776. - DJ Python

All right, this episode of How Long Gone is brought to you by Stateside with Kai and Carter, a new podcast from The Guardian. And they are using this podcast to slow down the news and wrestle with the questions that we all have about what's happening in the world. And they do it three times a week, Jason. Does that sound familiar to you? We don't really talk about, you know, a lot of international global news items and climates and cultures and sports and things like that. We do talk about fashion and wellness, but for everything else, Kai and Carter are a great place. All right, so who couldn't use more news? Listen wherever you get your podcast. or watch on YouTube. How long gone? Chris and Jason back at you with another episode of our podcast. I am mercifully in New York City where the sun has just peaked out from behind the storm clouds. Them jeans, what's good, baby? I'm just still riding high off of you saying how long gone back at you. I just had a good energy to it. That was kind of for you, actually. I thought about you when I was saying I wanted to get you invigorated, kind of give you a verbal cold plunge, if you will. Oh, yeah. Dunk me in. It's a real Beastie Boys style dunk in the cold plunge. Oh, yeah. Back at you, in effect, in the place. Yeah, let me see here. Yeah, I'm just chilling, man. Just mentally preparing to wake up early tomorrow. Off to Eau Claire, Wisconsin. I saw a photo from the show, Kareem, from Subway Takes. He was landing in Minneapolis, and he posted a photo. Shit looked like Transylvania in the dead of winter. Just snow everywhere. Like, it's still wintering there. It didn't look like that. I looked up the weather in Eau Claire, and it wasn't bad. Okay. It wasn't that bad. I'm okay with snow. It's magical. Kareem is the pride of Minnesota, though. It's Prince. I think because of TikTok, he's edged Prince out. He is number one now. Oh, man. He loves that. No, but I also have to get up early. Not quite as early as you, but I can't believe that I'm going back to the airport.

after my week but you know this is duty calls jason and and and we have to go to wisconsin and that's just that's what we excited for we show up yeah carolyn i think is gonna go to las vegas now to see aziz with with sue and some other friends oh is it kind of like uh it's like asian girl it's asian girl grateful dead at the sphere is what it feels like aziz is at caesar's azizar's palace Yeah, we're doing bus runs from Monterey Park over to Vegas every hour on the hour. Let's go. I didn't know Aziz was doing – I thought he was just in Europe cashing Netflix checks and not participating in the cruel world of stand-up, but I guess I was wrong. I think he's been in the lab with the pen and the pad. I think he's probably going to have – I mean, I don't know because he's so removed from America and he doesn't go on social media. You know, it's always interesting to hear what somebody like that has to say. But I feel like he's sort of dipping into his, like, older, wiser kind of Aziz. Yeah! I can't do a good Aziz. It's less like his... I mean, I'm only assuming, but less of his like, you guys, like that kind of vibe into like, let me tell you about parenthood kind of thing. I wonder if he's going to talk about his close relationship with Kanye West. Do you think maybe that's going to hit the cutting room floor? I don't know if he's going to bring up Ye. I don't know if he's going to bring up Ye. I was listening to him talk about Ye on the Joe Budden podcast. And Joe said that he was like, if Kanye came out in the black KKK outfit, you have to punch him. I just thought that was – he was like – he's like, I mean, I would have punched him. Academics should have punched him and then did the interview. I was like, wow, that's an interesting – I wonder how an interview would go if you punch your subject before it starts. you know like what what is that even if they deserve it and they know they deserve it i think that might set the wrong tone that would be it would take two masters of discourse to recover from like all right before we get into this convo and you play me some new beats yeah we're gonna punch each other in the face when when gore videl gets punched in the face by academics and they're they're able to they're able to somehow get through it you know gore famously said everyone's got a plan until you get hit in the nest and he he dealt those out but i mean

It would be really cool to see. I guess it is an ultimate kind of cuck on cuck with academics. He will do anything that anyone says. And then Kanye is the kind of guy of, what if we got in a fight and you hit me a bunch and our bodies were really close? Can you wear these glasses, actually? It's really something else. I did not watch that because I don't care at all. No. It is a striking visual. It's just pathetic. I feel bad. Whatever happened to Kanye, man? At this point, he's wearing a black KKK costume and live streaming with academics. It's dark. What is this? He used to be with Charlie Rose. You know what I mean? He used to really sit with the greats. I bet Kanye West has been on Good Morning America. The fall from Kathie Lee and Hoda all the way down to the depths of academics, that's something that we should study. In the future. It's making Adam 22 look like, you know, fresh air. Yeah, it's fresh air if your fresh air is backwoods. I think that is definitely what that is. Yeah, a whole lot of cough syrup. The fresh air. Yeah, I'm getting mango. I'm getting Hennessy. What else is there on the palate? What are these top notes? Is that jasmine? It is jasmine. Got it. Yeah, I was upset. Is that black ice car air fresher? Yeah, I mean, you're going through it. Yeah, I'm going through it. I was doing the dog walk this morning, walking past the middle school, and then every morning they have free play to get the zoomies out or whatever, and people will play basketball and run around and whatever. And now they converted the play area to pickleball courts. Oh, hell no. It's just a bunch of 11-year-old... Armenian kids with like bally's vests on and they just and you just hearing that whack at like eight in the morning i feel so bad for all these kids the thing about pickleball that shocks me because i i guess i see it all if i go to like bar pity there's a big pickleball court on that corner and it's like hundreds of people playing pickleball but he

The sound is unbelievable, but it also seems to be going so slow. Like, it feels like they're stuck in molasses. Like, you see a guy wind up and hit it, like, you know, some, like, buff banker hits it as hard as he can, and it's like, a child could return it. I don't understand the challenge of the game. Is it a placement thing versus power? It's for people that don't want a challenge. It's for, A, that, and it's for people who have to gamify a game. Who are like, this game is fun, but... What if we made it easier? Cocaine is good. What if we turn it into crack? I feel like they just have to figure out a way to, like, you know, what if we listen to this podcast at .5? Or we go to the batting cages. And, like, instead of doing, like, the fast pitch, what if you just do the softball pitch? And it's fun to hit, and you get to hit it every time. I've been thinking about hitting the batting cages, actually. Is it because the New York Yankees bat? You want to get one of those cool new bats and hit? Torpedo bats? Torpedo bats. I think that Cho and I were having one of those classic I'll beat you in every sport discussions. And I was like, take me to the batting cage. I'll whip your ass. And he was not super receptive to that. You mean he didn't want the smoke? I think he thought he could win, which is, I just think, insane. I'm Jose Canseco of this shit. You know what I mean? How far do you want me to hit it is the question. Not will I. So you guys can battle it out and then to see who goes against me. Is that how? Yeah, exactly. Yeah, exactly. You're more of a Mark McGuire, Barry Bonds type. So you are kind of the ultimate boss. I am a Mark McGuire. Two tall, crazy white boys storied past from Huntington Beach. See, honestly, I knew it. I felt it. I didn't know he was the Starbucks, the local Starbucks to the house where I grew up. There is a signed. plaque with his bat up there because that he just goes there every morning it's really cool that like a starbucks has that like i've never remember back in the day when starbucks was like oh the fancy people's coffee shop and then and then and now you got mark mcguire coming down off steroids asking for a macchiato it's not really it isn't i mean i think 10 ventis keep them coming

Keep them coming. Here's $100. Keep them coming. I'll fucking kill you right now, bro. I'll fucking kill you right now. But I don't understand. I don't understand. I didn't know Starbucks locations were able to personalize like that. I've never seen. That's what I was saying. These are the Starbucks of yore, back when they had some original personality. Oh, I understand. You're saying back in the day. I see. Okay. Okay. Okay. I see. I see. And that was also back when people would make fun of you for being like a yuppie snob for going to Starbucks. And now it's where. People plug their body, their IV drip into the pink drink and ride their scooter home from school. Morehouse had a dinner at Jim last night, and I was talking to Flynn. Shout out, Jack. I was talking to Flynn. The food was really good. I loved it. It was really, really good. But I was talking to Flynn, and he said that there's a guy that comes in to Jim, and he's there from as soon as they open until they close, and he reads a Bible and talks to chicks. But he buys breakfast and lunch. Okay. So it's like a torn, you know, he's torn, Flynn's torn, because, like, obviously, I want this guy out of here, and people are like, what's up with the guy reading the Bible, you know? But he's a paying customer. It's tough in New York. Yeah, I mean, it is a little bit of a check-making scenario. If you are there and you're buying, I mean, at least he's reading the Bible and not Mein Kampf, but... Sure, sure. But now, also, but if he's at Jam Wine... posted up trying to holler at chicks i feel like there's a 40 chance he's listening to this podcast right now jim jim home is a daytime like i feel like yes it's yeah it's very possible but i'm saying like i think that like the commitment to the bit is like basically you're reading the bible to show women that you're like safe i think right but if he does it every day day in day out is it a bit or is it Well, have you read the Bible, Jason? It takes a long time to get through that thing. I mean, it is a dense story.

