job. I knew it. Leave a couple M's on the side for us. We don't take much. But, I mean, obviously, I mean, I guess not obviously, but you may have listened to us before. I have. Yeah, but some of my friends have come on the pod before. I've listened to the podcast. I enjoy it very much. Okay, thank you. Thank you. I appreciate it. We have friends in the building. This feels good already. I guess maybe other than us becoming famous, is there something that maybe you could, like some suggestions or tips that might make us a little bit more blessed by this week? Do you guys really want to sacrifice your pure independence, the ability to just like come and go as you please? You want to be like...

into corporate ownership? My wife has a standard of living that is hard for me to maintain. Chris, let me tell you something about myself. I'll do anything for the right price. And selling out to the corporate lords of Spotify, I have no issue with that. We do McDonald's ads. Yeah, we don't give a shit. The ship's already out to sea. Yeah, exactly, exactly. Chris, this is not a Fugazi t-shirt that you're wearing right now. That's just like an affectation. Yeah, no. I come from a Fugazi background, but I am capitalist. He's a little more this is not a Tom Ford t-shirt nowadays, I guess. Right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That is something that would get me to SoFi is a Fugazi reunion for what it's worth. I like the idea of everybody paying five bucks. We're going to see Fugazi at SoFi. parking is 50 but the show is five and the show never starts because ian's constantly telling people not to like mosh and to respect each other in the crowd yeah 50 000 people yeah i mean i don't think we're look we're not looking to sell out but i think that we've seen so many of our peers you know kind of get to this spot and it's like well that is i mean call her daddy is a great example i've never listened to it and it's but i and now she's doing this tour right right now yeah and i saw the footage of new york and it's fucking insane it looks like it's like it looks like it's oprah live you know what i mean like a convention yeah it's got the full screens it's got like furniture you know it's like a whole she wears a headset mic you know it's fucking crazy it's so it's so impressive you know what she's done but like i just i is it that it's just that general interest i guess is a part of it the same way sports are the same way tv is in some ways there's so many people that are interested in yeah and i think she actually has been she's been around alex has been around for a while like when she they did that show with barstool and barstool has such like a like like an incredible fan base for their stuff so it winds up building and building and building i mean that's the thing is that like a lot of the shows that we're doing now have their their roots in like doing grantland and like

like 10 years ago now so some of it is just time spent that i'm i'm not answering your question about uh about how much money spotify will pay for how long gone because i just don't want to show my cards yet you know what i mean like sure you're a master negotiator and your boss has said hey look this is the max we can do yeah go in there and make it go on the pod talk about fucking sweet green for 20 minutes and then And then make your last best and final offer. Yeah, best and final. And I don't know how you can slide a slip of paper across the digital desk in this situation. It'll appear in the Zoom chat. It'll say... Zoom chat, but it's a bad iPhone photo of a white piece of paper with a number on it. We're going to need a couple more zeros. It's not that much different than it was when we were at the ringer, is the answer to your question, I guess, if you're asking how things have changed or anything. I mean, if you're asking how you guys can get rich, I don't know. But it's pretty much like the way we were making the company back then. It's just, you know, we have a little bit more resources, and obviously the studios and stuff like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. You guys do live shows sometimes, live podcasts? Yeah, we've started doing more now. Right in 2019, I feel like we were about to start doing them, and then we went to... We did one at Sundance in 2020, and then right after that, the COVID hit. You did one a little while ago at the El Rey in LA, yeah? We did. I know you guys are doing that soon, right? Saturday night. We're doing that this weekend. We've never done a podcast there. How does it feel? What's the backstage like? I like the LRA a lot as a podcast because they put seats down and there's the sort of booths almost to the side. So it is pretty cool actually to do it there. And it's just the right size. I feel like really huge rooms for podcasts are a little bit odd. Yeah, that's why we're keeping it. Exactly. That's why we're keeping it at El Rey. Too big. It just feels impersonal. Doing a podcast at the El Rey to me seems insane. That's my own private sofa in so many ways to think that we're able to do a show there. I'm still processing my inferiority.

