003. - Hari Nef

All right, this episode of How Long Gone is brought to you by Stateside with Kai and Carter, a new podcast from The Guardian. And they are using this podcast to slow down the news and wrestle with the questions that we all have about what's happening in the world. And they do it three times a week. Jason, does that sound familiar to you? We don't really talk about, you know, a lot of international global news items and climates and cultures and sports and things like that. We do talk about fashion and wellness, but for everything else, Kai and Carter are a great place. All right, so who couldn't use more news? Listen wherever you get your podcast. or watch on YouTube. Want to make a podcast? Spotify's got a platform that lets you make one super easily, then distribute it everywhere, and even earn money. We like that. All in one place for totally free. It's called Spotify for Podcasters. And here's how it works. Spotify for podcasters lets you record and edit podcasts right from your cellular telephone or your computer. So no matter what your setup is like, you can start creating today. Then you can distribute your podcast to Spotify and everywhere else, those other places that podcasts are heard. Video podcasts are also available on Spotify. And when you want to take conversations with your fans to the next level, Q&As and polls are the best way to get them talking. With Spotify for podcasters, you can earn money in a variety of ways, including ads and... And podcast subscriptions. And best of all, it's totally free. Zero catch. We've been using it ever since we started How Long Gone. And ever since I discovered Spotify for Podcasters, I feel like having the option of turning off the Q&As and the polls on the user dashboard has really helped boost my creativity and take it to another level. I highly recommend giving it a try. Download the Spotify for Podcasters app or go to www.spotify.com slash podcasters to get started.

What's up, bruh? What is up? How are you? What's really good? Oh, another day in paradise. A nice long run outside. Quick ab session. A healthy lunch. You know, just doing some writing. Jesus. Okay, what did you have for lunch today, Chris? I had some scrambled eggs with avocado. Mush on mush. What was our contrasting flavor going on in there? There was some red pepper. There was no vehicle with more of a structure to it, not even a kale rib or something? No, there was some gluten-free toast. Okay, that's what I was wondering. Gluten-free toast is just as bad. You're really disappointing. But when I'm doing these long runs, I need the carbs, bro. Yeah. I mean, you really are changing. Dude, look. My body's changing too, bitch. Hearing Chris say the sentence, I need carbs, goes against everything you've ever said or stood for in our entire relationship. I think I'm coming. I mean, I think this is a moment of transformation for me in many ways. So I would like you to just stick with me. And it sounds like you're doing just fine. I am. All right. So we have a guest today. Our first guest, actress and writer, Hari Neff, who is also in it. And model. And model. I would hate to forget that. She's also quarantined right now, but we'll get the story from her. Let me just, how do I do it? Oh, this is huge for me personally. This episode of How I'm Gone is brought to you by TaskRabbit. Oh, baby, let me tell you something. This is not a joke. I use TaskRabbit a lot because I can't do anything. You need some art hung? TaskRabbit. You need something put together? A cabinet? Got to reach that cheese grater on the top shelf? TaskRabbit. Anything you need, TaskRabbit can take care of it for you.

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Obviously, Jason, you and I spend a lot of time on the World Wide Web, so do all our peers, our listeners, our friends, our colleagues, maybe even your parents if they're freaky. And if you're doing anything in the world... writing, taking pictures. I do topless boxing. You need a website. Exactly. A website that works, that does what it's supposed to do, that allows you to be creative, but also business-minded. Jason, there's one place to go for that, Squarespace. Yeah, Chris, I'm over here. I'm modifying calculators and putting Claude inside of them so you could cheat at school. And I just want a place where I could have everything all in one place. I can have the SEO tools. So those future graduates can find me and, you know, I'm able to accept quote unquote donations for my services that might be gray area. You know what I mean? And then email campaigns. Hey, I got a new, you know, 2.3 version upgrade. Boom, boom, boom. Get the analytics going. Raise some money. Show your investor all of your cool analytics of what's going on. They're going to want to get in early. And we can use Blueprint AI to make your website look as professional as your competition, if not more. So head to squarespace.com slash howlong for a free trial. When you're ready to launch, use offer code howlong to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or a domain. There we go. So we can only do video? i don't know guys i guess but it doesn't matter just turn the video just to turn away from your face if you want oh there you go oh there's a you can hit the little button that just has the video camera next to the red x oh there we go just don't hit the microphone well because that'll camera off okay there we go wow guys thank you for bearing with me this is fucking sick I really apologize for that technical difficulty. But as I told you both, and Jason knows from our years of friendship, I'm not very technically inclined. That is very true. But hey, we did it, man. We did it. We're here. All right. So this is the third episode. Hari, how are you? Where are you? Tell us everything. I'm good. Thank you for asking, Chris.

I, um, about a week ago, like a week ago tonight, I, um, I don't know. I, I felt a weird vibe in New York city. I, you know, I, I was, I was. Did something happen that could make this, make a weird vibe go down? Wait, did something happen? I've been, I just got back from my retreat. It was like a silent thing and like, but I did notice it is kind of weird out. You know, it was that liminal zone where people, like, everybody was responding differently. I was sitting in the wing and I saw all of these, like, empowered millennial women just kind of, like, shrinking into their chairs hour by hour. When you say the wing, do you mean metaphorically speaking or the actual wing? No, I was actually at the wing. The workspace. Got it. The workspace. Soho, very chic. I prefer that one to the flat iron. The fact that you are well acquainted with the insides of more than one wing is... Have you met Chris? That's jail. Okay, you're asking me if I've met Chris, and the answer is I don't know. That's the perfect answer. So, all right, I'm sorry. So situate us again. You're at the wing. You're seeing these empowered millennial pink clad women shrink into themselves and you felt panicked. Yeah, I felt panicked. And I just moved back to New York and I have this new apartment. And I'm trying to do it right this time with the whole apartment thing. And so I have no furniture because I want to choose it all very deliberately and plan it all. But I have a mattress on the floor and two poker tables and four folding chairs. Wait, are you a hot skater? I didn't realize.

