833. - Lee Tilghman

All right, this episode of How Long Gone is brought to you by Stateside with Kai and Carter, a new podcast from The Guardian. And they are using this podcast to slow down the news and wrestle with the questions that we all have about what's happening in the world. And they do it three times a week, Jason. Does that sound familiar to you? We don't really talk about, you know, a lot of international global news items and climates and cultures and sports and things like that. We do talk about fashion and wellness, but for everything else, Kai and Carter are a great place. All right, so who couldn't use more news? Listen wherever you get your podcast. or watch on YouTube. How long gone? It is Chris Black. I'm mercifully back in New York City. Them jeans, what's going on? You know, I'm just... Just getting ready to go to the airport again. But, you know, I've just been relaxing. Carolyn's been away on business, and I've just been holding down the fort, doing laundry and cleaning up around the house. Yeah, I know what you're doing. You're sitting there, spread eagle, scratching your nuts, taking an edible. I know exactly what's going on over there. It's fellas' time. You having a beer and a tank top? I'm wearing a tank top. No beer, though. No beer. Edible could be in play, though. I think you're right for thinking that. I think you're right. It's crazy, but I think you're right for thinking that. You're right for thinking that. You know, just washing the cars, you know, watering the plants. I love when TJ's home alone. Do you? I love when TJ's home alone. Well, you just go even more suburban. You don't know what to do with yourself, so you just do the chores, which I appreciate because if you're... If you're a certain kind of guy, you go out and rage with the homies. But we're adults, so we're not going to do that. I've already raged. You're doing what you should be doing is what I'm saying. It's age appropriate, I guess. Well, thank you. Thank you. You know, a little grocery shop. I went to the Americana last night solo to go see a movie in an effort to fight my jet lags to work out okay. I did fall asleep in the theater, which is unfortunate, though.

That is what I said to you when you told me that. I was like, you're like, yeah, I need to beat this jet lag. And I was like, so you're going to go sit in a movie theater and in the dark? I think that means you're going to fall asleep. My logic was even if I do fall asleep. You have to get up. You have to get up. I will have to eventually be awake enough to drive my car home at whatever it was, 930. That's true. Get in my car, drive it home, brush my teeth, et cetera, et cetera, and go to bed. at, you know, let's say 1030 instead of, you know, 745 starts rolling around, which is actually, you know, 6 a.m. and whatever time zone my body is still in. And I'm just, I'm done. It's a decent idea. It's a decent idea. And it worked. I slept in an extra almost two hours than I've been sleeping. That is, okay. TJ wins yet again. I ran into a friend of the show, Lionel, from The Bear. He was at the movie theater as well. Hopefully I'm not doxing him right now. Same flick, different flick. Same flick. I was in line at the concession stand getting my popcorn and Coca-Cola. I was like, what's up, man? I'm going to go see this movie. He's like, I'm going to go see it too. I haven't seen it yet. And I was like, yeah, that's how movies work. When you're done seeing them, you don't go anymore. I didn't say all of that. But I was like, oh, he might be more high than I am right now. Hell yeah. Yeah, he's seeing triple at the Americano. So it was all fun and games when we were walking in, excited to see the movie. Walking out, I'm over here. I look like I clocked nine hours in the coal mines. I'm yawning, walking down the hallway. I'll see you around. You're like, bro, we were just in a movie. You need to relax. I had a long stocking cap on my head, and I was carrying a little candelabra with a waxy lit wick. You had your bundle on your right shoulder. I had a five-hour flight delay yesterday, so I'm feeling a little...

rode hard and put up wet. Did you find out about the delay before you left the house or before you left the hotel? Yes, before we left the hotel we did find out so we were able to have a leisurely morning in Laguna, my new paradise. Were we able to keep the Ramoa at the front desk while we just hang out at the pool? Oh, no. You guys can get lunch if you want. We stayed in the room, bro. We didn't leave. We left there. It actually worked out perfect. We needed to leave the hotel at noon. Our flight was scheduled for 11 a.m. from LAX. It's an hour, you know, hour 15 drive. And it took... So we got multiple texts throughout the morning. So checkout times did not affect you? It didn't affect me at all. Luckily, once we got to the airport, everything stayed on track. So it was delayed five hours, and then they got on and told us this because one of the co-captains got sick. And I was like, you're telling me. You're telling me the co-pilot had a stomach ache and you delayed my flight five fucking hours? And they were talking about all the logistics. I'm like, bro, shut up. Get us on the plane. Shut the fuck up. No one cares if the pilot got COVID. We don't care. We don't care. But also, to me, it's like if the pilot is so sick that he can't fly, cancel the flight. Don't delay it. So three hours later, we're all good to go? Well, no. We beat this thing? No, that was... Or they have enough time to find somebody to reschedule. Vaccines work, Jason. But no, I think it was more that the... We got him on some antibiotics and he turned it around super quick. So he's ready to fly you home. I think what they do is it's a logistical nightmare because they basically have to get, you know, quote unquote, new crew. So that's what takes so long. So anyway, but I also, I was watching Love is Blind UK after I did some work. And there was a match being made and one of the guys, was like in the army and he he got he met this girl he really liked her and then they got into it and he was like yeah but she's cabin crew and i've dated cabin crew before and it didn't work out i was like this motherfucker he's got a track record i'd never heard an air hostess or stewardess called cabin crew like that and yeah i guess is that the is that the new respectful way to say it