complex or whatever but you feel like how long gone fans are like particularly like animated you know like as a crowd like or are they pretty like they are they pretty like we keep it yeah they they yell they yell stuff it depends on the city they laugh let's be let's be honest denver and san francisco yeah they're dull as a fucking board but you know other other places they are lit when we were in copenhagen it was a little different but that's only because of their nobody told us that people wait to Show their appreciation and applause after you're done talking, not while you're talking. And that's just like a regional specific type of thing. Cultural difference. Typically in our normal cities, wherever we do shows, people are laughing along and they're participatory and stuff like that. The LRA is cool. We did a rewatchables at the New Beverly Theater, which was pretty fun. Not a one-off, but it was a cool experience. Chris, have you guys ever done Atlanta? Have you ever done hometown shows? Yeah, we've done Atlanta a few times. It's fine. It doesn't touch New York or L.A. His parents come. That makes a difference. My parents come. Oh, that's nice. I mean, it's good. Chicago is better, though, for whatever reason. I guess I've been gone too long, maybe. Yeah, that it did. You know that I have no like it doesn't really I'm from there, but it's been 20 years. You know, it's not like a sentimental return for you or anything like that. No, no, no. Also, I don't I'm not a big sentimental cat. And the places that I the places that I grew up going to aren't really there anymore. You know, like for the most part, like they're kind of that's what happens. You know, is Philadelphia. Are there places that you go there where it's like. You know what really is weird is that my neighborhood in Philadelphia, the neighborhood my mom still lives in, which is where I grew up, has gone through pretty much this transformation where I love it now. It was always fun, but I grew up there, so I couldn't really see it with open eyes and everything. It's right by where the art museum is in Philly. And then now, all of a sudden, there are all these great bars and restaurants in that neighborhood, so it's actually pretty fun to go back. It's just the same thing, though, where it's like everybody,

Who I know in Philly is like either has like two or three kids or doesn't live there anymore. Yeah, I mean, that's what happens. That's what happens. But I think that I feel the same way when I go back to Atlanta. It's a better place to go now. There's more to do. It's like a higher quality. I'm sure Jason feels the same way about Orange County. Orange County is really the renaissance. Things are great, dude. The fish tacos are banging. There's pros and cons. I mean, like, it's become, you know, a conservative racist cesspool. And they listen to exclusively country music, which is – that's all bad where we used to have Sublime and small businesses. But now there's an Equinox and an Erewhon and a Sweetgreen. Like my mom sent me a text yesterday like, oh, the Sweetgreen is opening up in Huntington Beach. Do you know when it's going to open? And then I texted my friend Nate who was one of the owners and he's like, yeah, I'll – I'll put her name on the guest list for the opening party, and she's just like, oh, no, you don't have to do that. Jesus Christ. So it's a bummer to see your old hometown go, but it's nice to see it's cool that now my mom can go to Sweetgreen, and if I go visit, I can go to Equinox or whatever it may be. Yeah, I think that stuff is just so inevitable with cities and the way people. cry foul when it happens is just like what do you what do you want like what do you think is going to happen you know especially like in new york it's insane to me like yeah bro every neighborhood is eventually going to be 10 million dollar brownstones and that's just what that's just how god intended it there's nothing we can do about that yeah it's like that's the whole also getting sentimental about city banks like this used to be a city bank now it's like when i was there that's like it was every single there was either a Gap or a Starbucks or both on every block. For sure. And I was like, when I was working at Kim's, it was like, that was like really the peak of like, I think it was actually like pretty convenient and fun around St. Mark's, but like the idea of comparing early 2000s St. Mark's to like 1970s St. Mark's. Yeah, you can't do that. When it was actually cool. And now when I go to St. Mark's, I'm like, this shit is cooked. Yeah, yeah. Like, I hate it here. For sure, for sure. Yeah, I mean, you worked at Kim's?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was the rap, a rap and indie rock buyer in the back. So I wasn't on the floor that much, but 2001 to like 04, I think. That's a nice sweet spot for both of those genres, I gotta say. Yeah, that was cool. Yeah, I only worked at Kim's and then I started working at like magazines and websites and stuff like that. Yeah, it's such a success story. I never worked in a record store. And why is everyone that works at a record store a dickhead? I don't know, because honestly, in retrospect, it's the best job I ever had. It was like so fucking nice. It was just like, yeah, you had to stand a lot. I got so many free CDs, dude. It was sick. Can you put things in alphabetical order? Then you can work here. The register will do the math. All you have to do is file this stuff away. And then every once in a while, like. maybe give somebody some like sincere advice about what to buy i mean i i do but but it has been like there's a place in atlanta i grew up going to called wax and facts that's been there forever and it's like a legendary spot and i would go there i mean you know for years multiple times a week and they would just treat you like dog shit i never cracked that shit one time no one would even fucking smile at me you know what i mean and they just look like shit like their back hurts are all hunched over and it just it's just like This seems like your passion. Like that's why you're – like obviously you'd rather be a musician or whatever most of the time. Right. But like this is what you love. You're not flipping burgers. I have worked – every record store I've ever worked at, like the internal culture was like to treat people with total contempt. But that's – I don't know why. Honestly, it was kind of bracing to enter a new industry and be like, oh, so I'm not supposed to be a surly prick every morning? Yeah, every single thing someone says to me, I have to be like, that's bad. That could get exhausting. Yeah, no, but it was honestly like, it was never spoken. It was just the idea of customer service was completely foreign. The idea that you would be like, we really want...