Yeah, Scar's Pizza Baby. Are you a poker player, though? Oh, my God. I am become the hot skaters of my youthful indiscretions. No, I... No, I... So, like, my sister was going to come this weekend, and we were going to, like, rough it and have, like, a cute girls weekend in my empty apartment. But then it got all kind of weird, you know, like... A friend of mine who's like, you know, in his 40s and he's got kids and he's like, you know, just like a really solid coastal elite. Like we had lunch on Monday and he was just like, you know, he kind of like, you know, duffed his metaphorical hat toward me and was like, you know, like it might get kind of weird in New York. And I was like, oh, my God, like there's there's a guy who knows stuff telling me that it's going to get weird. And I was kind of carrying that around with me. all week and then you know with my sister coming i was like i don't want things to get weird and we're stuck here in the empty apartment so i got on the midnight train to um route 128 going anywhere yeah no no i i really got the last um i got the last northbound regional amtrak out of penn station and i'm hiding out at the family homestead um outside of boston and you know this is cool this feels like a succession podcast now i know this is getting a little waspy for even me and that's the only fantasy i've ever had in my life so i'm jewish i resent that well i i couldn't tell about the family compound outside of boston give me some give me a break she didn't take a helicopter though yeah that's true we don't even live on like the old money side of town. Like it's, it's, it's, it's very, you know, it's, it's, I mean, I'm in a house with, you know, enough bedrooms for all of us to sleep. My poor sister is home from college. My, my, my poor mother is quarantined.

You know, not quarantined, but, you know, it's, it's, you know, it's, it's, I didn't mean to say like the compound. No, that was a joke. No, that was a joke. That was a joke. Everyone's house is a compound now. That's true. The modern. Well, so what do you, do you feel like, are you reconnecting with nature? Are you working? Are you eating healthy? Are you exercising? Are you meditating? Like, what's the vibe? Girl. Well, also, you mentioned my poor sister, my poor mom, but what about poor you? It's time to focus on that for a minute. I mean, it's such a joke, right? Because, like, you know, for reasons I don't want to go into too deeply, like, I was in the house most of November and all of December, like, for, like, a positive reason, not a negative reason, but it was like, you know, I couldn't really do stuff. Yeah. Getting that book done. Yeah, I, you know. off the record mumble mumble mumble but you know I kind of like I did this for I just did this for two months so I'm sort of used to it but it's like so what I want to say is that coming out of it feels really good and you're like kinder and everything's more vivid but now that I'm thrown back into it I don't know I'm kind of nonplussed like I kind of I have a busy day today like I um I made three audition tapes in the morning with my mother, and I just sent those off. I had an hour long with my therapist, and that was nice. Now I'm here talking to you, my other two therapists. There we go. We're very cheap. That's pretty good, actually. I didn't even think about the auditioning from home, and that's going to be such a thing. Was your mom reading lines and stuff? oh yeah totally like you know i was i was you know i was like flat affect flat affect and then i was like give me more it was really stupid so this was probably very exciting for your mom to be a part of this hollywood magic yeah no she's she's um no she's done stuff i mean all like uh you know i don't know i watched a movie with some friends

Last night, I've been like spiraling a little bit with like, you know, the texting of the boys and the dating apps. And like, you know. that's actually something yeah let's skip over the writing who cares what we wanted to talk about actually was was you know what's really interesting i think is is this this your position of of being on a dating app or and texting vortexes during this time where no one has anything but time so are you feeling overwhelmed with the amount of reception you're receiving um I'm feeling overwhelmed by... Is anyone else, like, kind of horny right now? Well, you know, because Chris and I are both in relationships and we're both kind of quarantined with our partner. So there is a little interesting, like, maybe there's less horny or more horny going on, depending on the situation. But I think if you're single... and you're just with your family and you have a lot of spare time you got to be jacking off a lot right yeah i mean um i haven't been jacking off a lot which i think is the problem yeah i um i it's it's it's not you know the off i crave it's it's um it's like the connection in the intimate like it sucks it's really sweet actually yeah like i I got out of a relationship in January. So it's kind of like, oh, all right. Well, like, geez, you know, it would have been great to just be shacked up with anyone right now. Anyone but your family. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, no, it's great to be shacked up with them. It's just like, I don't know. I wish there was somebody I could like, you know, in lieu of cuddling, it's been like these weird sort of like.