tome i tell you what i mean if i made it my job i feel like i could finish it in a week you know what i mean at the latest you you definitely couldn't i don't know i mean you maybe you mean it was what 500 pages if that was your only job i don't want to read the 500 pages of slog that is so boring like it's yes 500 pages very derivative really interesting could be exactly i've heard all this shit before obviously um arc yeah whatever But, no, I was really fascinated with those, like the kind of people. Yeah, I was like, Moses, he's been reading Sally Rooney. That shows. Moses posted a selfie on Instagram with Intermezzo hardback. So I knew he was. Moses is eating Intermezzo's nachos right now. Hardcore. Oh, God. Oh, man. I guess the only question I want to know, somebody knows who this guy is. So if you are that person or you know this person. I got to know if this guy is hot because maybe he's so hot. He's so good at pulling women. He's like, what is the, you know, all my endings are burned off. Maybe I'll be guy who reads the Bible and see if I can still get pussy. And he's like, son of a bitch, I'm not good. Somehow I did it. I guess being a bartender and a furniture designer didn't work well enough. I had to reach for the Bible. And that was kind of where I was able to, yeah, it was a funny, and it's funny that I didn't even ask how he looked, which is shocking because it's usually a question I would ask. It's very unlike you to not ask. I was so hungry. I was so hungry after I had a long day. I was so hungry that I think maybe my brain wasn't firing on all cylinders. Well, what was your bite of the night? You were very, don't talk to me until I've had my fava beans. Yeah, there was some sort of salad that was amazing. Is there such thing as a fava leaf? Am I crazy? I mean, there's pea tendrils. No, it looked like a leaf. It looked like a leafy green, but it wasn't one that I was super familiar with. Obviously, the bread and butter is amazing. That salad was amazing. Fava leaf feels very Kratom related. There was like a weird gnocchi thing with mushroom, but then he made me a special because it was roast chicken. He made me like a vegetarian thing that was fucking delicious. It was like all vegetables. But him and I were talking about how like every restaurant now is just like.

a salad and a $65 piece of meat. And he's like, I've been going to Jelena a lot because you can go and just get vegetables. You can get three or four different vegetables. It doesn't cost $500 and you feel better. You know what I mean? It's the proteinification of America right now, bro. Totally. If I want protein, I also want three vegetables. I don't want sad asparagus. You know what I mean? You can do both. Our guest today, when I go out to dinner with him, he's such a protein freak. It's very like, whatever, give me a steak and a salad. If there's almonds on it, get them out of here. God bless him. That's how you keep the gains. I love nuts and a salad too much. That's why he's so shreddy. Our guest today is a friend of the show, DJ Python, who has a new... uh ep out on the xl record label um that i like a lot and i actually i was with it's funny i mentioned that he was coming on the show today to noah johnson earlier and no johnson was like bro i was just listening to that on the way here so i think there's pythons in the air python is having a moment i think it's cool to see him doing the the press rounds obviously for fans of the show remember he was on a couple years ago and he it was a real kind of a legendary episode that a lot of people liked whatever python's spitting out we're lapping it up right chris yeah i'm like a cat with warm milk when it comes to python yeah it's cool to see him doing like you know the pitchfork video content and it's cool if he showed up on time um but he's two minutes late right now so i'm kind of if he's if it you i'm gonna give him till five and then I texted him. He knows. We got to call it. You know what I mean? We got to call it after five. What am I supposed to do? Your hands are tied at this point. I get it. It's fine. Every time I go into Sweetgreen now, somebody's talking on speakerphone. I swear to God. And it's been the same girl three times. You're going to have to change your times or change your location. I recognize her from Equinox, and then she's sitting there talking to her Greek mother or something.

Like trying to talk her 80-year-old mother through like using email on speakerphone. This is not a joke. This is 100% something that happens. And I'm just like, this is crazy. Like I see you at the gym. You have giant headphones. You know what I'm saying? Like I know you have AirPods. Do you think that people, there's some reason or some way that some people get some pleasure out of being the annoying person on speakerphone? I want to think that. But I think they're more just like. I don't care about anything but myself. And I don't even consider the fact that this could be a problem. You know what I mean? Classic narcissism. All right, Brian's here. This episode of How Long Gone is brought to you by Squarespace. Obviously, Jason, you and I spend a lot of time on the World Wide Web, sort of our peers, our listeners, our friends, our colleagues, maybe even your parents if they're freaky. And if you're doing anything in the world... writing, taking pictures. I do topless boxing. You need a website. Exactly. A website that works, that does what it's supposed to do, that allows you to be creative but also business-minded. Jason, there's one place to go for that, Squarespace. Yeah, Chris, I'm over here. I'm modifying calculators and putting Claude inside of them so you could cheat at school. And I just want a place where I could have everything all in one place. I can have the SEO tools. So those future graduates can find me and, you know, I'm able to accept, quote unquote, donations for my services that might be gray area. You know what I mean? And then email campaigns. Hey, I got a new, you know, 2.3 version upgrade. Boom, boom, boom. Get the analytics going. Raise some money. You know, show your investor all of your cool analytics of what's going on. They're going to want to get in early and we can use Blueprint AI to make your website look as professional. as your competition, if not more. So head to squarespace.com slash howlong for a free trial. When you're ready to launch, use offer code howlong to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or a domain. All right, this episode of How Long Gone is brought to you by Quince. Jason, the temps are warming up. It's getting hot out there. Summer always changes how I get dressed. I need pieces that feel lighter, more breathable.

And they're just easy, but still put together. I don't want to look like a slob. That's why I keep coming back to Quince. They focus on high-quality essentials that feel and look amazing. Breathable linen and soft organic cottons. Well-made basics, but without the luxury markups. That rare balance where everything feels elevated. but still effortless. Yeah, Chris, linen season is here. I wore a linen blazer to dinner a few nights ago in the warm California sun. But, you know, you got that Italy trip coming up this summer and quality European linen pants and shirts. Upgrade that look starting at just $34. You know, if you get a nice linen suit, a little t-shirt underneath it, some chill shoes, you're looking good, but you're staying cool. The inside of your special areas are nice and dry as you turn up with your besties. So elevate that summer wardrobe. Go to quince.com slash how long for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns, even on a nice holiday now available in Canada. That is Q-U-I-N-C-E dot com slash how long. That'll get you free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince punto com slash how long. Oh, this is huge for me personally. This episode of How I'm Gone is brought to you by TaskRabbit. Oh, baby, let me tell you something. This is this is not a joke. I use TaskRabbit a lot because I can't do anything. You need some art hung? TaskRabbit. You need a fucking something put together, a cabinet. Got to reach that cheese grater on the top shelf? TaskRabbit. Anything you need, TaskRabbit can take care of it for you. And, I mean, how it works, TaskRabbit connects you with skilled taskers in your area. They can help you move. They can assemble furniture. repairs, yard work, mounting, and more. You can search for a Tasker based on cost, skill set, availability, and past client reviews so you know exactly who's showing up and can have confidence that they know what they're doing because Taskers have assembled over 3.4 million pieces of furniture, completed 700,000 home repairs, handled 1.5 million moves, and the numbers are just going up, Jason. Yeah, throw a little money at the problem. It's not so expensive, and that job that you really don't want to do is something that another person out in the world,