the gender fluid way i i mean i guess it worked it seems a little too insidery of lingo like i feel like unless you work for an airline you're not allowed to call that it's a little slow down chief i completely agree it's like when i say something is dying on the line you're like all right relax bro you don't know what the fuck you're talking it's the same Sometimes people are over-familiar with industries that are not their own. Yeah. Dying on the line, I think that crosses over into general convo very well, and it's something that most people can understand. But once we get into the ins and outs of FAA regulations and all that kind of lingo, something about it shifts. I want you guys to have a language that only you speak of and I don't know of, and that's what keeps me safe and alive. If we all have access to the same information and you're clearly dumber than I am, I don't like the fact that I've put my life in your hands. Yeah. But that's a whole other pod. I want to know. I also feel bad to generalize and stereotype an entire career path just because this person has been scorned by one person. So either. This person is a closed-minded dater. This love is blind person, which is, you know, I don't know if they have any closed-minded people on love is blind, but it's an open-minded or also, you know, did this flight attendant, they must've done some crazy shit to just completely dismiss. I agree. It's not like, Oh, it's not like I don't date actors. They're all crazy. Like that is true. Like, yeah, that's real. And we all accept that or like, don't date a DJ because. whatever whatever like that makes more sense but just yeah don't just a respectable a respectable career path such as cabin crew i don't think it should get so much i i agree with you i i love our cabin crew members that are listening and i hope that you have i love most of them yeah i mean i hope you're you get the bulkhead for the ride home for the you know i hope all of that for you but i i think you're right though i think you're right that it is it feels and this guy um is one of those guys who had

Like mostly hand tattoos, but no other yats. You know what I mean? Like one arm looks completely clean and hand just fully covered, which is a red flag. Even if you're cabin crew, you know better than to lie down. It's gotten so bad with the tattoo kind of chronological placement that has been really flipped on its head. Where it used to be, you know, you work your way up. Once you're on your 70th tattoo, then we can start talking about hands and face. And now it's more, I think it's almost more acceptable to have a small face tattoo be your first tattoo than a hand tattoo. Oh, 100%. Isn't that psycho? A tiny, a tiny single needle Dr. Wu. A tiny... swastika right on the, I mean, a little, a tiny little teardrop or a knife or a dagger. What does Drake have? Drake has something. Drake has like a little, maybe it's a little cross. Yeah, something. Something light. Just something small, something light. Just a little, you know, a little. 76ers logo, whatever it is you got to do. The 100 emoji, just something, a little 100 emoji. Jason wants to look like the Island Boys, but I've been able to stop us from going there, so I'm glad that you're coming out. You know, just a little Who Killed Kenny, South Park kind of, a little something under the right nostril would be great. Versus getting, you know, like, I guess it's really cool when you're covered in tats and then your hand tattoo is like... the big face on like a hundred dollar bill or, you know, some type of young jock or young dro type of tattoo. Like that's good. And that makes sense. But when the only tattoo on your hand, it's like, it's just like some weird lion. It's a lion on your fucking, I mean, it's, it's the Cara Delevingne lion, but on your entire hand, like the outside of your hand, if you're a real one, you get up. Does Cara Delevingne have a lion? Yeah. Cara Delevingne has awful tats. Awful. Some of the worst tats of all time.

And they have to airbrush them off. Super shocked. I think certain people airbrush them. I think some people like it and think it's cool and edgy. Leave the family guy tat in. I think it's cool, C.D. No, I love the Quagmire. I think it's a nice back piece. Everyone talks about him having the full dragon, the phoenix rising back piece. Oh, yeah, Ben Affleck. benafleck benafleck having that sick back piece he's managed to navigate through imagine how many people's lives and days have been ruined having to work around that entire back piece like yeah i mean he hasn't done a ton of shirtless roles but enough right when when hunter trained him for the movie he he that was the movie it was like a netflix movie where he like emerges from the water and like a phoenix rising back from mount like a phoenix rising yeah but you see his his his fucking his his lats are on he looked good but the tattoo is distracting oh the lats are on mama the lats are on yeah i was on a flight back from a uh atlanta to los angeles little delta hub action and the guy uh the the guy who was on the speaker doing all the announcements and everything it was the rare moment where he was making little jokes and cracking little jokes the whole time nothing i hate more than when the cabin crew thinks they're fucking dave chappelle at the stand but he was slaying the crowd oh he was good was eating it up and i complimented on the way out i said i just wanted to let you know usually you know if you're on a southwest flight and they got their little jokes it's you know everyone hates it you just do a uncomfortable laugh to appease them and you want them to stop I'll say, you touched a Cat Williams cadence, and he said, I appreciate that, young brother. And he really had a good flow. He would say the punchline, and then everyone would laugh, and then he would whisper it again. Can I ask a question? Like a little echoing fade out. Yeah, go ahead. I like that. I like that. Put a little reverb on it. Can I ask, was the material plane and flight related, or was he freestyling about his own life?

He was freestyling. He was doing crowd work. He was doing crowd work. It was actually quite funny. There was a woman who... He was a big bitch in 3A. Here come this heifer right now. Damn, this bitch in 3A needs a seatbelt extender. Y'all know what? I thought they weren't going to let you back on here, big mama. Okay, anyway, so everyone is on the plane. Everyone is boarding. There's the line, the conga line of people with their bags waiting to get all the way down. Everyone's anxious. We're trying to put the bags here. Am I going to have room in the compartment? Backpack hitting the kid in the face, blah, blah, blah. It's a high stress environment. And then a woman, once she's in the back of the plane, she realizes that she left her phone at the gate and has to go back off the plane. So he makes an announcement saying, hey, everybody, if you could just stop. The woman who's at the end of the line in the blue sweater, you stop there. everyone take their seat and then this little so this woman can walk back off the plane and everyone does that and then halfway through the woman just gives up and she's like i'm just gonna go for it and then he started doing the play-by-play he's like oh the bitch is gonna do it and she's just gonna ignore that woman he went color commentary mode he went monday night football as if it was deon sanders ducking ducking the defense. He's like, oh, and a little spin move to the right, and now she's breaking free. It was good. I'm doing it no justice, but we have a guest today. Pray for Dion. We do have a guest today. Throw your Ds up. Lee Tillman is joining us. She has a new book, If You Don't Like This, I Will Die, which is a great title. Many times I got that text over the years. But it's about her influencing career. You might know her as Lee from America, but there's so much to talk about. She invented pouring a smoothie into a bowl, eating with a spoon. I can do 30 minutes. I actually did a podcast with her. On smoothie bowls. I did a podcast with her 10 years ago about granola. Let's get into it.