clandestine late night like hey how are you doing look at this airbnb for a like lake cabin that i'm looking at wouldn't it be so crazy if i went there i don't know how to drive though like you know like the i i watched um a film like with someone i met on raya like at the same time and we kind of like texted each other during the movie and then like about the movie after so it's like kind of cute but it's also very like it's extremely cute so this is like this is like the the courting process but while wearing a condom sort of yeah i mean i've heard a lot of people doing that even with just their friends that same kind of thing like we're watching a show together and i i don't really i hate that so much i hate it deeply but for some reason this feels more like cute and innocent to me yeah it's definitely cute and it's definitely innocent but like there's also this like wouldn't it be weird if i jacked off in just kidding unless after we after we watched sex in the city 2 the movie it's like wouldn't be weird would it be weird if i like flew to la right now and we just like quarantined together like would it would it be weird you know no i'm Okay, okay. No, I'm turning it around. What has been, like, the girlfriendation of the situation in quarantine? Like, how deep are both of you, respectively, into your relationships? And, like, what has been the tone so far for this quarantine? Chris, do you want me to go first? You want to go first? I can say, no, I'll go first. I think the tone's good. I actually have found it pretty... Tone good. Tone good. I feel like it's been like pretty, I think it's like, it's still early days is the reality. You know what I mean? So I think the tone is good and it's fun and it's cute. And then like two weeks from now, it's going to be like, all right, what's really going on? Cause like this, it's just, I think for me as a person who truly only lives to socialize, it's very difficult to operate like this, just in this way at all. So I hope that I'm able to keep a.

Keep a calm head. Throughout the process. Because I don't know if we have an end date on this. We don't. Do both of you have. The good talk talk. With the girls. Can you talk. For hours. Ping pong. I feel like that would be really important. With a quarantine buddy. I think so. I think the real underlying energy. About it is. There's no other way. You kind of have to figure it out, so you just do, versus like, hey, this isn't going to work out. I'm just going to move out and find a new house. You can't really do that right now. And it sort of removes the safety net of we have to make this work. We have to be chill with each other. We have to have conversations. We have to have a healthy relationship. because if we don't then it's just super fucked and it's so far it's been very very great and very positive and we're we're coming together and giving each other space when we need it i mean it's also i think in new york it would probably be more difficult because like physical space is lacking you know what i mean i think physical physical space is like me going on an hour run every day even though it's like a little too cold for that gives me like re-energizes me to be back in the house for fucking 12 hours Yeah. It's a reset. Is there like apocalyptic, desperate, impassioned like rabbit sex going on in either one of your worlds right now? Or is it just kind of like business as usual? What's the taste? I don't feel like the world is ending. That's the problem. I think I'm too relaxed. I think Chris never was much of a rabbit to begin with, let's be honest. Wow. Maybe not with you, sweetie, but you don't know what it's like with other girls. We're coaxing him. I like it. I think for now, business as usual in that department, I would say. There's a little bit more. I think the doors open a little bit more for exploration. Maybe trying things that have never been tried before. But still early days. Like what?

tj's about to get pegs during this fucking quarantine it's normal putting a cigarette out of my face stuff like that nothing big sounds like a tuesday making me drink all the milk out of the jug stuff like that just regular stuff like that but i do think this is going to be a test of everyone's patience with any person that they're around for this long like if i was with my parents it'd be the same thing like it's just like how much It's just not how we're supposed to live, kind of. It feels like a bad reality show that I didn't sign up for. And much like any relationship, I think communication has to be increased even more so. Just all the little things that you don't really think about mentioning, you kind of have to mention it now or else weird little things can start bubbling and resentments can start popping up. Just like, hey, I'm going to clean up this puzzle after I go for my jog. Just letting you know. So they're not like this dirty motherfucker is never going to put this puzzle away. Are you spending, is your whole family with you? Is it your mom and your sister and you? Yeah, it's my mom and my sister and my stepdad. So it's like, it's the full house that I grew up in. My poor sister. um you know she she's she's in her freshman year of college and she was just like finding her finding her rhythm and now she's home but she's excited because all her classes went to pass fail so you know that's that's exciting at least i think That is a weird time to be in this position, though, for sure. Like when you're becoming an adult and then you're forced to go back to, you know, being a teenager and it's no fault of your own. That's a pretty weird position to be in. Yeah, I mean, that's kind of how I feel. Well, do you do you think it's discombobulating, too, because you just moved back from L.A. to New York? I mean, the whole gig is so discombobulated right now. I don't know which way.

is up. I haven't known which way is up since 2020 started. And now I almost feel like, I mean, I've had a really chaotic 2020 and the fact that now that everybody else is, it's sort of like a relief. It's sort of like, it's like in literature when like the character is sad and then it starts raining. I think they call that the pathetic fallacy or something. It's all just one big pathetic fallacy right now. I feel like, you know. It's chaotic. I don't know. It's been chaotic for me. I've been running this. This is my program. What did you not like about L.A.? Jason is a lifelong, proud resident. Orange County, born and bred. I would love for you to pick any beef you have with the entire area with him right now. Chris loves L.A. and Orange County just as much, by the way. I do. I do, for sure. No question. I tried to... enlist Chris for some like sly LA trash talk over um over text the other day no he he he was very diplomatic um I I'm proud of you Chris well like all right number one I think that anytime anybody ever moves away from somewhere they kind of have to vilify it a little bit in order for the process to become easier i agree with that as a means of self-preservation yeah like i i vilified new york at the time that i moved away from it which was only like two years ago pretty much um but i i came back because i i was um under stimulated there i i guess it does kind of have connections to corona in a way because i I wasn't really able to like find that, you know, two parts in one part out rhythm that needs to be established in LA in order to live well. I was living in a friend's, I was living with my friend, Tommy, Tommy Dorfman, who's like an angel. My king, Atlanta's own, Atlanta's own. Atlanta's own.