is very good at doing and would gladly do it in exchange for a little bit of money. So when life happens, your to-do list grows. Get ahead of it now and get $15 off your first task at TaskRabbit.com or grab the TaskRabbit app using promo code HOWLONG. Taskers book up. faster, especially for same-day tasks. So book Trusted Home Help today. That is $15 off your first task using promo code HowLong with the TaskRabbit app or at TaskRabbit.com. I'm stressing, actually, right now. Oh, shit. What are you stressing? I'm super stressed. I was just checking my flight, and I had this flight at 12.50 a.m., and I thought it was like... Tonight, 12.50 a.m.? But it was like 12.50 a.m. of earlier. 12 hours ago? Not in 12 hours? Brian, this kind of thing has happened to me before where I got very confused. I think I was leaving like Dubai or something where flights leave just like all night long. Do you need us to get on the phone with the Delta representative and get this sorted? No, I'll figure it out. I'm always getting myself into some kind of hijinks. I mean, you don't become a million miler without breaking a few eggs, right? No, definitely not. And expensive. With the eggs, the cost of eggs now. Yeah, the avian flu is coming up by Delta Miles. Where are you going? I'm going to The Hague to play a show. I'm just stressed. I got to sit right now. Lay it on us. Let us help you. Don't you have a staff? A staff. Yeah, you got management, booking agent. Yeah, but it's not like that. They're not like my... You're saying it's life stuff. It's Brian stuff. No, no, it's a little bit of both. You know what I mean? Trouble seeps in everywhere. Dude, you're telling me. I'm a leaky faucet right here. It'd be seeping. Do you have on your desk at home just two piles that says Brian and Python? It's like, that's my Brian stuff. That's my Python stuff.

I mean, I can show you guys my nice thing when it's bad. It's just like angels and vitamins and medication. This is my vibe. That's a nice boudoir, actually. Yeah, it is nice, right? So it's all of your sense. I tried to restore it. Look how bad of a job. Okay. You saw some restoration TikToks. That's not the best job I've ever seen. I didn't see any powder residue or anything. It's clean. It's clean. We're not that. We haven't fallen that far yet, Chris. I don't know what happens in Ridgewood. I don't know what happens out there. I do not know. Not much, really. I don't know either. Every time I walk around, there's a new shop. But is it, like, white people stuff? Yeah, it's the same developers as Greenpoint. Okay. It's the same people who develop Greenpoint. So we'll be able to get a nice piece of, a nice ceramic and some almond milk and stuff like that, no problem. Okay. Yeah, are any of the new shops that are opening up ones that you're, like, stoked about? Or is it all just bullshit that you're never going to go to? Like, they got a Raising Cane's in there or some shit? What's Raising Cane's? It's a chicken tender restaurant. You never heard of it? It's like Chick-fil-A, but better. No, no, I've never heard of it. There must be some West Coast Steve's. They have them in New York, but you don't really seem like the kind of guy who's eating fast food, though, right? I try to stay away. Same, bro. I know you try. We all try, but when you slip up, where do you go? Popeyes. Honestly, even as a person who doesn't eat chicken, that appeals to me when I see it in the airport if I'm down on my luck. You know what I mean? Yeah. Popeye's is delicious. If I'm down on my luck and I get a sniff of that when I'm rolling through Terminal C. Get you a biscuit with some grape jelly on that, huh? I love a fucking biscuit with grape. That's my culture. That's literally my culture. My fat-ass culture. Growing up, I would have Chick-fil-A plain biscuits. You got grape all over on your shirt and shit when you were a kid? I got grape stains in my closet right now. Don't test me. That's an awful lot of grape.

Awful lot of grape jelly. I'm only this many. Sorry, go ahead, go ahead. No, I love it. I love biscuits, though. I could talk about biscuits for 45 minutes. I mean, it's one of the greatest things we have. It's the classic, like, you miss your flight in Dubai because of, like, a time error. And then you're stressed, and you go to the airport, and you're like, I deserve a treat. So you smell Popeyes. You're like, I'm going to have Popeyes in Dubai. This is kind of, like, novel. Yeah, that's it. It is novel. See, for me, when I make a mistake like that, I usually just hit the Prada store, get a little something. You know what I mean? Make me feel better. A little light. Something light. A wallet. Card holder. Something for the boat. Yeah, something light. Keychain. You know what I mean? Nothing crazy. Nothing crazy. Have you ever DJed in Dubai or have you had any offers for any like... No. Abu Dhabi. Okay. Okay, that's like Blood Diamond adjacent. Did you do it? No, it was too far. Because the bread wasn't right. The bread wasn't right. The bread was not right at all, bro. I don't want you guys to clown my dirty socks. No, no. It's good, bro. Socks are meant to be used. You know what I mean? Yeah, you're doing kind of like a Depop pose right now. Like, I want to buy those socks, but don't wash them, King. Yeah, you're selling feet pics right now. A little bit. Oops, I forgot. I didn't mean to post those. So did you figure out the flight stuff? Did you, like, get on the horn with Delta Diamond Service and get through it? No, bro. I literally just realized it, like, a minute before we got on the thing. Okay, so just to be clear, you thought you were leaving tonight at 1250, but it was last night at 1250. Yeah, so it was, like, this morning. When is the gig? Tomorrow. I'll get there, bro. I'll get there. Oh, you're good. All right. All right. I'm, like, I'm just, like... You have those moments where you're like, damn, I'm still this dumb. You know what I mean? Happens to me every day, bro. Happens to me every day. It's crazy. With travel stuff, I find myself sometimes...

just discombobulated to the point where i could make errors you know what i mean where i'm like i don't yeah i don't kind of don't know where i am i've been going too long my brain just things stop working the same way after a certain amount of it you're in different times i want to be on my ronnie fee global citizen global citizen like every time i pass through you know how he like posts his sneakers wallet like whatever he has to put into the security thing and the And you know he's got the TSA pre-check. Oh, you know he's got pre-check. He's got pre-check. He's still taking off the Nike cow dunks just to flex. He doesn't even have to take those off. Bro, you already know I got TSA pre-check. I'm a mogul, bro. I got pre-check. I mean, I would like to see that kind of content from you, actually. I think that would be a good, as a world traveler, I think a lot of people would like to see your vape and your laptop. My vape on my lap. And a bucket. I want to see what kind of hard drive you have, bro. Well, do you ever, like, because both of you guys travel all the time, tons of flights every month, and you're always, like, trying to make it all work, and you mentioned getting discombobulated. Sometimes when it's just going so crazy, when you get the flight cancellation or you fuck it up somehow, does it ever feel kind of good or like a release, you know what I mean? No. No, it always feels bad. For me, it always feels bad. I mean, this just happened and I thought I was going to feel relief once I checked into the Ritz-Carlton after my flight was canceled. I was like, this is going to be great. I'm going to take a nice long shower. I'm going to brush my teeth. I'm going to put a robe on. And I just felt shitty the whole time. And I was pissed off. Sometimes it feels like a hard reset that you didn't know you needed kind of thing. Like somebody just putting you in timeout. Like you're just going to sit here for four hours. That happened to me when I, after a lot of travel, left the contacts in the back of the cab. And I was like, this is fucked up because I don't drink. Like this happens to people who are drunken on drugs. This shouldn't happen to me just because I'm like out of sorts.

You know what I mean? Yeah, you guys are two sober forgetful kings is what I'm learning. Yeah, very forgetful, dude. Super forgetful. I got a text from when I came back from LA, Jason, after we DJed. I sat next to this guy named Izzy. The guy who used to manage Kanye that manages Arcade Fire? No, what? How many Izzy's are there? A middle-aged black dude, he was going on a cruise with his boys. And then we started talking a bunch. And he was like, oh yeah, I'm only stopping over in New York. I've never been here. I've never been to New York before. And I was like, bro, take my number. I was like, come here this summer. And this was like, this was a week ago. And he wrote me this morning. And I was like, who the fuck is Izzy? But what he wrote me back was so funny. Like, hold on. He's like, hey, man, I'm downstairs. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's like, hey, buddy, sorry for the delay in getting back to you, but just got back home yesterday from the cruise. I hope all is well with you. Also, I look forward to the possibility of hooking up and visiting New York, maybe in the spring or summer. Yeah, planting the seed. Izzy planting the seed. Hold on, hold on. I need to get a little more info on Izzy when he says hooking up. He means hanging out. He doesn't mean a little jail or anything. We don't know. We don't know. I don't know yet, but I was like, no, we have an extra room you can stay in. But what's going on a cruise? I don't know, dude. I'm not like a... Look, going on a cruise with the boys sounds gay coded to me. Yeah, it does sound gay coded. I'm not an air reader, dude. You have to be direct. If he wants to fuck you, I'm looking forward to coming to New York and we'll fuck and then you can show me around. Did he mention if the cruise had any foam going on? Is it a foam cruise? Because that could be a tell. No, no. He says like an island hopping cruise. Okay. Honestly, maybe the three of us should go on a cruise. I think that would create some great experiences for all three of us. I think if we hit Aruba. It would be nice to book a DJ tour and we travel from port to port via boat.