Oh, this is huge for me personally. This episode of How I'm Gone is brought to you by TaskRabbit. Oh, baby, let me tell you something. This is not a joke. I use TaskRabbit a lot because I can't do anything. You need some art hung? TaskRabbit. You need a fucking something put together? A cabinet? Got to reach that cheese grater on the top shelf? TaskRabbit. Anything you need. TaskRabbit can take care of it for you. And I mean, how it works, TaskRabbit connects you with skilled taskers in your area. They can help you move. They can assemble furniture, repairs, yard work, mounting, and more. You can search for a tasker based on cost, skill set, availability, and past client reviews so you know exactly who's showing up and can have confidence that they know what they're doing because taskers have assembled over 3.4 million pieces of furniture, completed 700,000 home repairs. handled 1.5 million moves, and the numbers are just going up, Jason. Yeah, throw a little money at the problem. It's not so expensive, and that job that you really don't want to do is something that another person out in the world is very good at doing and would gladly do it in exchange for a little bit of money. So when life happens, your to-do list grows. Get ahead of it now and get $15 off your first task at TaskRabbit.com or grab the TaskRabbit app. using promo code howlong. Taskers book up faster, especially for same-day tasks. So book trusted home help today. That is $15 off your first task using promo code howlong with the TaskRabbit app or at TaskRabbit.com. All right, this episode of How Long Gone is brought to you by Quince. Jason, the temps are warming up. It's getting hot out there. Summer always changes how I get dressed. I need pieces that feel lighter, more breathable. And they're just easy, but still put together. I don't want to look like a slob. That's why I keep coming back to Quince. They focus on high-quality essentials that feel and look amazing. Breathable linen and soft organic cottons. Well-made basics, but without the luxury markups. That rare balance where everything feels elevated.

but still effortless. Yeah, Chris, linen season is here. I wore a linen blazer to dinner a few nights ago in the warm California sun. But, you know, you got that Italy trip coming up this summer and quality European linen pants and shirts. Upgrade that look starting at just $34. You know, if you get a nice linen suit, a little t-shirt underneath it, some chill shoes, you're looking good, but you're staying cool. The inside of your special areas are nice and dry as you turn up with your besties. So elevate that summer wardrobe. Go to quince.com slash how long for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns, even on a nice holiday now available in Canada. That is Q-U-I-N-C-E dot com slash how long. That'll get you free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince punto com slash how long. This episode of How Long Gone is brought to you by a new podcast from The Guardian stateside with Kai and Carter. This is covering a lot of our bases, Jason. It's trying to slow down. The news and wrestle with the questions we all have about what's happening in the world. And I know you particularly have quite a lot of questions. A lot of questions. But how often? Because we do this podcast three times a week and that's a sweet spot. How many times do they do? Three times a week. And I have a feeling just based on the platform and these talking points that they're maybe going to be covering different stuff than we do. That's just a guess. The Guardian is not some billionaire owned. They're not afraid to say what they want to say, brother. Yeah, Rupert ain't sniffing around in what journalists Kai Wright and Carter Sherman are up to over there at Stateside. But yeah, listen wherever you get your podcasts. You can watch it on YouTube. It's three times a week. And who couldn't use more news? Especially when it's not from here, let's say. Give it a listen. Give it a listen. Can you hear me? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, cool.

How's the sound engineering? You're like the sound guy. So far, so good. Why did you say it like in a little bit of an insultary manner? You're kind of like the sound boy or whatever. It did feel insultary. No, no, no. He's like... stuff it's like from dj to like audio i i was hoping you were starting i do have the sound stuff i was hoping you were starting it with attitude and that we appreciate that here yeah yeah come in hotly you're the first guest that we've had after our holiday break so the pressure is on i think you can handle it though right totally you're also the first guest i think we've we've had with a visible stanley on the desk so i if you were guys if you guys are wondering lee is a white woman And she's proving it to us visually. And she said, let's do a vanilla cake with some vanilla frosting on top. What color are the candles? Are you putting powders in your water or is that coffee? What do we have in the Stanley? This is truly actually just filtered water from my Berkey. Okay. Berkey gang. I've got my Berkey filter here as well. What size is your Berkey, Lee? What size is your Berkey? Hey, what did that Berkey do? 40 ounces of freedom 40 ounces of freedom and i drink about eight of these a day okay so you're okay you're on your bullshit when it comes to water i am too i am too so you drink eight 40 ounce stanley's per day give or take give or take that might have been a little bit of an exaggeration like like if i'm really in my water flow and i'm in the routine and i'm like not traveling if i'm really pissing with it What's the number looking like? Like, like on a good, like if I could hit my, my water goals, let's say, you know, six, seven, um, in the summer when I'm like, you know, exercising. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm with you. I'm, I'm with you. I'm with you. And I think it's important. And I, but I did read that sometimes, um, you can piss too clear. Um, and that is, that is actually unhealthy. Um, I don't want to get into the, the, the nitty gritty obviously, but it's something that.