I think it's actually a gender neutral, my royal with Tommy these days. I think that's maybe more of the vibe. I like more royal. That's a good one. I'm going to use that. So I was living with Tommy and Tommy's husband, Pete, and our other friend, Quinn. And it was cute. It was domestic. There was the dog. But it wasn't my home. I don't know. What part of town were you in? I was in Franklin Hills, like Silver Lake area. But then for the second year, that house was getting renovated. So we all kind of like clown card into this apartment in Echo Park that was like cheap, but we were sort of like on top of each other. Like, I didn't have a boyfriend. I didn't have my own dog. I didn't have my own house. And I was kind of like waiting around for like, for like my TV deal to like get finished negotiating. I was waiting around for, you know, like the boyfriend or like, you know, all of those like domestic things that people have in LA where like they go home and they're happy to be home. I was like scooting around looking for, you know, looking to seize the means of production towards that. But it was like, it was like, all right, like Stella again. You're preaching to the choir. Like, like I'm spending an hour, I'm spending two hours a day in the car and I don't know how to drive. So I'm in someone else's car. And then I was learning how to drive. I don't know. I was excited to be in this relationship in L.A. because my ex was moving to L.A. But as soon as he broke up with me, I was just kind of like, well, what's what's keeping me here? Were you working? Not really. Like I was writing and like taking meetings and sort of like, you know, I was doing stuff. But my big thing last year was I was in an off Broadway show in New York. And that was.

I was in New York for three months and I was able to like be in New York without being like, you know, a demonic, like 21 year old, like aspiring model actress, which is like a much better way to be in New York. What I'm saying is there was a lot more that I missed in New York. that i wasn't getting in la i wasn't getting like the talk talk with friends or lovers i wasn't intellectually stimulated and i was l.a will do that to you i mean that's real that stereotype is very real are you into california dudes or new york dudes more oh god what am i i'm i'm not into california dudes not really i mean i I definitely feel like the best men are still in New York city. I mean, they have a little, that's right. Thank you for settling this argument, Jason. Last 10 years. Thank you for, thank you for settling. But they're all taken. Right. They're all taken. And if they're not taken, they definitely have the pick of the litter in a way that's like super pathetic and like is outlined in the sex in the city pilot. And like over and over again. You know, it's definitely passettes, but... I mean... I agree. I think people are more attractive in New York than L.A., just by and large, across the board. I don't fit in in L.A. I'm a complicated brunette baby. Like, it's not happening. That's actually true. Nothing says LA less than complicated brunette. We have room for three of you here, and all the seats are full. Okay, but also, I hate to say this, but it's such a factor. I missed dressing. I missed wearing outfits. I missed wearing an annoying coat and an annoying genie.

and an annoying top with an annoying bag and like accessories. And having strangers look at you and be like, oh God. But having somebody react to it in person versus on your Instagram stories. Yeah, like I would show up to these parties in the hills wearing like a black trench coat and people would look at me like no one would talk to me. What, did you just lose all your Ruka in the move? Like, I don't know what happened here. Like, that's pretty crazy. That's pretty crazy. I mean, I do think that that's a big, we talk about this all the time because that's why people in LA have cars is because they can't get fits off. They can't dress. So they have to have a car to show off what their look is. I think that like the people who really are kind of like adventurous fashion people are just like. 19 year old super rich kids in bel-air that can afford to just buy insane clothing like that and once you move past your early 20s it's just you just settle into like this is my fucking my sweatpants life can we talk about those kids for a second because they they like fascinated me endlessly they fascinated me endlessly because like they were the only people i met in la who really seemed to be like of the place like like i i never for a second questioned their belonging or like their primacy in the context of the lac and like they they they they all have like 10 to 30 000 followers on instagram like the looks are tens like you know they they've it's it's it's like a really amazing mix of like you know vintage Chanel, but also, like, indie designers. You know, like, they've got, like, you know, vintage Viv going, but also, like, Necesso. And, like, you know, it's really some flavorful looks that these kids are turning. And the girls are all surged down. And, like, the face is, like, they're serving kind of like a Dr. Orion physicality. I like surged down.

Yeah, Surgedown is going to get reused for sure. I've never heard that one before. Thank you for that blessing. Yeah, like they're Surgedown and like, you know, it's serving very much like an e-entertainment, but like mixed with like a V-Files girl 2017, you know, abject adjacent Bushwick thing. And I don't know what they do. I don't know where they live. They don't do anything and they live in West Hollywood. I think they're sort of the people who are, I mean, you need to have a lot of money to do all that stuff. And they all have a lot of money from their parents who were like in Blink-182 or something. But I think they're carrying the torch from like 80s, 90s, Beverly Hills, just like. You know, celebrating the fact like we're just rich California hotties. We do a bunch of drugs. We party. We have sex with celebs and life is a gas. And that doesn't really exist anymore unless you, you know, are from Beverly Hills. You have a shitload of money and really good taste. What do they want? More followers. They probably want fame, I would say. I think they want fame and they also don't think they need to do much to get it. because they've been adjacent to it their whole lives. So I think that changes your relationship. Maybe just a sunglasses line. Who knows? Yeah, exactly. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think the big, you know, another like pivotal moment where I decided to move back to New York other than following Chris Black on Twitter is... That'll do it. It's like I was watching... succession to bring it back to there. And I was just like, Oh, I totally could have gone in for this if I had lived here. Like they're clearly casting New York local all the way. And, and, and I was, and I, and I was just like, why am I in the LA casting pool? I'm not an LA actor.