That's nice. And on the boat the whole time. Yeah. And then all the toxic gays will be on the pier waving us in like, hey, guys, we're ready to fucking booth tonight. You can park right here. I think that cruises are one of the final front. Like I my friend went on like what I would consider the nicest cruise I've ever seen in my life. And I had like an amazing gym. It was so sick. And he said it was amazing. And I still like I don't think I could do it. I just don't think I could do it. You could do it if GQ paid for it and you wrote a story about it. No, that's what this would be. Someone would definitely invite me and I would go, but it feels scary to me, honestly. I feel like my claustrophobia would creep in. Of course. It's a very weird thing. Have you been on one before? I went on one once with my girlfriend from high school because her dad won some. some competition or something like that. So we got to go, but it was just for a day. It was in Miami, like to one Island. And then we just went, came back. Did you, Oh, so you didn't have your own room. It was just a day party. I think I lost my virginity on that. Oh, okay. So you just, you went from Port of Miami, Epstein's Island, and then back and you were able to pop that little cherry. No, no, no, no. I was with. I was with my girlfriend. No, no, it was my girlfriend. She went to a different school, but she was of age. She's hot as hell, bro. She did go to a different school, actually. But it was like, we just inserted and then we're like, wait, wait, no, not yet. And that was it. And I didn't consider it virginity loss. And then later we had full sex, like a month later. I was like, oh, cool, we just both lost our virginity. And then she was like, oh i think we lost it on the cruise and i was like that's debatable yeah it was debatable you don't want to argue you don't want to argue with her because you wanted to do it again but you were like well i don't know if that counts yeah yeah exactly yeah you don't want to get a body on a technicality you want it to be a fair yeah fair body what was your what was your uh vibe in high school if you don't mind me asking i i can't imagine it really that was really weird because i moved oh you're one of the yeah you had a displacement i moved from new york to miami so

When I was in high school, no one knew who I was. They weren't familiar with your swag yet. No, no, no. Dude, I used to get clowned on so hard, bro. It was insane. Were you coming down on your New York shit? Were you acting like French Montana? No, no, no, dude. I always will remain humble. I've always been humble. And will continue to remain humble. You kept it like Jadakiss. Yeah, you're like Jadakiss. Drinking juice, doing pull-ups. I was really into hardcore. And I was seen. You know what I mean? So I'd wear youth large shirts. But then I would also wear crazy vape beanies. Stuff like that. All the black kids in my class would always be like, yo, yo, yo, lift up your arms. And I would lift up my arms. And if you could see my belly, they'd be like, yo, that boy gay. That boy gay as hell. He got a belly shirt on. He got a little belly shirt showing. So you got a little snap case crop top on. Yeah, and have, like, a Blood Brothers, like, you know, like, crop top youth large on, and then, like, girl American Eagle jeans. Dude, I could, now that you're saying this, I can fully... You dress the exact same today, though, right? Yeah, I kind of do dress exactly the same. And then the pants were so tight, they'd always be like, oh, that boy got a mandingo. that boy mandingo remember like the black porn star with like the huge dick mandingo of course i like i like this low-key flex right now i like this hey i mean that's kanye's sniffy's name dude that's really fun okay but so was your girlfriend in high school was she into the same like was she into the same stuff was she listening to the blood brothers as well no i don't know she liked like little wayne but she was like she was just very sweet She was a very good influence in my life, I gotta say. She'd be like, let's go to the park and draw, Brian. Let's go read. Reading is dope. Stuff like that. She was really sweet. So she rounded out your hardcore edges and turned you into the person you are today? I was really bad, besides her.

Were you shoplifting? Were you slashing tires? Partying? What kind of bat are we talking about? Maybe we killed an animal. No, I wasn't a spaceship. I was Machiavellian. I was a salesman. I was a Machiavellian salesman. What were you selling, if you don't mind me asking? The meaning of life he was selling. Exactly. She was sweet. Then I grew up and I I, like, started going to therapy and stuff, and I stopped being Machiavellian. Congratulations on the growth. Do you still talk? Do you know what's up with her today? She got married to the guy. She lives in L.A., and she got married to the guy she started dating right after me and who lived, like, five houses down from me. And it used to drive me insane to see her car in the driveway. It's always the other motherfucker. We can go beat his ass. Jason's in LA. You can send him out right now. What's her at though? What's her at? It's her last name backwards. I'm not going to put her on blast. She's very sweet. She did break my heart, though. That's mature of you, though. I didn't know that you did a stint in Miami as a teen. That's an interesting place to be. Yeah, it was crazy. Miami is so fried, dude. That's why I'm kind of fried, I think. When people go to Miami, they're like, oh, okay. It makes sense. Because you go from New York to Miami, and they're like, put down the book and pick up this lizard. And you're like, this is not forward motion for my development. Yeah, yeah, exactly. No shade to Miami. I love Miami, but it's definitely fried. I mean, that's the whole point, I think. That's the appeal of it for a lot of people. There's a part of me that kind of wants to retire there in an Iggy Pop kind of way. Because I feel like there's low-key, like the Glendale of Miami kind of chill neighborhoods.

with like some spanish dope-ass houses and you just like coconut grove yeah coconut coconut grove is back that's where i grew up on the grove oh you grew yeah coconut grove is the best but i think i think it is just one of those neighborhoods that went through like a 10-year downturn where there was like a steak and shake and like a shitty grocery store and now it's like there's a hot girl organic market. It's just happening. There's ad agencies where the mall used to be. It's a different vibe. There was Sony Music Latin America. I remember Sony Music Latin America being on a corner. I was always like, this ain't Latin America, bro. It pretty much is, though. Well, that's what I learned when I started spending more time in there. I was like, oh, this is crazy, especially in like Key Biscayne. They don't speak English. They speak Spanish first. Yeah, first, all the time. And some people just straight up can't speak English. It's mad. And I'm like, look at me. You know I can't speak Spanish. Look at me. Nah, bro. What are you talking about? You look Cuban. You could pass off as a Cuban. That is no one has ever said. A little bit. Really? You know, when you get the tan going, Chris, if you wore like a little chain, there could be signs. I could sing. You also have like a latinx bravado. you have you have you have the latinx latinx bravado is is like a guy you'd hear on like a jim jones album cut like the fourth feature oh yeah i'm fly gang it's a very chinks drugs kind of it is that's it that's a really good name that's a really good name latinx bravado do you really think chris has a latinx bravado yeah because i don't really know if i could disagree about anything more Really? I think he has a, I mean. No shade, no shade, but he's a crack ass cracker. No, I think he has like a latinx, masculine, self-confident energy. Thank you. I'll take it. Machismo. I'll take it however I can get it. Traditional, you know, in a specific way, you know? Yeah, that's right. Yeah, women's place is the kitchen. Yeah, I know what you mean. You're also chivalrous. Very chivalrous. Oh, yeah, I'm going to open the door. You know what I'm saying? I'm going to open the door. I'm going to pay. This reputation precedes Chris.