I want you to think about it. So, yeah, I mean, because you're a small person, Lee, you've taken down upwards of two gallons of water in one day. I feel like you have to be doing some, not ultra marathon running, but some sort of marathoning, right? Do you have to eat at that point or is it kind of water only? No, no, I'm eating too, but I am exercising. You know, I'm a daily exerciser. So I am, you know, New York City. Yeah, thank you. Daily. Thank you. Oh, you live in New York. I do. I do. I live in Brooklyn. Yeah, I could tell you're in Brooklyn. Yeah. What part? Brooklyn Heights. Oh, wow. You're not a gay man? No. How many kids do you have? Gay or married? Zero. That's crazy. But you're recently married, right? No kids. I'm recently engaged. I live in Brooklyn Heights with my fiance. Yeah. Congratulations. What does he do? He's in finance. Oh, hell yeah. She said, I came up. I saw the diamond and I knew. She's like, that book paid high. It didn't pay Brooklyn Heights. Can you hold the diamond up to the camera, please, Lee? Okay, that's nice. That's a nice little piece right there. We don't have our diamond checker on us, but I believe that it's real visually. It's real. It's real. It's not a lab diamond. So I know that you're a... You're a very sustainable chica. When we get the diamond, we don't ask about where it came from, do we? It's all good, right? Even you don't want that lab-grown trash. You want your shit mine. You don't want the impossible burger, impossible diamond? Okay, impossible. This just goes to show that like... Like growing things in labs is not what we want. We want the real thing. Like 11 Madison is going back to meat. We want slave labor to get those diamonds out. This is a really good spin on getting diamonds. We want the real thing when it comes to food, when it comes to nutrition. I don't like synthetic fabrics on my body. Disgusting. I don't. My grandmother passed me down a real fur coat, and I'd rather have a real fur coat than like a fake fur coat.

fur or leather like that that's made in a factory i'd rather have like this story i don't want to know the story about this diamond necessarily but i do like the story historically it is a it is a green flag if a chick has a hand-me-down mink or fur from their grandmother just in my history in my history that is usually like a hot girl signifier it's a it's a personal chris green flag it's an east it's an east coast hot girl signifier it means grandma grandma had a little bread and a little bit of taste. Now, depending on the, is it a, is it a shrug? Is it floor length? Walk me through the animal. No, it is. It is a floor length mink coat. That's nice. And she was an Upper East Side girl. Yeah, I could tell. I could tell. And she, my grandmother gave it to me last year and I tried it on and I was like, I'm bringing this back with me to Brooklyn. And my mom said, no one wears fur anymore. Like you're, you know, you're going to get. blood thrown on you you know like as if pita's like on the streets at clark street um and i get nothing but compliments and i wore it on like my third date with my fiance and i think it's so cool to have something with a story i agree and i think it's i i but i do think you're right there's there's a point where it's like all right well this thing is just chemicals yeah or it's the real thing now do you keep it Do you keep it – are you paying for high-end storage at the Furrier? No, no, but I am bringing it in a couple weeks to a place in Manhattan on the Upper East that repairs it because my grandmother gave it to me after it had been stored for so long. Some of it like it was it was, you know, these these jackets were handmade to fit her body. So some of the buttons are a little loose and some of the lining is breaky, but it's a beautiful silk lining. Get a little tune up. Yeah, I'm just getting I'm getting it tuned up. What kind of what kind of shoes? What kind of shoes is grandma wearing? Is she because I hope it's not hokas, even though she's getting up there in age. But I imagine she's wearing some tasteful.

footwear she's wearing she's 95 so she's wearing for comfort now up until maybe 10 years ago she was still wearing you know a little kitten heel but now that she's in she's 95 she's down in florida and she's um she's wearing the you know slip-ons and and sketchers that you don't have to bend over to put what yeah having martha stewart sell those was the smartest thing that they ever did i think what a great investment because that suddenly made if it's okay for martha it's okay for me every every woman says that right Yeah. I'm slipping it on. Yeah, 100%. It really made me look inward when I realized that there was a product being marketed so you didn't have to bend over. And I was like, damn, one day I'm going to choose my footwear because it doesn't hurt my back. Well, I think the problem is people are like 40 looking at that like, ooh, that sounds good. And that's where the issue. That's the issue. Wait until you're 75. 75 is the cutoff where you start buying footwear. We need to be bending over. We need to be bending over in our 30s. I bend over all the time. I bend over every day. I'm glad we got clean audio of that. Thank you, Chris. Without fail, I'm bending over. I was just at Equinox bending over just a few hours ago. There's an Equinox in Brooklyn Heights, right? Did you ever leave the sauna and do a workout, or was it just in there? There is an Equinox in Brooklyn Heights, but it's not a great one. It's from the 70s. It's like eight floors. Is that where you go or are you doing hot Pilates or something? No, guys. I go on runs and walks and I do Pilates at home on YouTube. And then there's a gym in my building. But before that, I was just doing like. I have weights here at the apartment. I like doing it, like, at home. I'm not – and I also am a member of SAA, and so I sometimes go to the Pilates there. I'm sorry to hear that. I'm sorry to hear you're part of the PSYOP. Are you using the pool there? I was. I was until I was swimming one day. By the way, like – I'm 35 now, so I'm not here. I don't drink. I'm not here to party. I'm here to like, I'm using that pool for laps. I'm using that pool to clear the mind, to empty the spirit. I'm not here to like drink a martini in the pool. And I'm swimming in the pool a couple months ago. And it's like 9 a.m. And there's like girls having iced coffee right next to me. And they kept kind of migrating into my lap.