I don't like I'm not going to be on a vampire network show. It's not going to happen for me. And I don't want it to happen for me. I feel like the things that like like the New York things that are filming there and the filmmakers who are like popping in New York right now are like much more aligned with what I wanted to do as an actor. And. Also, 4% of my Instagram following lives in New York City. So I might as well come home to roost, you know? Is 4% high? Yeah, no. Wait, hang on a sec. Let me bring up these analytics real quick. Damn, wow. We got a live analytic reading right now on episode three. We've peaked. Yeah. So my top cities are... So New York, 4%. That's four out of every hundred people who follow me live in New York City, which is kind of a lot. That is a lot. And then London, 1%. Los Angeles, a measly 1%. And then Paris and Mexico City, less than 1%, respectively. Wow, she's international. Ja, ja, ja, ja, ja, ja, ja. Yeah, I mean. I can't believe you just ja, ja, ja, ja. Buckle up. I, I, um, yeah. So like, I don't know. I can't believe we've been talking about this for way too long. That's okay. Well, yeah, you are, I think just, just by, you know, having never really met you, you are definitely a New York person, but everyone needs to dip their toe in the LA pool just to see what it feels like, you know? And all my friends from LA growing up, they went and moved to New York for two to eight years and came back as well. I think. I'll probably be bouncing back and forth for my entire life. And I think that's just... Well, that's also the field you chose. You know what I mean? I think that's part of the deal. And if you have the luxury to be able to do that, what a great life to have. Yeah. Oh, my God. Sorry. My analytics are still open. And my gender ratio is 56% women and 44% men. But I've been watching the male quotient become higher.

percentage by percentage like basically every year every month like kind of as i become hotter and i'm are you an analytics queen i mean i don't like look at it all the time but i do glance at it and you don't have a spreadsheet or anything No, no, no. I mean, when, when you get, when you get verified, you like have to go pay your respects to Ava Chen at Instagram and she like prints them all out for you. I, I am on the path to verification and I can't wait for that moment as a lowly, as a lowly non blue check haver. TJ, do you have one? Only on Twitter, not Instagram. Only on Twitter. I like you saying I'm on the path to verification. I mean, who isn't, bitch? No, but I've got intel saying that there's a team working on it for me. Jesus Christ. That's like when I order Postmates and they say the team of cooks are in the kitchen preparing your fucking pad thai. Fuck you. Yeah, there's a team right now. It's like, stop everything. We got to get Chris a blue check. I'm serious. They were talking, you know, this coronavirus is not going to get in the way of my blue check. God damn it. Let me tell you that. Honestly, a lot of these, Chris has been a through line for a lot of these dating app suitors that I've been kind of talking to. I always go to their Instagram and look at who they're following. And, you know, it's really run the gambit from like, you know, we follow a lot of the same people or just a couple, you know, but Chris has come up very. frequently as a followed entity. Do you use this to your advantage? Are you able to use Chris's expertise to vet these guys? Like, hey, what do you think about this loser? And he'll be like, no, no, no, no, no. Don't fuck. He's a bozo. Don't fuck that guy. Or like, yes, he's super hot. I've seen him at Equinox with his shirt off. You got it. Definitely fuck that guy. Oh, no. He never follows them, but they follow him. Yes. The only flex that matters. God, gas me up.

I'm catching you up, baby. Well, I mean, look, I understand because maybe you and I, maybe your type and my type of male follower is the same. You know what I mean? Just like white dudes with some tattoos and possibly an education. I don't know if that's, you know what I mean? I don't know. Holy shit. I'm so mad. Did I hit the nail on the head? I'm also describing myself. I realized when I say that. There's something about like, I mean, you know, okay. Like this, this last one, you know, it was cool to date someone who like had worked in media and like. knew at least five good restaurants in every major city, and wore a PC, and knew how to order wine. That was a really beautiful experience for me. Are you into tall guys? Because Jason is 6'10", so you just described him. Jason, you have a girlfriend. This conversation is over. But I can recommend a beautiful pet gnat if you'd like. A beautiful what? Pet gnat. It's a type of wine joke. That's all. Oh, see? This is what I'm saying. I'm digging on these guys who know stuff. I mean, I know stuff. I'm cool and I'm smart and I read stuff. But I don't know what tannic means. There's a whole other world out there. Yeah, that's some deep nerd shit that doesn't... I mean, I don't... You want your partner to hopefully fill in those gaps that need to be filled in. And vice versa. Yeah. And so, like, with all of this in mind, it kind of boils down to this, like, very narrow dating pool across New York and LA. And, like, I'm not, like, desperately, like, you know, clawing around in the dirt trying to find a rebound relationship. It's, you know, it's just, like... Are you having more luck on Raya or on Instagram? I don't really do well on Instagram because I think that...

I think dudes are scared to slide. I think that the blue check is like a huge boner killer. Speak for yourself. It probably is for a lot of people. It's more of a challenge to a guy. Yeah. And some people are afraid of a challenge. I remember with my ex, one of his first big spark notes for why he loved me or fell in love with me, he was underneath all of the edgy humor and the glamour stuff. You're just a really nice Jewish girl. So it's this idea of my public persona being... You have to delve deeper than that or something. But I feel like that's kind of... a deterrent. Like, I don't think that I have, like, an inviting Instagram presence for, like, you know, some Tom Dick or Harry to just, like, holler at me. My mom is walking. I'm, like, in my mom's bedroom because it's, like, the cleanest room upstairs. She just walked in. We need to talk about this TMZ post, too. Oh, God. Yeah. It's too good. It's too good. I never make listicles like that, so I just thought it was funny. You know what? It was funny. Chris, can you explain what it is? I'm sorry. For our listeners? It's a sexy book photo that was included in a TMZ. What was the roundup? What was it called? How Celebs are Quarantining or something like that? Celebs in Social Isolation. It's so good. Welcome to the club. It's really good. I really appreciate it. I didn't even see who else was on the list, but I'm sure it's an incredible selection of celebs. Yeah. Did Will Smith make it or anybody? Any Scientologists? Vanessa Hudgens? This Vanessa Hudgens shit is absolutely golden. It is. I'm living. I mean, there's always going to be one person who jumps off that ledge first. There's always going to be one. And they don't live to talk about it, but luckily there's enough going on in the world now where they'll probably get swept under the rug in a couple days. Absolutely. But we can ruin her life for these couple days, though. Exactly, exactly. I mean, it moves so fast, I don't think anybody's going to have much time to sit and think about it.