Because I was like, man, that guy is always opening doors. Yeah, but paying the bill is not a Latinx trait, though. Paying the bill is not a Latinx trait. I'd be trying to weasel out of it. What the fuck does that mean? What does that mean? No, I got something in me, dog. I can say it. He found out he was 1% Native American, and now he's claiming every race possible. And a Native American homie has to go to the bathroom when the check comes at Mother Wolf. You already know what it is. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, my God. Oh, no, no. Because you are paying the bill on stolen land right now. I just want you guys to know that. Never forget that. Never forget that. Never forget that. So we were DJing, that was last week, right? For your record release party. We're all loving the record. Carolyn is bumping it. I just did a... I picked one of the songs and made a radio station out of it yesterday for dinner. Oh, yeah? It was nice. It was good. Even Chris likes it, and he doesn't listen to... I do like it. And I listen to it on my own accord, you know, because I'm a fan of you as a guy. So I was like, let me check out what this guy does on the decks. And I do quite like it. Oh, thanks, guys. Thank you. I do quite like it. And we were saying in the intro that it's nice to see you... kind of do the uh the next level of of media promo and like doing like the pitchfork videos and doing some video content and in interviews and things like that yeah because i feel like that wasn't what you were doing not too long ago i'm kind of shy bro i gotta say but you know i know but like i'm sort of excited because i know that you see this stuff and you think about it and you're a smart guy so i'm like it's interesting to see how you are going to handle when you do the subway takes or when you do when you go on the john mulaney show or whatever it is you know you go on something like that because i just want to see what you're going to do you know thanks guys i don't know i mean you learn from you guys you know that we talked about this last time that the boys got to support each other i'm loving seeing you guys grow you know hey that's great i was saying i was saying i want you guys to host the oscars that's what i want for you guys

This episode of How Long Gone is brought to you by a new podcast from The Guardian stateside with Kai and Carter. This is covering a lot of our bases, Jason. It's trying to slow down. The news and wrestle with the questions we all have about what's happening in the world. And I know you particularly have quite a lot of questions. A lot of questions. But how often? Because we do this podcast three times a week and that's a sweet spot. How many times do they do? Three times a week. And I have a feeling just based on the platform and these talking points that they're maybe going to be covering different stuff than we do. That's just a guess. The Guardian is not some billionaire owned. They're not afraid to say what they want to say, brother. Yeah, Rupert ain't sniffing around in what journalists Kai Wright and Carter Sherman are up to over there at Stateside. But yeah, listen wherever you get your podcasts. You can watch it on YouTube. It's three times a week. And who couldn't use more news? Especially when it's not from here, let's say. Give it a listen. Give it a listen. Hi, Talk House Network listeners. It's your old friend, Nels Klein, from Wilco here. Wilco is touring this summer, and we'd love to see you somewhere on the road. We're playing shows this June and July in Rochester Hills, Michigan, Chautauqua, New York, Lafayette, New York, Bethlehem, Pennsylvania, Vienna, Virginia, Forest Hills, New York, Portland, Maine, Tulsa, Oklahoma, Memphis, Tennessee, LaGrange, Georgia, Charleston. South Carolina, Virginia Beach, Virginia, Wheeling, West Virginia, and Columbus, Ohio. Plus, there are even more dates, some with Willie Nelson that I didn't even mention here. So please go to wilkoworld.net to see the full list of dates. We'll see you on the road this summer. Study and play. Come together on a Windows 11 PC. And for a limited time, college students get the best of both worlds. Get the Unreal College deal. Everything you need to study and play with select Windows 11 PCs. Eligible students get a year of Microsoft 365 Premium and a year of Xbox Game Pass Ultimate with a custom color Xbox wireless controller. Learn more at windows.com slash student offer. While supplies last, ends June 30th. Terms at aka.ms slash college PC. Yeah, I was saying that too, Brian. Yeah, trust me. I think the only people saying that are on this Zoom right now.

We're starting small. Hopefully we can twist some arms. We'll get going with a BAFTA or an AFI awards first. We could beast in the underground, release a couple singles. Directors Guild. I don't give a fuck. I don't even know who these guys are, but I can give them an award. I would love to do it, of course. I can see you guys doing the Oscars. I think it's going to happen. I think the Oscars, I think the only thing we'd have going for is that we could cut them a good deal. You know what I mean, Jason? We could be like, look, I know he wants half a million. We'll do it for $100,000 at a limo. I'll do it for scale. I'll just do it for the look. For the look? I host the Oscars just for exposure. I just host the Oscars. You're just humble. Yours is humble, bro. Super humble guy. Super humble. They said I have to post on Grid, but it's chill, honestly. I did this panel yesterday, Jason, and it was for agency nerds, and it was at Webster Hall, and it was very surreal, but they cut us off because it's a union. Like, they were like, you have to, like, this is the allotted time, and it, like, started late, and the union guys, I was like, this is fucking crazy. Like, how do these union, like, how is everything union in that world? Like, the Oscars, I bet if you put down your champagne glass, you can't pick it back up because the union got it. Right, right, right, right. I just couldn't believe, I didn't know the union was that strong during the day, I guess. I thought it was more of a nighttime thing. Okay, so this was, this was like three o'clock. On a Wednesday at Webster Hall. 11.30 a.m. at downstairs. There's two stages at Webster Hall. Stages being chairs and microphones. You know what I mean? But I was just like, yeah, they just like shuffled us off there after like 20 minutes of our allotted whatever, like 30 or 40. And I was like, oh, yeah, this place is expensive to rent because they got the cops in here. The vibe is just all wrong, if you ask me there. Vibe is all wrong. But it's cool because, Brian, you get to play in all these cool independent. thoughtful, inclusive venues, you don't really have to deal with union guys and girls. Wait, are union guys evil now? No, no, no. We've played Webster Hall a few times and you look at the P&L and you're like...

union makes everything basically union makes you make a lot less money as a performer we don't think unions are evil we will joke about it but like it's more of like we we've talked about when you go from like spending your life in like indie venues and nightclubs and things like that right and then you you move up to the next level where you're doing like theaters that have you know historical sites and unions and all that stuff And how it just kind of, when you level up, it just sucks all the fun and everything out of it. And there's just rules and regulations and fees and just so much corporate bullshit. They really want us to get there at 3 p.m. for a sound check. You know, that kind of shit. They can't believe it. They're professional. You're just like, you can't stand there, walk there, use that. But there's a certain kind of person that works in that industry. that takes themselves very seriously and to that i say yeah i'm sorry sir or ma'am but you don't get paid enough money to take yourself seriously yeah yeah i just i don't want the backstage of like uh run the jewels show to be run like the white house you know yeah yeah yeah yeah we're just cool bro we're here to chill and enjoy the show yeah that's all yeah but you play freak stuff you're playing like a like a warehouse you're playing a cave in mallorca they ain't got no unions there bro yeah sometimes freak stuff and then sometimes more organized stuff but would you say that the freak stuff is like secretly very well organized and they like pay on time and shit and it just looks crazy or is it sometimes pretty like dude no hatched together no one pays on time bro but i thought with djs i thought with djs you'd leave that night with a check or cash no they wire that shit no they wire dude honestly i feel like i feel like the bigger the company the longer it takes to get paid most of the time for sure for sure yeah yeah yeah because they're like what are you gonna do about it i literally always thought that was the whole fun of djing is that you left with the money that night i'm sure it was like that that's how it used to be when it was like cash at the door and you had actual money to pay everyone out yeah but now you know people buy their tickets on four websites three months yeah you know prior and it's just yeah sorry we can't we can't pay you until we get paid and it just goes down the line forever it takes do you play it like you do crazy shit though you play it like

4 a.m. to 6 a.m. and shit right yeah a lot of the time which is not not my vibe i don't understand how people i've talked to jason about this a lot like i don't understand do you just have to live a completely different lifestyle like you have to you know what i mean like every single thing kind of has to be different what do you mean like if if you have to play from 3 a.m. to 6 a.m. how how do you manage your caffeine intake and your sleep and all the stuff that like you have to dude i'm just tired of i'm just tired i think it's that's that's really it i just feel like those those time those to me those time slots are like you're playing specifically for like professional drug users who are like yeah pretty much you know i'm gonna plan my shit around this insane time schedule because you know i'm so good at doing drugs i'm trying to do this new combo trick where i do this at four and this at noon and you know blah blah blah yeah and you know if they're willing to pay you to do it yeah i mean it's kind of It's just kind of good to be tired because then I can kind of feel like I'm on drugs. You know what I mean? Like in an auto-erotic asphyxiation kind of way? Exactly what I was thinking. Be careful. Be careful, Brian. I don't want to hear about you in a belt and a fan, okay? Let's keep it above board. So this is like a good, clean, fair head change. Just being delirious from sleep deprivation, you get a little buzz is what you're saying. Yeah, I think so. And then just all those spaces are so unnatural. to be in so often i mean you know how it is well you also get the adrenaline you also get the adrenaline hit you know what i mean yeah like being sort of tired but sort of pumped up and like you know that's that's a fun feeling yeah and then there's people that's why i try not to drink caffeine because it's like afterwards you're just like like it takes you're not you're not you don't have the 64 ounce of celsius behind the dj booth definitely not you don't have the club mate no