into my swimming lab. My lane. But there's no lanes, to be fair. There's no lanes. But it is Tuesday. It's the morning. Who drinks coffee in a pool? I'm using this as a YMCA. They're using it as their club. And that's the mismatch. And while swimming, I saw a big clunk of hair in my hand. Not your own. No, no, no, no. Probably not your own. Now that you're engaged to a finance guy, are we going to get a reformer in the house? What do you think? How long? How long? Yeah. Yeah. Potentially. Potentially. What is he doing? What is he doing for workouts? I know he's buff. He's doing berries. He's a berries guy. Hell, my man. OK, so he's a psycho. I like this for you. A fellow gay. A fellow gay. Is he doing is he doing like the 530 a.m. before he hits the office? No, he's. He's doing the 720. Okay, 720 is actually reasonable and means you're less mentally ill than the 530. 530 is serial killer. What are the chances of him listening to this podcast? He's going to listen, guys. Is he familiar with how long gone or he just is supportive? Oh, he is. Okay, great. He's a fan. What's his name? He saw you guys live once. Oh, wow. What's his name? His name? Yeah, his first name. His name is Jack. Jack, well, Jack sounds like a great guy. He's a great guy. We're trying to break into that market. So any tips that Jack has for us? I don't mean the stock market. I mean guys like Jack and all of his coworkers and their Rivian trucks, we want them coming to our shows. You know what I mean? But if Jack does have a tip, you know, I'll take it. I'll take it. I'll pump and I'll dump. Yeah, I'll do anything. I don't care. Have you learned now? Now, being with a finance guy, every woman's dream in New York City is have you learned anything or do you look at it like it's sort of Chinese? I don't need to. I don't need to learn. I mean, one time he was like working from home and he was pulling up like while I was cooking, he was pulling up like his like projections. does real estate finance and he was looking at invest, they're investing in a commercial property. Um, and he was pulling up kind of like, and I sent us here on calls where he's talking about like projections and numbers. And, uh, it's a little bit Chinese to me cause that's not my, my specialty. So it's a little bit like I'm not understanding and it just sounds really smart and impressive to me. That's right. And that's the trick. That's why they have, that's why they have to get civilians.

Because they don't want to define it. They don't want to talk about this shit at home. You know what I mean? No. And then you could do that back to him when you're discussing ashwagandha and lion's mane. And he's like, babe, what are you talking about? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Every relationship. But he eats everything. If I give it to him, he'll eat it. And he'll be like, what's this? What did I just eat? So how much are you cooking versus going out to eat? We're cooking. I'm cooking. I love to cook. So I cook like... Five or six nights a week. Wow. Five or six nights a week. Yeah. We only go out like one night a week. That's impressive. Yeah. I don't know why you live in New York, but good for you. We do it because, A, I love to cook. I'm a foodie, as they say. I've heard that. I read your book. I know all about it. Okay. Okay. So I like to cook. We're trying to save money. We eventually want to leave the city. We want to buy a house. Are you going to go back to your motherland of Connecticut? Potentially. He's from New York, so we might do like... But it has to be outside of the city, somewhere close, so he can still commute. Sure, we've got to hit Westchester. The Burbs! Oh my gosh, yeah, my sister just moved to Westchester. You know, I've got the family in Fairfield County. You know, we're going to pop out a baby or two, so we've got to have the family. Who did your sister, what kind of man did your sister bag? Goldman. Okay. Wow. Okay. But you thought, but you were fucking around. It took a while to get here, but you got here, didn't you? Because you were fucking around with losers. I mean, from what I witnessed. And I don't know. I don't think we ever crossed paths, but it seemed like maybe you were. Yeah. I mean, I feel like there's some people that we know. There were some names in the book that were changed where I was like, oh, I know that guy. And I know that guy. Oh, my God. Don't worry. We can bleep out whatever we need to bleep out. It's all good. Okay, okay. But, yeah, I mean, did you change – did your publisher, our dear friends at Simon & Schuster, did they suggest some changes or were you like, no, I want to let it spray? So, yeah, you have to kind of – the book is read in the editing phase by a lawyer that Simon & Schuster gives you. And anything that –

They read the book and they flag anything that could potentially result in a lawsuit. So they make sure when you're dealing with name changes, the only names that are real are like my friend Becca and like, you know, my sister's name. But like most other names, because these are people who are maybe not in my life anymore and I don't want to, you know. It's not the book. This book's not about. It's a really nice way to put it. Maybe not in my life anymore. I got into this fucking loser in 10 years. He's not in my life anymore. In my life anymore. Yes. Not part of my life. So it's just cleaner that way across the board. It's just cleaner. It's just cleaner. And also, interestingly enough, about the name changing process, you have to pick a name that is. If you're writing about someone named Riley, you can't say Ryan. I mean, that's kind of obvious. But you also have to make sure that you are not naming it after someone else who could be confused for that person, if that makes sense. Because a lot of authors have gotten themselves into danger with that. So the name changing, that was stressful for me because I changed a lot of names a lot of times. But I'm happy where I ended up. I'm telling the lawyer to do that shit. You want them changed? Change them yourself, chief. I don't got time for this. I ain't got time for all that. I was saying on the intro that you did my food podcast literally 10 years ago. I know. When you were doing a granola pop-up activation. The stew. Yeah, the stew. I did not listen to it. I read some of the transcript. I want to talk about the granola activation. What does that mean exactly? This was the beginning of everything. If something was... really popular online, then you would do it in person, a pop-up. You know, I think those days are gone. That industry is falling apart. There's still pop-ups, but it's normally like collabs between two restaurants, like a pizza place from Brooklyn is going to go. Oh, y'all are talking about food. I'm talking about like hot chicks that are dating tennis players selling a million dollars worth of sweatshirts. No, for sure. That does. Or like when we were in Copenhagen, the Scars Pizza was doing slices and, you know, they'll bring...