Also, a selfie of yours appeared on TMZ, which is big. But also this week, I believe Chris posted his first mirror selfie on social media ever, which is equally big because he's always been kind of adamant and very against the idea of him posting a selfie of himself. And the quarantine made him do it. Can I defend myself in this forum? His photographer was not available to visit, unfortunately. No, that's not true. First of all. It was because it was submitted to work from home fits, which is an Instagram account that is very popular right now that some of my friends are doing. So I'm celebrating this. I'm encouraging you to do more. I prefer, I have a rule. Hari doesn't know this, but I have a rule that I only let it's only professional photos prefer. I prefer medium format if possible, but film if nothing else. So in this, in this difficult time, I not only was able to give back to the community and give them the selfie they were looking for. But I was, the photographers are also, you know, these guys are out of work. I have to give them something to do. These guys are struggling. There's no editorials happening right now. When I see a well-color balanced film photo pop up on Raya, I floor it. You floor it to the swipe button? I floor it. Exactly. When you see the hashtag 120 millimeter, you know there's a possibility of a relationship. I need a man who appreciates color, tone, luminosity. Have you checked out this account? Do you know what I'm talking about? What? Do you know that Work From Home fits the account? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Totally. Yes. It's brilliant. Wait, who started it? I'm not allowed to release that information, but you probably know them. I think I do. He probably works at GQ or something. Actually, no. It's all women. Thank you, Jason, for assuming it's a man. If it's somebody that you know, I assume it was a man. Thank you. You know what? Men deserve a little recognition. Wow. Damn right, brother. Hell yeah, bro. Hell yeah. Please go on. Go on. Elaborate. Yeah, continue, please. Give it up for the fellas who are quarantined. Am I right?

I just, um, I, you know, I've, I've been, um, I've been doing this thing where I just like address men who I like, whether it's platonically or, you know, members of my family or romantic interests or like prospective romantic interests. I'm just like, Hey King, what's going on King? Thank you, King. We all are doing that, unfortunately. You're speaking to two men who also do that to other men. But Maroyal is... I think I see myself transitioning into that a little bit. To Royal. I like that. I don't want to talk about transitioning. I don't want to talk about it. Honey, I set him up, you knock him down. We can do this all day. I don't want to talk about that with you. Oh, my God. You left L.A. at the wrong time because you could have been UCB. Right there, you got the chops. I was the captain of the improv group in high school. What was it called? It was called Children of the Candy Corn. Oh, God. Oh, my God. I didn't name it. It's like an institution at Newton South High School. It was really fun. Look, what was high school like for you? What were you into? I was into achievement. God damn it. We were not. I was into achievement and not eating. And American Apparel, Phoenix and the Kill Bill movies. I was really into like the Miss Shapes and like the Miss Shapes book and like the Miss Shapes party pick. I was like, I was so excited. I was like, there's a place. But you went to Miss Shapes eventually, right? Are you too young? No, I'm too young. I like I was reading about like this place called Williamsburg when I was like a freshman. And I was like, I was so excited to move to New York and just like be among the people that I wanted. Yeah. Oh, my God. Vice. Remember Vice? Dude. I remember it very well. Yes. But, you know, all things must come to an end. Remember when I doxed Gavin McGinnis in 2000?

13. I don't remember that. But that's very cool. Continue. I doxed Gavin McGinnis, one of the Vice co-founders, when I found out where he lived from a friend who worked at Vice. That was during my social justice warrior days. I don't condone doxing. I barely even condone social justice war. I did at one point, Docs, the founder of Ice. You're a retired Docs king. Founder of the Proud Boys. I'm very familiar with Gavin. I was there in the early days. It's actually insane what happens to him. Also, his wife is not white, which makes everything, like, his whole behavior is so insane. Yeah, I think a lot of white guys, if they're dating, or if they're married to a woman who is not white. it's they almost increase the racist activity more just because they have a get out of jail free card kind of you know yeah yeah yeah sure i didn't think about that i didn't think about that he's uh where is he now do you think he's broke no hell no no when he when he got when he left vice people thought people thought he got like his shares get that much money yeah he didn't get that much money he got like 10 million bro 10 million is not that much money I don't know. In my experience, the early vice money is long. He's number two, I think, there? They're fucked now, for sure. Nobody's getting money out of it now. I'm saying I think he got a lot of money, but I don't think it's as much as people think it is, is all I'm trying to say. Well, there's a lot of people listening who are like, yeah, I could do $10 million right now. I couldn't live on it. $10 million wouldn't last me the rest of my life. Maybe it would. Would $10 million work for you, TJ? I mean, you could take that and invest it and make it last your whole life for sure. Yeah, but come on. You were idiots. I could absolutely make $10 million last for the rest of my life without investing it. Without investing it. You're saying just take the $10 million, you pay the taxes on it, and you could live on it? I think so. Hari, could you live on $10 million for the rest of your life?