This is impressive. I have to say, this is impressive. This is the smartest approach I've heard to this. No, because then you get home and you can't sleep, bro. You know what I mean? And then what am I going to go do? Lay in a hotel room at 7 in the morning? Yeah, you can't just do an ashwagandha line and get your head straight. It don't work like that. Exactly, bro. Exactly. So you would dream come true, your ideal situation. What time does the party start? What time does it end? And what time do you play? It'd be cool if people could actually have fun like 12 to 2. You know? Like just be drunk and high already then. Just, like, just get to it a little bit earlier. That was my, when I used to party, I'd start doing coke at 9 p.m. Like, I want to get this shit over with. Like, I don't need to be up till the sunrise. But I guess that this is, the whole thing is it has to go, like, all night. That's, like, the deal. Well, I mean, like, with, like, dance music, like, attendees, like, you'll hear people, like, you know, Bergheim, like, in Berlin? Yeah, of course. Like, have you ever heard anyone be like, oh, man, I saw the sickest DJ there? It was amazing. It's always like, I was at Burgheim. No, they only say, I was at Burgheim for like 14 hours, bro. That's actually true. No, you're absolutely right. Yeah, they never say like, wow, you know, Jason changed my life. They never are like, wow, Peggy Goo did such a beautiful set. They're more like, I peed on that guy, I peed on that guy, and I peed on that guy. Exactly. I held up the wall at Panorama Bar for six hours because I thought I was a person, but otherwise it was pretty fun. I mean, that's a really good point, and you're absolutely right. I've never heard anyone mention who has played at Bergheim. As many stories I've heard about going there, I've never heard that. Yeah, it's always about marathoning. People love marathon partying and staying up. Yeah, what are they running from? Yeah, I mean, have you DJed at Bergheim during the day, like a 10 a.m. type shit? I don't know.

I refuse to DJ Berkheim, bro. Oh, I didn't know that about you. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like pre, pre, pre the political stuff. Wait, what's the political stuff? I don't think I'm familiar. Cause they're German, you know, so they're like kind of Zionist. Oh, they're bad. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know. I don't know. I'm, I'm pretty tapped out, but, uh, you just were like, I ain't doing this. Yeah. I think there, there may be a little more Israel and a little less Palestine. Yeah. I think as well, something like that. And I think they were like, this is all hearsay, but I think they were like, stopping booking like really pro pal like vocally pro palestine djs oh wow really so now we're kind of being like all like i thought you were gonna say they weren't letting gay people and i was like well that's they're fucked as long as they're white let it mean yeah like i don't know what you're i don't know there's not a lot of people you can i mean you know you need them okay you know what i'm not gonna play bergheim either yeah yeah but you were saying no you were just like i don't think this is cool i don't want to do it well I don't like the door policy thing of, like, being like, he's cool, he's not, she's cool, she's not. Like, I don't like that. And then also, like, it's, like, sonically limiting. Like, you're like, it sounds like this in here all the time, so play like this. you know what i mean oh oh i see like there's a dictated sound for every space in the club yes exactly which like i'm because you want to you want to ride the rainbow you want to play whatever you want all night you don't want to be yeah me and jason we like to have fun bro yeah you know what i mean it's not that serious yeah you can't really you can't play santeria in bergheim they're gonna have an issue but that's also bergheim doesn't feel like a place you go to have fun like you're saying you go there to do fucked up stuff and stay up as late as you can You know what I mean? Or you just go there to get in. Yeah, and be able to tell your friends you went. That's true. That's a good point. Which is also something that I'm not into. An accolade I'm not looking for. I've always wondered this, but do you feel like you can take it anywhere you want most nights when you're playing? Or do you think a promoter is going to come up and be like, hey bro, nah. It's more like the crowds, bro.

Some crowds take dance music so seriously. I don't know. You can't really have that much fun with it. I try not to associate people like that, but I'm sure they exist. A lot of people are not into whimsy on the dance floor. Which is ridiculous. You're literally dancing. It's one of the most whimsical things you can do. Yeah. It's also called a party. Yeah, and it's called a party, yeah. But I think there's a lot of people on the dark side of EDM where you see them dancing to techno with no smile on their face and it's sort of like an ultramarathon runner who doesn't want to be running. Like, if I don't dance like this, I will kill my family. It's like that kind of energy. Yeah, yeah. Which is not good. Yeah, and I mean, I guess you can't get into a headspace of somewhere weird, but I don't know, man. I just want people to have wholesome fun. You know what I mean? Yeah, no, I think you have the best attitude I've ever heard, honestly. And Jason, I know, has a similar attitude. I'm sure that's why you guys can play together and it's easy and it's fun. But I've always, I just think that, yeah, there's a level of seriousness. I don't even know what genre means. Genre? I don't know her. I've never met her. Yeah, I search it on Google and it says no results found. I just feel like people do take that shit. As an outsider, I do feel like... I've seen people take it so seriously, and I'm like, are you joking? Yeah. No, I think they're serious, dude. They're definitely. I mean, people take everything too seriously, though. That's one of the problems with our society in general. I completely agree, dude. I just want people to let loose, be themselves. We're going to die. Make mistakes, make splites, dude. It's fine. It's totally fine. It's not the end of the world. A Delta representative is going to sort me out. Yeah, the kindest lady. They're so nice, dude. They really are so nice. No, here, let me tell you my trick that I've revealed on this podcast before, but the trick when dealing with customer service is if you don't like the vibe, hang up and try again. Oh, yeah, no. You know what I mean? If you get on with somebody and they're just not giving you what you want, you just hang up and keep calling back so you find somebody cool. No, it's so true, dude. It's so true. I had to do this last week because I wanted to change my plate.

In LA, so I could sleep a little bit longer. You just keep tapping refresh until you get a baddie. Yeah. Exactly. Chat roulette style. I had a guy really go to the mat for me, and I was like, bro, I know you're in a call center in Austin, but I would love to tip you if I could. Yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure. Some people really do go. Some people are so nice. They're good at their jobs. When people are good at their jobs, they don't think of it as going an extra mile. They're just like, this is what I do all day. I guess that's the only place where you can still get good service. What? Delta? Is the Delta Diamond Line? Delta Diamond Line, honestly, American Express service can be pretty good, too. I was talking about this with Carolyn. The last few flights that we've been on, granted, in first class and in main cabin, Like the flight attendants really are not giving a positive energy, no smiles. It's really just kind of like. I feel like I'm in a juvenile detention center. They're just like throwing bags of chips at you. I think it's bad over at Delta right now, I think. I think they're very understaffed and overwhelmed. We're going through it right now. I would prefer that, Jason. I don't like a bubbly, chatty... I would like, hand me the sparkling water, keep it moving, sis. I don't need to chit-chat. But I know what you mean. Sometimes they come up to me and talk too much about like... oh my god you fly i'm like yeah i fly a lot i'm sure you have people on every flight that are doing triple what i'm doing like why are you yeah i don't want the handwritten note like leave me alone because you're not you're a baddie because you're not wearing a suit you're not wearing a suit and you're about it that's so they're like this guy this guy's obviously yeah you're like the tony board podcast and you're like who are you oh i just want to i just want a cold beer and some noodles man i just got to go find it you know i just got to go find it he's not even wearing a watch Yeah, I would get you like that. Why are you this? Yeah, I mean, your ass is getting more upgrades than Chris probably, so they see you. For sure.

And you've got your cat ear headphones on and you're like, who the fuck is this? I could see somebody thinking you're maybe like a child actor. A child actor. Is that the guy from Malcolm in the Middle? I guess he did make good money. I think that could be you. You're the fourth McCulkin. You give a successful aura that people are going to question where that comes from. Maybe, dude. I think I give the opposite. I give an unsuccessful aura like, how the fuck is this guy thinking? I think it's more that. Why is this guy... He looks too nice to be a drug dealer. I don't know if it could be that. He's not an MMA fighter. I checked his ears. No cauliflower. I don't know what he does. Do you bust out the laptop and work on your set and shit? Or do you try to read a book or watch a movie? I try to read a sleep, dude. I hate planes so much. It's insane how much I hate planes. I feel like you don't watch TV at all, right? I do not watch TV at all. I think it's a red flag, dude. That is a red spot. I got in an argument with friends about this in LA. In the Raya profile, it's the hands crossed emoji and the TV. No, because I was like, if you... If you watch TV, keep scrolling. If you know what's going on with White Lotus right now, you don't have anything going on. Honestly, as a person who watches TV but doesn't like White Lotus, I am. Why have they made it so lame? Like, why has that show in particular made it so uncool to like it? It's crazy. I don't know, man, because people talk about it too much. It's like for me on TV, I'm just like, bro, you're bored. I mean, I just like do something else. I mean, no offense. You're right. You're absolutely right. You're absolutely right. I mean, I think the thing is that people, a lot of people don't like their day to day and they get home and White Lotus is all they have.