a chef from New York to a coffee shop in LA and we're going to make squash blossom pizzas and matcha collab. Lee, I bet after reading the book, I bet you're nasty with the granola. I bet that recipe still works. It does. It does. I made a smoothie bowl this morning, actually. Oh, hell no. You're relapsing like that? Guys, guys. Call your sponsor. Call your sponsor. The smoothie bowl is a neutral experience. It's a neutral food. It's how you show up to the smoothie bowl. It's how you show up to the granola. It's how you show up to it. Well, I mean, Chris is laughing, but whenever he comes to L.A., the first thing he does before even checking into the hotel is he goes to Backyard Bowls. Backyard Bowls is my favorite restaurant. We were in Santa Barbara last week. And I woke up and my wife was like, you're never going to believe this. And I was like, what? She's like, there's a backyard bowl 10 minutes away from the hotel. I went there every day. I went there every day. I left the grounds. It's the best restaurant I would love to franchise. Walk us through your order there, Chris. We have the smoothie bowl. Power bowl. Power bowl. No honey. Add chia seeds. What's in the power bowl? Now, what's that? What's that base? Is it purple? Is it green? I don't fucking know. It's purple. It's purple. Classic. It's purple stuff. I know it's not good for me, and I don't care because it really is the best. I just love it so much. I can't think of a food item. I want more. Why are you talking about it like you ordered a Popeye's? six-piece platter. I know it's not good for me eating chia seeds. Because it's a sugar bomb. It's a sugar bomb. It's a sugar bomb. It's a fucking sugar bomb. I was watching, there's a band called Happy Mondays. There's a guy who plays the shaker in Maracas. And he's become like a beekeeper honey guy. And I watched a video of him today saying he's removed all sweets from his diet. He's like a super healthy guy.

but he has about a gallon of honey once a month, and he just pours it on everything, and he looks great. He looks amazing, very well. He's done more drugs than just about anyone alive. He's very healthy, very trim, mentally sound. I see a lot of people eat a lot of honey, and they seem to be totally fine. What's the latest on honey? A lot of runners, too. It's like energy. What are your thoughts on Honeygate, Lee? I'm pro Honeygate and also what a lot of runners here at the run club. I'm not in a run club anymore, but I was. Congratulations. Thank you. They're out in droves right now instead of goo. Now you can buy single packs of shots of maple syrup. So, guys, we're talking, you know, the naturally sourced sugar. I even had one guy in my run club say, you know, I don't do goo. I do a mini sneakers. And I was like a flex. Like he does. Wow. Can I start sucking your dick right now? That's a cool. Wow. Not even a full size. I saw I saw an article saying that, like. pop tarts or the new like runner snack or whatever because you need sugar you're burning so many calories when you're going on these like 11 12 13 mile runs like you know to keep it up and hit and hit hit your goals hit your what do you think about those little waffles though yeah i saw a girl running this weekend in the city um eating a waffle while on a run and i was like oh i don't know let me say this though because all my all my runner heads have told me if you see somebody wearing a vest in the city They're overdoing it. You don't need the fucking vest unless you're doing basically a marathon. Unless you've got a bomb in there, do not do it, honey. Yeah, you don't need the eight Martin gels and the fucking water bottles. Two water bottles. You don't need that. They've got, like, you know, a change of shirt. They look like the breast milk pumps on the front. It's crazy. They do. Vests are hilarious. Like, it's just also funny because when you realize there are people who are doing, like, multi-weekend triathlons and they're wearing a vest, like, in the woods, and then, like, you're, like, doing a vest on the West Side Highway. It's just, like, it's kind of funny when you kind of look at it and you're like, oh, that's not, you don't need that. People pull up to the Equinox in Soho with the vest on, like, and I'm like, did you run here? Yeah. And how far could that possibly be?

You know, it's the same thing as where people used to wear, like, gun holsters as an accessory. Oftentimes if they're a photographer, but sometimes if you're just a rapist. Don't talk about Interpol. Don't talk about Carlos D like that. Legend in the game. Shout out to Carlos D. Carlos, he's cool. He's the best coke I've ever done. But I also don't want to confuse it with this new thing that a lot of girls are doing now is walking with a weighted vest. Because I saw a girl with a weighted vest on, and I was like, why is she walking with a running vest? But now there's these weighted vests that you can buy, and you can add like 5, 10, 15 little bars. And so you're walking around with 15 pounds on you, and it doubles the cardiovascular benefits. Does it double it? Yeah, Jason and I both have these weighted vests. They were sent to us by some nice people, and I did wear it a few times, and I felt too insane in public. I mean, I guess you could put it under a shirt, but then you'd look even crazier. You do look crazy. I wear it for a little dog walk around or go for a hike. It looks totally normal. What do you guys think about the arm weights when you see girls with, like, the balas? Are you talking about the bala bangles? Yeah, what do you think about the bala bangles? What do you guys think about them? I mean, it often pairs with, like, lip fillers and Botox. From what I see, it's like a little bit of a package deal. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I do think that that is a genius business. Genius business. Basically. I mean, it's such a simple rebrand and it's so like DTC and like the colors are so annoying, but they nailed it. What do you think about them? No downside? I mean, my mom, she is, I, some might say like the OG, like she's very, very healthy and just like a normal, but healthy. And she goes on power walks every afternoon with these little two pound weights. And I used to think like, OK, you know, that's what they did in the 80s. You know, they would walk with weights. It was a totally normal thing. And then I saw the bala things coming out and I was like, OK, that looks silly. But then I saw a TikTok of a girl being like turning my unpacking and packing into a workout while doing chores with balas. And I was like, dude, like I could see myself like it. Yeah, I don't know. I just kind of was like thinking aloud. And yeah, I mean, if you just if you just wear the vest.