There's only one way to find out. All right. Just send me your Venmo details. I'll hit you later. We can figure it out. Goddamn. I was thinking earlier today. We were talking yesterday about self-care and maintenance in the time of quarantine. I mentioned that I stopped wearing deodorant just for fun because it doesn't really matter. And Chris... adamantly disagreed with that but i also found myself today wearing like old clothes that i don't wear anymore just just because it doesn't matter have you um you know how is it how is this affecting your your wardrobe selections would you put in the rimowa when you when you took the train first of all no no rimowa happening over here good for you it's no it's it's it's my my luggage situation right now is funny because i i I jumped off the cliff and I got two Globetrotters. Oh, my gosh. She just shit on both of us, TJ. Globetrotters. You really are rich. I sure did, baby. Can you explain what that is to our Broke Ho listeners, please? Hi, Broke Ho. It's the girl. Sorry. I just want to say... listen globetrotter trunks um they're they're like i don't know like i travel so much and i always have to like I have to stare at that goddamn luggage. And I feel like the hype luggage right now, it's like, it's very like, it serves luggage. Like I like, it serves luggage. Your luggage serves luggage? It serves luggage. And these trunks, they're like leather and like they're made in UK. And, you know, you can kind of like... you know, kick them into the corner of your, you know, slightly better decorated than average Airbnb in like Berlin or like wherever you are. And like, they kind of look like they were just there when you walked in. No, they are nice. That's exactly what they look like. People use them as like a coffee table and stuff. They're like really nice. They're beautiful. Yeah. Yeah. But I, you know, the dumb bitch juice that I'm sipping on is that.

I got, like, the carry-on Globetrotter, and I got, like, the giant trunk Globetrotter. You know, I don't have the Goldilocks Globetrotter, so my in-between one right now, which is, like, the, you know, suitcase I packed, like, you know, biblically hastily, you know, to try to make my Amtrak, is, like, the one I got at TJ's, which was, like, 20 bucks. And it's, like, red and, like, very naff. TJ Maxx, baby. Not just any TJ Maxx, but TJ Maxx in Newton, Massachusetts. So it's like... So you went from Globetrotter to TJ Maxx Travelon. You have a lot of range as it pertains to luggage. That's what it's all about. I hope maybe I'll invest in another Globetrotter. I don't know, man. So when you have the big steamer trunk... That's the type of thing that other people have to carry for you when you're like a hot, rich woman, right? You can't really carry that yourself. Oh, no. I fully was staying in a friend's four-floor walk-up on the Upper West Side and had to task rabbit a strong, burly man. Hopefully, too. carry it down for me. You're out of control. You're out of control. Next time, I want you to call me and I'll come do it for free, okay? This is really what my life's calling is. How burly are you? I mean, Caitlin Phillips says you work out a lot, but... I wouldn't call myself burly. Despite all of his working out, she is a very not burly girl. I'm not burly, but I am able to lift a suitcase down some stairs. I mean, I'm not like, I mean, I lift weights. Yeah, he's strong. He's strong. Yeah, I can handle it. I mean, I don't know who showed up from TaskRabbit, but I'm sure they didn't smell good or anything. So I could bring more to the table than they could. Well, I'm... Yeah, Chris will show up and be like, can you hold my mountain valley? I'll do this shit. Do you have...

Did you bring weird clothes though? No, no. All right. So right now, now we're getting into this case. No, I brought, you know, I, I, what I did was I emptied my entire, I didn't have like that much laundry accrued from like the week and a half that I was able to be in my apartment. So like everything that like had been in my rotation, it's just like day to day where I just like packed and it's like, you know, in like the dirty clothes compartment. And then I just. I just threw in comfortable stuff. Like I didn't, I didn't bring a dress. I only brought like some docs and like house, like my, you know, Eckhouse, uh, house slippies. Like the green ones. Yeah. The, the, the mint green with, um, yeah, no, they're, they're, they're fab. Um, and I don't know, right, right now I'm wearing like an airy sweater and like, On the winter sales, I got a Max Morrow weekend cashmere leisure set. It's like a sweat pan. I feel so bad for every bro listening to this podcast right now. What is happening? I love leisure set. That sounds pretty good to me. Is this not the vibe? This is the vibe. This is definitely the vibe. Like, I basically brought clothes to, like, have a children of men, like, running with a rucksack vibe and, like, you know, just clothes to casually vibe in around the house. Look, I get it. Look, I totally get it. I think that sounds appropriate. Are you going to pull any weird stuff there from high school that you might dip back into? Oh, yeah. I could even walk into my childhood closet right now and narrate. Should I go do that right now? I think that would be great. This is what it feels like to use the real, real virtual concierge service, I feel like. Exactly. I have to bring my phone with me.