That's why I'm saying it's red flag vibes. I do this with soccer or whatever. So I can talk to every dude when I'm traveling. I try to keep up with soccer. You follow football because it's a global sport. It's like the weather for men. You're honestly kind of right. See what Arsenal's up to and they're like, oh, he's not gay. Yeah, literally. But do you love the game or do you really do it as more of a function? No, it's more of a function, dude. Soccer's for Europeans. If you're like an American who likes soccer, bro. Man, I didn't know we had so much in common. That's a red flag. That's a red flag. Yeah, dude. Especially if that's the only sport you like. I'm just like, you're a snob, bro. You're just a snob. Also, if you're American and you call it football, take that shit somewhere else. You don't have to do that. They're only doing it so they can drink before breakfast. Exactly. Some shit like that. It's something mad pretentious about it. No other Americans care about it, but they know about it. If you're an immigrant family... you know like this is your culture yeah for sure i mean when i when i talk to british people about soccer it's cool because it's like i don't understand any of the words they're saying really but they're so passionate about it that it's still engaging to talk about yeah you know yeah and there's like history and like yeah like there's like so much politic involved with it like same thing with like italian soccer when i was living in milan it was like if you support this team like your families probably were fascists. Oh, it's like that deep. It's that deep. Yeah, it's that deep. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So that's cool. It's like Yankee's mess. Yeah. With more fascism. Who is the fascist and who is the anti-fascist? I guess the Yankees are fascists. Yeah, I would say. If you've got to pick one out of the two. Yeah, yeah. They have the haircut rule. Do they still have that rule?

I think I literally just read that they got rid of that rule. The buzz cut rule. No facial hair and you had to have a buzz cut. Shave those sideburns, Mattingly. That's just the army at that point. That's like I'm going to basic training, but I'm a millionaire. That's crazy. If I drive an Aston Martin to the field, you ain't telling me how to cut my hair. Speaking of sick-ass vehicles, I know you're a motorcycle guy. And I was watching a complete unknown, and I would watch Timothee Chalamet as Bob Dylan driving his motorcycle from New York to Rhode Island with his chick on the back, no helmets, just an 11-hour motorcycle ride or whatever. And I imagined you to sort of be a Bob Dylan of EDM. traveling from town to town on your motorbike. Dude, I've always wanted to tour you up just on the motorbike and USB. Just a motorbike and USB. That is cool as hell. You have a backpack on and a fucking helmet and that's it? That's all you need. It's so funny when people are like, my friends will come with me to a show and they're like, do you need to test your stuff? And I'm like, my stuff is a fucking thumb drive, dude. Like, no. My stuff is literally a keychain for most people. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, it's a keychain with like a... Does the play button work? All right, we're good. Yeah, yeah. When you lived in Milan, were you like motorbike only? Nah, dude, because I couldn't get a license. Was it hard? It just takes time. You would have to have been a citizen to get insurance and all this stuff. How long did you live in Milan? Like nine or ten months. Okay. I really like it there. I'm going next week. I love it there. I've always loved it. I love that you love it. We are kind of mad similar because everyone fucking hates Milan. People are like that. I'm like, if I have to go to Italy, I would rather go to Milan than any coastal or like historic. Everyone's dripping in a nice way. I love it. No, everybody's dripping. I love the beauty of the Duomo in the morning and the evening.

Like, it's actually so pretty. Like, the way that people talk about Paris, and how I feel that about Milan, like, the way it looks. I agree, dude, because, like, I think, like, people like Paris because it flows, because everything kind of looks the same. You know, Milan's, like, hella bombed out, and then there's, like, the crazy brutalist shit, and now there's, like, they're building, like, the hyper-modern stuff for, like... Towers and shit. Yeah, before the Olympics or whatever. So it's cool, because when you walk, like, it's... You almost see, like, the passage of time, like, in every... Yeah, no, for sure. Yeah, for sure. No, no, it's all represented. Yeah, yeah. Why did you go? Did you go there just because you liked it? Dude, I wasn't living anywhere. I was like, damn, I got to find a place in Europe. And I just started my tour, and I didn't have anywhere to live. I needed a home because I wasn't living anywhere. Yeah, no, and then, like, I had my friend Daniele, and then, like, he introduced me to his friends. And then they were like, Brian, you are so nice. You must move here. You must come and live with us in Milan. Okay. Can't argue with that, fellas. Sounds good, guys. And I was like, I'm down, I'm down. And then 30 minutes later, my friend, I think Asner or Bill came and was just like, Brian, I found you a place beautiful in Loreto, right here, 600 euro a month in the home of Lucio Fontana. I lived in, like, Lucio Fontana's old house. You know, the guy who, like, did, like, the slits and the canvas? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Architect guy? 600 a month. You moved to Milan because you didn't have a place to live and some guys suggested it to you, basically. Yeah, pretty much. But it was sick. They made it easy for you, too. They made it very easy. But you needed to live in Europe because every weekend you were bopping to a different city to do a show. So you weren't really, like, posted up that long. No, no. So why are you in New York now? Just because you like it more? He's a rolling stone, man. Yeah. I don't live anywhere, bro. It sucks. It really, truly sucks, actually, at this point. Do you have, like, a goal set on your calendar? Like, by this time, I'm going to have a house or I'm going to have a home that's permanent? I mean, it'd be cool to live here or LA, to be honest. Yeah, I mean, every year it's, like, a goal where I'm, like, I'm going to have blocked off tour scheduling, you know? And then every year it's, like...

no i have to take every try saying that to a bag chaser good luck right yeah do you just like to work though and it's like you can't say no if the offers are coming in yeah kind of i just never feel like i have enough just be like okay i'm gonna chill now you know what i mean yeah i mean definitely i mean i feel the exact same way i mean it's a different job but yeah i mean absolutely i don't know if like I think certain people never feel like that, which is a curse and a gift, I think, depending on how you look at it. Yeah. No, I used to be like a psycho, dude. I used to work like a nine to five and tour for like seven years. Oh, shit. It was so bad, bro. I was like a data analyst. I worked in advertising. Like you were going to an office and then Friday you're leaving to go to Croatia. Yeah, straight up. It was crazy, dude. start playing. And then I didn't want my coworkers to know I wasn't in New York. You had the green screen in the background? No, I would notice there's a clock and I'd be like... I would move my computer really fast. Oh, that's good. So did the boss know what you were doing or was it like a secret? That was a secret. I don't want anyone knowing about my life. That's amazing. That's hard to maintain. We were talking about this last week, Chris, but this is what creative people from our generation and older used to do. You would have a job and then you would do your other thing on the side. And then if you're really good and you work a long time, you can quit your job and do your creative thing full time. I think people forgot about that now and they just want to go straight into the creative job that they're entitled to. So that's what I want old school style because my parents are immigrants and they're like, you have to have a normal fucking job. Do they think it's cool now because you're like successful or are they still like, what's this bleep, bleep, bloop, bloop shit, son? I mean, they are like, I can't believe people like you. They're like, this shit is so fucking boring and repetitive. They're always like, why don't you put a beat on it? I was like, it's only beats, bro. What are you talking about? I don't think you know what a beat means. Your mom's like, well, Skrillex has a lot of vocalists on his new one and maybe he could do something like that. I don't know. No, but they're nice about it. They think it's cool for sure. But yeah, I kind of miss working in the corporate world.

i have one really good story where i worked for like hearst media for like a year and a half yeah and i have no idea why so i got my boss was gay like my my main my main guy was okay and he invites me out like the second day to to to drinks like he's like we're gonna go get you know group drinks so i thought it was like team like they were i'm gonna meet the team or whatever right and then i get there and it's like gays night and then i was just like oh fuck like i can't like i don't know anyone i'm not gonna be like hey guys i'm not gay so everyone there just thought i was gay for a year and a half and i had to act gay for a year and a half and whenever we'd have like complete outings all the gays would talk to me like when we'd talk about like who we would want to fuck and shit like that and then eventually And then eventually to one of my coworkers, she was like, what are you doing? And I was like, I'm going out. And she was like, ooh, who is he? I was like, oh, it's actually a girl. And then she was like, well, that's cool to try something new, you know? Dude, that's really funny. That's really funny. You kept it up for a year and a half. I mean, I could obviously do that if I was put in that position, but that's impressive to keep the act up. I would love to see a Jonah Hill kind of movie where you gotta stay gay for a year to keep the job. And win the girl kind of thing. That's a great idea. He falls in love with his co-worker and has to figure out how he can become straight. This is like the Justin Timberlake Mila Kunis magazine movie where he worked at GQ. I can see the same kind of energy. We have to base it in 2003 New York. Of course. But that job was fun, dude, because so many famous people walk out of the Hearst building. So whenever there's the double-decker tour bus, they stop in front of the Hearst building. So every time I would leave work, I would just wave and then all these tourists would start taking pictures of me. As if I was like some famous person. Nice to see you guys. Love you guys. Love you guys. Thank you. He's so humble. It's cool that he still gives it up to the fans. This guy is great. This is why we support you.