You've got to optimize every second of the day. You know, something's going to happen. You might get tired more. Yeah. Your bones might be bad. Something's going to happen, negative or positive. Negative and positive. I just want to be clear on your honey stance. You're very pro, but you're not making your own. This episode of How Long Gone is brought to you by Squarespace. Obviously, Jason, you and I spend a lot of time on the World Wide Web. So do our peers, our listeners, our friends, our colleagues, maybe even your parents if they're freaky. And if you're doing anything in the world, writing, taking pictures. I do topless boxing. You need a website. Exactly. A website that works, that does what it's supposed to do, that allows you to be creative but also business-minded. Jason, there's one place to go for that, Squarespace. Yeah, Chris, I'm over here. I'm modifying calculators and putting Claude inside of them so you could cheat at school. And I just want a place where I could, you know, have everything all in one place. I can have the SEO tools so those future graduates can find me. And, you know, I'm able to accept, quote, unquote, donations for my services that might be gray area. You know what I mean? And then email campaigns. Hey, I got a new 2.3 version upgrade. Boom, boom, boom. Get the analytics going. Raise some money. Show your investor all of your cool analytics of what's going on. They're going to want to get in early. And we can use Blueprint AI to make your website look as professional as your competition, if not more. So head to squarespace.com slash howlong for a free trial. When you're ready to launch, use offer code howlong to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or a domain. Hi Talk House Network listeners, it's your old friend Nels Klein from Wilco here. Wilco is touring this summer and we'd love to see you somewhere on the road. We're playing shows this June and July in Rochester Hills, Michigan, Chautauqua, New York, Lafayette, New York, Bethlehem, Pennsylvania, Vienna, Virginia, Forest Hills, New York, Portland, Maine, Tulsa, Oklahoma, Memphis, Tennessee, LaGrange, Georgia, Charleston,

South Carolina, Virginia Beach, Virginia, Wheeling, West Virginia, and Columbus, Ohio. Plus, there are even more dates, some with Willie Nelson that I didn't even mention here. So please go to wilkoworld.net to see the full list of dates. We'll see you on the road this summer. Visit BetMGM Casino and check out the newest exclusive, the Price is Right Fortune Pick. BetMGM and GameSense remind you to play responsibly. 19 plus to wager. Ontario only. Please play responsibly. If you have questions or concerns about your gambling or someone close to you, please contact Connects Ontario at [redacted phone] to speak to an advisor. Free of charge. BetMGM operates pursuant to an operating agreement with iGaming Ontario. No, I'm not making my own and I'm pro honey, pro maple syrup. I just don't like, I don't like honey. I don't like it. Really? I just, I don't, I never, I never use it. I never think to put it on anything. But you know, all honey tastes a little different. Try just the regular, if you try like the, like make sure you're not getting like, like I don't really like the wildflower lavender honey or like the locals honey. I like the like honey that's in a bear that you could just get at any store and it just tastes like sweet syrup. But where would I, where would I use this though? Cause I don't put it in my coffee cause I'm a man. On yogurt, on fire. Chai yogurt with a little berry and granola, a little honey. Mix it in with your oatmeal in the morning, Chris, instead of a brown sugar. But I don't – I just don't – I think what it is is I'm not sweetening a lot of things in my life. That's good. So I don't – Are you flexing right now? Are you like flexing like – No, no, no. Because I want to like honey. It seems like something that's good for you that I should like. It's like a little treat. Well, that's why I brought up the Happy Mondays guy because he was saying it sounds like the last – boss in the eating disorder is removing dessert from your life and yeah something that chris has been doing for the last couple weeks i'm clean maybe three weeks but i'm looking at this old guy and he's saying like it's just not like us you know it's like oh i just go on a master cleanse and i'm all good or i just eat bananas every day and it's all good it's not going to last very long you have to start

Adding, you know, learning to love learning to love. No, nothing. Well, I'm an all or nothing type cat. So maybe it's sustainable. But I did see yesterday I saw a guy, a buff guy on Instagram posting about what he eats every day. And it was a he would take a sweet potato, a Japanese sweet potato, cut it up, put it in the microwave with water on it, chop up a bunch of bananas. put that on top of the sweet potatoes put cinnamon on top and eat it and the comments were like bro this is disgusting and one guy was like Damn, I know a motherfucker who's been in jail when I see one. This is a jail. This is some jail shit. It's both eating disorder and jail and workout gun. Why do that when you can also just have, like, a cookie or, like, a scoop of ice cream? I want to have that kind of control, but if you put a scoop of ice cream in front of me, it's going to be three different ones, three different flavors. I can't have one vanilla. But isn't the sentiment is that, like, if you say to yourself, you know what, Chris, like, have a little... pep talk with yourself and say i'm gonna what if i told myself that i can have ice cream like this every night if i wanted to without the all or nothing and just be like if and once you tell yourself that believe that there will always be ice cream tomorrow you won't want to have five scoops you can have you know a scoop a day this is i know we just met and i love your logic but there is no way that's going to work for me and i but i think that is smart and it sounds like something that you you either learn somewhere or were taught by someone that seems like sound and advice. I think some people have that scarcity mindset, and I think that strategy does work for some people. I think Chris is a little more... I have an abundance mindset, let's say. This is further down the rabbit hole, parentheses derogatory, than some other people where his body will reject that. But I feel the same way as you. And, you know, just letting the body freely do what you want to do. And sometimes you want no dessert. Sometimes you want a bowl of cereal. Sometimes you want fucking C's candy, you know, and you just kind of have to walk towards what you want and have a little bit. I was just in L.A. this week, and I finally got to check out Kismet Rotisserie. And they had a little brownie special of their S'mores Blondie Brownie, and it slapped. It slapped. Don't say this stuff to Chris.