word of mouth to get out there that this is a fun place to come and shop and that if you need help finding something that these people are just they can't wait to help we want to actively gatekeep our products from you that you're trying to purchase yes and that you're you're interrupting me like trying to talk to this woman or something like that are you interrupting me yeah like i'm i'm i'm busy i think i wonder i wonder now i actually You know, because you go into any cool record store and they have to sell fucking Taylor Swift, 180 gram, you know, and Olivia Rodrigo and shit. And that's definitely why their doors are still open. So I'm wondering if that surliness may have had to kind of step back because, you know. That definitely happened to me at Newberry Comics because that was the job I had during college in Boston. And Newberry Comics is a really good record store. But as I was there, they started selling South Park. memorabilia as like basically like what that was like basically how they made their money was selling south park socks like the stuffed poop toy or whatever and uh it really like it really like sort of diminished the fact that we would have like a limited edition 12 inch and somebody would be like yeah but what i need is like the chef and the poop for my kid for christmas that yeah i mean a lot of those places turned into like we sell toys and comics and all that. It's like, that is dorky. If records are fucking dorky, the only thing that makes it more dorky is fucking toys and comics. I don't think Kim's ever went that route, but Kim's is also closed. Yeah, I was going to say. I was going to say, maybe they should have, but I'm glad they held strong. Kim's died with their boots on, though, you know what I mean? That's right. When it was 20... You said 2001 to 4. Yeah, like around 4, yeah. So you're in your early 20s, I'm assuming. Yeah. I guess around that time, were you making music of your own at all? Oh, never. No. No, I was briefly in an emo violence band in Boston for one show. That's Boston. That tracks for Boston. Never, ever. What did you play in this emo violence band? Vox. Vox? Vox?

I played front man. His instrument was throat on the liner notes. I gotta say, it doesn't matter, it's regardless of any format, but the sort of hardcore emo to podcaster pipeline is undeniable. From the Ringerverse to us to so many other shows and other people we've talked to. They're just like, oh, yeah, I like Ink and Dagger. And you're like, what? It's what the University of Miami is to the NFL is what the emo hardcore scene was for contemporary podcasters. I don't know what that through line is. Were you into that in Philadelphia growing up? No, Philly, I was probably more into rap and stuff in high school. And then when I got to college and moved to Boston, I fell in with a bunch of guys who were doing basement shows in Mission Hill. And that was, like, I was into indie rock, but that was, like, my introduction to this whole other kind of music. Like, in some ways, I'm kind of a dilettante because I think I always, even at a pretty young age when it was incredibly uncool to do this, identified more as, like, a music critic or, like, a writer or whatever rather than, like, a musician. Or even, like, I was a fan, obviously, but, like, I think I already started kind of, like, looking at things in this... in this critical way like uh but when i moved to boston like that was like i was by myself and and met these guys who were like they were in a band and they were like they lived around the corner from like the hydra head house and like there was just like you know like when i got my job at the record store like there were guys from cave-in or whatever who would like worked at the warehouse and they would drop stuff off and it was like much more of a social thing than it was not cave-in oh damn not cave-in yeah first first cave-in album is sick bro so classic no it's a classic i think they're back i think yeah i think they're back they all are yeah i mean you know uh the best part about cave-in is how bad that stuff looks now it looks the aesthetic the artwork and shit looks

so dated like wrong more than other stuff oh it does it looks it looks so dated it looks what what what artwork from that era is not dated no no it's all dated but that one in particular feels like i think i think because you're you're against that aesthetic so much well it's an ugly aesthetic but like if you want to put a box poster in your room by by all means you go off but it's an ugly aesthetic it is so wait what's your preferred aesthetic though from that i mean None of it's great. Saves the day sitting on the couch? Saves the day sitting on the couch is iconic, is the reality. I mean, whether we like it or not, that is an iconic album cover. It's because it's clean, it's collegiate, it's safe. I mean, I think some of the Converge stuff was cool, and it was just like a painting, you know what I mean, or whatever. And that was the guy who's the singer from Converge did all that, right? Yeah, but then you see the artwork on shirts and stuff now, and you're like, no, no, no. Like, I can't wear that. It feels like... almost twee now i i can't explain it it's a very strange it is a little twee it is yeah i think so maybe you're not masculine enough to wear something like that chris i'm definitely not no but he does have a full jane doe chest piece tattoo yeah jason yeah i know jason's wearing his tank top but it's just below it i stopped listening to converge after jane doe um or i guess i stopped listening to hardcore once it started doing uh i guess emo violence maybe is when i stopped listening when when the vocals would go from traditional hardcore to the pussy singing, then that's when I was like, I'm out kind of thing. You don't like a fast, like a quiet, loud, quiet, loud, quiet, loud kind of structure? I was okay with that, but when it got into that melodramatic falsetto singing about like... A girl not calling you back. Also, not a single one of them could sing, so that kind of did cause a problem that no one could actually sing, and it was kind of rewarding. I was more into the start-stoppy of a Deftones, maybe, was a little bit more palatable for me, where it's like...