That's really funny. Well, it sounds like you had a good grasp on how to handle corporate... You've made it fun. Yeah, it was nice. I loved it, dude. The data analysis was the best because it was just me and Indian guys, dude. And Indian guys are like... They're just like locked in. They're so wholesome and fun. Like, their sense of humor is so wholesome. Oh, I like that. That's a nice change. Yeah, it was really nice, actually. If they were to say something wholesome, what would it sound like, maybe, Brian? What would it sound like? It'd be like... You know, actually, you're the second people who've tried to make me do Indian voice on a live podcast thing, which I'm down to. You did come down to? I'm down to. What's up? You did Come Town 2? No, no, no. It was my friend's pod in England, and then I was like, this is too... I'm not necessarily asking you to do an Indian accent, more so of what's an example of some good, clean, wholesome chat. The wholesome level of the joke, yeah. They would send a meme where it's like, people work... This is a visual thing, so it's not going to be that interesting for the listeners, but it would be like, people working, and it would just be like... them sitting at a desk with good posture and it would be like when the boss is around and then under it would be like when the boss isn't around it would be the same people but like them with bad posture you know what i mean like that was a sense of humor not like their legs kicked up on the desk dude that is really funny that is a unbelievably good example of wholesome yeah you said that that was not going to translate in audio form and you really it translated that is a that is a hundred percent 100% wholesome. What an example, Brian. Thanks, guys. It's nice to talk to you. I miss you guys. It has been too long. I think we should probably make this a yearly kind of tap-in. It's like a wholesome treat. Yeah, a wholesome treat. We should call it the wholesome treat. I have a question for you guys. Please. Amongst us three and also amongst YouTube Plus guests in general. Who is the id, who is the ego, and who is the super ego in this discussion?

What was the first one? The id, the ego, and the superego. Like the Freudian thing. In this discussion, I've heard this before, but I don't know the... So, Chris, the id would be instinct-driven, pleasure-seeking, part of the mind, focused on immediate gratification, ego, rational mediator to balance the impulses with real-world constraints, and the superego, moral conscious, representing societal and parental standards, striving for ideal behavior. Super ego is me, obviously. Ego is Jason. And I'm the AF. Yeah. You're the AF. You're the AF, bro. Right, Jason? I think that's a fair... I guess. I mean, I don't know. Chris, you're also into immediate gratification. No, I definitely am, yeah, for sure. I mean, we're all obviously sort of id with a super ego rising. We all have all of this. Yeah, we all have all of this. But if we did have to narrow it down, it would be tough to argue with Chris's picks. What do you think, Brian? I'd have to agree. I have to battle with my id on a daily basis. We should do this, Jason. We should do this every episode. the Proust questionnaire in the back of Vanity Fair, you know, where you just kind of, everybody has to answer. Yeah. It's just weird for me to, for me to be the rational mediator. I find, well, I guess I, but I balance, I'm balancing you. Yeah. You balance, you balance me and the guests because I'm wild. you know, for lack of a better term. Yeah, you're a Buckwild podcaster. I'm Buckwild as a podcaster, and you are very rational. And I'm like, hey, keep it in the lanes, buddy. You're driving out of control. You subtly make sure it's in the lanes, but I think everybody has their role, you know, and it's important to understand what you're good at. It's true. You like it when I put my hand on your wheel, Chris? It's like this podcast is like I'm getting my learner's permit, and Jason also has a steering wheel and a pedal.

now on his side i got my clipboard out like okay as soon as i try to merge he just he's grabbing mine it's bad but brian i would say that you have good instincts for sure thank you i appreciate it i tried yeah i would agree with i would agree with that i try i think we're i think we're a good us three make up a good A good dude. Yeah, I agree. A solid dude. If you take the three best parts of the three of us, it would make one solid man. If we could teach Chris how to DJ, we'll be playing Red Rocks next year. That would be sick. How much time do we have? I don't know if I could learn something new at my big age. That's what the sync button's for, Chris. You can always learn something new, Chris. I don't like that mentality, bro. I want to. I really want to, but I find myself crippled. I really do. But it's something I'm working on. You have a lot on your plate. Be easy on yourself. No, no, no. I mean, thank you. But I also just think that there's like. more to life than sort of how i experience it you know what i mean like there's there's things like i don't do anything that gives me like pure joy and that's the only point i think it's hard to do you know what i'm saying like it's there's either money attached or there's ego attached or there's something driving it beyond you're taking your film photography just so you can get those clicks you're working out so you can have a better body you're not doing it yeah that's what i'm saying i think what do you think what do you think what do you think about birding Birding could be a little slow for me, but I like that sort of... I think that I should reach a plane where things like that are more appealing. But Jason, I feel like you... Maybe snacking for you, Chris? Yeah, honestly. Having a dessert is the most joy that I feel, probably. Because it's sort of bad boy, and it's easy to get. It's legal. It is bad boy, dude. It's bad boy. I have a question. If you're out with the boys, right?

uh-huh is it gay to order dessert yeah is it gay to order dessert yeah is it gay to order dessert with the boys i order dessert if i'm at a restaurant we're ordering dessert like if i'm at a real restaurant pause i'm ordering dessert does it depend are some cities more or less like like if you're like if i'm in miami and i'm with the boys and you order dessert maybe that's a little fruity but if we're in You know, another part, like if we're in Italy and you're like, I'll get a little espresso, a little, you know, dessert everywhere. And depending on the amount of people, more than one, you know, if it's four fellows, you need two desserts minimum. That's true. You can't just be getting one. Like what flavor gelato do you want? And you're like, yes. Yeah. You're going to be crossing. Yeah. That's right. Oh, man. All right. We got to record some ads. Thank you, Brian. It's a pleasure. So good to see you. Yeah, Brian's new record is out now, streaming everywhere on XL Records. Yes, please stream it. For fans of Sublime. Enjoy it. It's a great one. We got remixes coming soon, Brian? Maybe you, dude. That would be sick. Yeah, we needed them jeans. I was going to say, we needed them jeans edit. Yeah, that would be sick. Yeah, we'll talk after this. Yo, flow me the Sims. No promises. I think you need to remind the streets that... how the edit game really works jason because i i think that i think they've forgotten i'm the arab music of adding a pre-existing drum loop to a cork candy song you already know what it is did you know what i was talking about this morning that i haven't thought of in super long is hipster you guys remember hipster runoff of course I think he listens to the pod, actually. Someone was posting the Vice do's and don'ts book the other day, and I was like, God, this was such... It was so fucking funny. It was so good in its pride. It was so funny. You guys should try to get Carlos on the pod. Possibly. That would be possible. I don't know how many of our listeners are old enough to get it, but we could...

give them the lesson. It would be a teachable moment. He probably does agency work now. He definitely works at Widening Kennedy. He's like, I'm on the McDonald's account. He's like a Droga 5 guy. He's got the Crystal Castles hoodie on at the Droga 5 office. The Google stuff is giving me problems. I just can't crack it, but I think we're going to get there. Thank you again for doing the pod. Good to see you. We'll talk to you soon, pal. We'll see you soon. Bye, guys. Later. Arrivederci.