that you are traveling, Chris. What did you bring with you? I brought Chris Basics with some extra flair just in case. Like, I had this pair of really ugly, stussy, like, tree bark sweatpants that I like to pull out sometimes. I brought my full denim look just in case, you know, I need to be in public. I brought a couple sweaters, some Birkenstocks. I brought those new really ugly Kiko Asics. They're green and white and checkerboard. I tried the Kiko Asics. I tried another pair of them, but the rim where you put your foot in was asymmetrical, and I got kind of scared. Yeah, I know which ones you're talking about. These are the new ones. They're very comfortable, actually. I brought a pair of... uh district vision uh solomon trail runners just in case the weather gets you know scary i can i can brave the temperature fully waterproof just in case you know that sounds really nice i'm really smart you know yeah damn are we at the closet chris oh yeah no i'm i'm fully sifting through um i've i've found um oh my god i was so I was so dead set on getting it. I got these for my birthday. When I was probably 13, 14, Visionaire did a collaboration with Lacoste. Do you remember that? I actually do remember that, yes. They came in sets of three, and I got them. I got one of the sets. It was my big birthday present, and I just found one. It's like a... lacoste printed with they're like full they're like full print like full color right uh-huh it's like it's like it's a fashion photo of like angela windfall or something um damn see look if you go through if you go through me or jason's closet you're going to get like a bad hardcore band t-shirt and like cargo shorts so i just want to i just want to point out that this is better than most already no i was fully like i was full hype beast when i was

Like 12. It's just who I am. What do I have in here? I have a t-shirt from Bushwig 2012, which was like the alt drag festival that they have in Bushwick. That's kind of fun. Great name. Yes, it is. Great name. I have this like all lace button up that I got at a thrift store when I was in high school. Cause Phoebe, like Phoebe Farrell was like second Celine collection. She did all that lace and I wanted to be a Celine woman. That sounds a little risque for like kicking around the house with mom and stepdad personally, but. Yeah, no, I've, I've never, I, I have a bunch of, I quizzically have a lot of like t-shirts with magazine covers printed on it. Like I have like Lily Rose depths, love cover on a t-shirt. I have my love cover on a t-shirt. Oh, what a flex. I didn't make it. I didn't make it. I have Kim Kardashian's interview cover, several of them on several t-shirts. I have one of those t-shirts, too. I think I have one of those t-shirts, actually. Yeah, no, they're really good. I'm saving them for posterity. Yeah, I have two here. I have high-maintenance HBO merch. Are you a fan of the show? I am a fan of the show. As am I. Ben is a really cool guy, Ben Sinclair. he's he's he's the co-creator um he's the guy with the beard he's awesome um what the good show to watch during our quarantine times i said that's a very good oh my god i i have this pair of painted jeans that i found in a thrift store they have like watercolors like painted on them of like jesus and oh my god there's a vagina drawn on the crotch with like pubes oh my god this is so good wait i want to send you a picture of these this sounds like these are coming back with you to new york to hit the rotation i think i forgot i had them so now now we've gave you content for the stories in in a trying time where content is needed

We're providing. I have, like, a knockoff silk Chanel, like, bomber jacket with, like, the chain prints that I got at a thrift store in San Francisco when I was 15. Like, that was such an essential piece for, like, you know, the high school New Rave voyeur in 2000. What year was that? 2008. Yeah. 2009. What a time. That was probably when I peaked for the first time. I truly miss New Rave. What a good time. What were the circumstances of your keep, Chris? I'm also leaving. I'm not doing this anymore. I'm going back to the bedroom. I was just flush with cash and young and, you know, doing a lot of coke. It was just cool. It was a good time to be alive. Were you in New York? Yeah, I just got into New York. Yeah, yeah. It was a good time to be alive, I think, just in general. It was a different time, you know? I'm so bummed I missed that. I mean, that's what everybody says, though, about whatever they missed. You know what I mean? It probably wasn't as good as I remember. What were your favorite parties and bands? Only parties and bands. I loved Motherfucker. That was my shit. The one that only happened on certain... It only happened on holiday weekends. So it would only happen on a three-day weekend. But I would just go to Black and White and just do Coke and listen to The Strokes, you know? That's as cool as it's going to get for me. And I mean, all that stuff. I mean, I liked all of it. We were talking about House of Jealous Lovers the other day. What a classic song that is. I was introducing. You never heard it? No, I never really had my proper strokes moment. No, no, no. House of Jealous Lovers is the rapture. Oh, yep. Still nothing. Sorry. Wow. Wow. I played it for our new designer, and he's really young. He was like, Dan, this song's great. And I'm like, how do you not know this? This is like a legendary song. But it's only legendary if you were in nightclubs from like 2008 to 2010. Who's new designer of what? New designer at Public Announcement, a guy that works for us, like a graphic designer. He's like 22, though. So we're able to introduce him to all kinds of new stuff. It's a really fun process. Okay, we've hit our time here. Thank you for joining us.

I haven't done a podcast outside of like a press circuit in like a really long time. And I was kind of nervous. So like, thank you for having me. This has been an honor. Thank you for taking the time to do it. You're our first guest. I just want you to know that. You will always go down in history because this podcast feels like it's going to launch into the fucking stratosphere with the rate we're going. Smart of you to get in on the ground floor is what we're saying. Exactly. No matter how big we get, we'll always remember that you were the first guest and you're welcome back anytime. Thank you so much. I really look forward to meeting both of you. All right, we'll send it to you. Oh, where can people find you on the internet? Go ahead and let them know. TMZ. My first name is Hari, H-A-R-I. My last name is Nev, N as in Nancy, E as in Edward, F as in Frank. And all of my handles are just that, Instagram, Twitter, Letterboxd. Yeah. I'm a shit poster, so hit me up. So hit me up. All right, thanks for having us. You know where to find me, Chris Black, at Duncey Death Projects on Instagram, at Duncey Death on Twitter. Follow me at them jeans. I do know where to find you, yes. Thank you. We will. We'll talk to you next week. Thank you. All right, cool. Thanks. Bye.