Sort of a troubled whisper into the mic. Yeah. Versus a, yeah. I believe a pained whisper because every member of the Deftones is like a construction worker. So I do know that they, you know, they didn't get off early today. They missed their session. So I can't believe it. Yeah, it could be. Got a nail through the foot earlier this morning. Yeah. Chino got a nail through the foot, and that kind of informed his vocal style. Oh, my God. The job site was so busy. We didn't even have insurance. It's crazy. So, Chris, now that you're an adult man in your 40s as a retired hip-hop head, what kind of new music are you listening to? I just listen to Botch. You said Botch only. You're not listening to Young Nudy or anything? Is there anything new that you're listening to? Yeah. Actually, there's a lot of stuff that I think is fun. somewhat referred to as hardcore adjacent that's come out over the last year that i like a lot like where it's bands were obviously like either members were in hardcore bands or like there's elements of hardcore in it but i really like the spiritual cramp record uh that just came out a couple weeks ago that's kind of like more like like 70s punk meets hardcore stuff and has a little bit of elvis costello or the clash it's really good okay uh that sounds good yeah that's really good i like the military gun album people love that shit people love that i like do you like narrowhead yes i do yes that's good too i like that as well yeah there's like this the craziest thing is how how many bands right now sound like hum it's like this random hum is a it's that the way that's fetishized on the internet and they had one song yes it's easy one hit yeah but but the you know what i mean like it's fine you can if i was like here's stars do you have to listen to more hum exactly what i'm saying like we it starts and stops with that song yeah and it there's like a phase where like it was like a reference point i'm like guys this wasn't a real band like they weren't really a band no it's incredible to watch then the late 90s get excavated like that and just be like oh this is what you guys

of all the things to be like obsessed over it's like these guys because that was like an mtv like one hit wonder kind of situation yeah and they were like in label limbo for a while and like i think they put out like three albums i like hum And they put out a record recently, too. They put out a comeback record. Yeah, I'm all set. You're good? I'm all set. I didn't need the first one. I needed one song. I got that from you. We can pack it up. So there's this David Fincher movie coming out. It's out now called The Killer. I've heard it's very good. It's an amazing movie. And one of the best things about it is that The Killer, played by Michael Fassbender, only listens to the Smiths. Oh, cool. really the entire the entire movie it's only smith songs that he's listening to on an ipod nano and i need to get back to that or i need to find that i need to find the band the one band that i'm putting on a not connected to the internet device dude that is listen to that you might get me to go buy a ticket to a movie now that i i don't like it's it's tough it's on net it's on netflix dog i don't have to go oh great i'm already a subscriber that's amazing well i used to i used to do that where i had i had the nano the the bigger one with the screen and i would yeah as soon as my plane would land wherever i was i would have like a song that i would play and that would sort of be like all right Now my new life in Denver begins. He put on his little Radiohead song and walked through the airport. Yeah, I put on my amnesiac and then my life was a movie because of Bon Iver. So disconnected from modern life as I go through this terminal. Wait, what did you say? Hold on, let me turn my iPod off. All right, Chris, well... Thank you for taking the time to chat with us. We appreciate it. This was a pleasure. Thanks, guys. We appreciate you. Thank you. Honestly, I knew you have a rich music background, but I didn't expect emo to come up, so I'm always happy. Anytime we can get to the aesthetics of Jacob Brandon cover art, I think we've done everything. Yeah, that's the thing. What was the name of the emo violence band that you were playing throat for? It was called Crash Activated. We played one show.

With cattle decapitation and Tristeza. Not Tristeza. Oh, we're going into the crates, baby. Other than your band, what a lineup. I used to love both of those bands. I mean, your band was great, too. It's just you only played one show, so I didn't really make it over to OC. Yeah, too bad. That's how you stay mythic. You play one show. You kind of disappear. We just couldn't get along. Everybody who saw that show started a band that also only played one show. Yeah, exactly. You've inspired your peers. I got to say, much like my Hulu menu, I have decision fatigue as to what song will be played. at the end of this episode. You just threw so many names at me, and I'm fucked up, man. I don't know if cattle decapitation's on iTunes, but you can try. I have the file somewhere. I'm going to have to rip a seven-inch. I have the technology. It's probably on an old Nano that you can unlock. Yeah, he can take it out of the Nano for sure. I'm going to call my mom, see if it's in the garage. Well, thanks, Chris. We appreciate it. Check out... Check out Chris Ryan on the Ringerverse. He's got, how many episodes of The Watch do you guys have? Like 800-something now? We just did 800. Yeah, we just did the 800th episode. Crank it. All right, thank you, Chris. You're making us look prepubescent. We'll talk to you soon. Later, bro.