Sorry. Don't worry. I'm not going to any Kismet restaurant. So I'm free. I'm free. I don't eat. I don't eat chicken. I'm sure the rotisserie is good. I just I remember going to Kismet was the hottest restaurant in L.A. and being like, this place is more about the ceramics than it is about the food. And that's that's what L.A. is. Yeah. It's not a safe space for cisgendered men. That's for sure. It's not. Yeah, that's that's not a restaurant. Yeah. What do you think? We say this a lot, but there's. Do you think there are restaurants that are for women? Not not. They're not saying that. Yeah. But like a raft. Yeah. The restaurant for women. Yeah. Honey High is definitely a restaurant for women. Right. Right. I mean, I was also in Honey High this week, too, and I saw a couple bros. Oh, yeah, King. King is for girls. You're right, you guys. You're definitely right. King, you leave, you leave, you spent $300, you're still hungry. Imagine you walk into King, Chris is alone, performatively reading a book at the bar at King. He's going to get 75 phone numbers. Joan Didion. She's really popular right now. She's cool. Oh, this is called Lolita or something. I don't know. Oh, just another glass of Chablis. I think you're giving a lot of single guys some ideas on how to pick up girls, going to those restaurants with a book. And then the girl will be holding her espresso martini and thinking, he's a safe, he's a good one. He's a safe one. He's wandered into my zone and he's not disrupting the feminine energy. Rucola is also a female, a place that attracts a lot of females. Rucola, I haven't been there. It's in Borum Hill. Well, I was reading the beginning chapters of your book, and you were talking about how you would consume early internet like AOL Instant Messenger, oftentimes with a snack, a bowl of pretzels, just like regular handover pretzels out of the bag or whatever. And a few times you referenced going to the computer with the bowl of snacks. I'm sure Chris was snacking when he was on AOL Instant Messenger.

when he was a fat person as well. I wasn't snacking. I was just jerking off. But yeah, I mean, there is. I was folding my dick into a pretzel, but have fun with your little snacking. Okay, so my question is, Lee, nowadays, do you still have that kind of muscle memory reflex of I'm going to go on the internet, I'm going to go on the computer and write a sub stack or do a whatever? Do you have a modern, healthier version of the bowl of pretzels today? Yeah. So my kind of go-to snack, I don't, I actually, one thing that I do now is I don't go on the computer and I try not to multitask in general. Sometimes I have to, sometimes I have to work while eating, but I try to like have, I like at four, like go off from the computer for a little bit and go sit down and be a little, at least off the computer so that I could just focus on the food. But like one of my favorite things right now. Screen-free dining. Screen-free dining. is Gruyere cheese with some Mary's Gone crackers and a little fruit, like a little snack plate. Just some really good Gruyere. I'm kind of really into cheese right now, but Gruyere specifically. It's just perfectly nutty. I love a Mary's Gone cracker, and I think Gruyere is coming back. Is that the kind of cheese that they use on the Copenhagen bread and butter roll, or is that something different? Yeah. Or is that Gouda? I don't know. I think they use it. I know that it's a raw milk cheese, so that's kind of how I found out about it. Oh, hell no. That's why that shit tastes so good. Oh, hell no. Yeah, it's so good. It's so good. It's really, really good. I get it at the co-op. It's delicious. Oh, you're going to the co-op? That's how Brooklyn you are? Yeah. I'm sorry, but once you become a member, I had to do a shift yesterday. Okay, what kind of freaks are coming in there? I got suspended because like I got engaged. I was away. I was in Europe. And then like I launched my book and I got like suspended. So I had to like I'm in like kind of the red zone right now. I'm in like co-op prison. So I had to work a shift yesterday. They let me shop afterwards. But now I'm back in the back in the red and I have to work two more shifts in order to get green again. Can I ask you which the person that is sort of.

keeping track of all of this let's say the the principal in this case can you describe them to us i just want to know just to further send yourself into the yeah yeah attention that you're in right now i want you to go into bright and you and you don't have to go to this this is fully elective right you could just fully elective you could just go to whole foods but i'm telling you though like like you could yeah you could go to a farmer's market Or the farmer's market. But, guys, I'm telling you, the Park Slope Food Co-op is the closest thing to Erewhon that we have here. And it's not overpriced. It's wholesale pricing. Hell no. Are there hotties there? Be honest. No. I mean, maybe like 2%. Like 0.2%. No one's going to Erewhon for the cauliflower or the sea moss gummies. They're going there to look at each other in sweatpants and sports bras. Beyond the aesthetics. but it's just super, super curated and the best products like Graza without the markup. I'm getting Graza for $14 a bottle. I don't know what you guys get Graza for. Graza? You get that at fucking Walmart, bro. I ain't getting Graza anywhere. I thought this is some unique shit. You caught me with a squeeze bottle, I'd be embarrassed. My cheeks would be red like your zone. We got packs of 18 different types of rice. And then we also have – the benefit is that the farmer's market comes to us. So, like, every day it's, like, the local, like, greens from upstate, the tomatoes from – Okay, okay. Like, it's just one place for all. I understand the offering is exceptional as far as quality goes. But I don't want to – yeah, I don't want to rub elbows with these people. So who is the principal? Who is the CEO of this operation? Who's the final stinky boss? We have a – we've had a – a president for like 20 years and i believe that they send out emails and i believe that he's stepping down and there's a big election coming up i don't get involved but some of these people are going to like the committee meetings and the you can get so involved there's always protesters outside of the co-op it's hell i'm telling you it's hell there's still mask days what

Yeah, there's mask days. So this is, just to be clear for our listeners, this is all revolving around a store where you walk in and have the privilege of being able to buy produce. Full price. There's no discount involved. You have to pay money on top of volunteering your time to work there. Are there dues as a member? Yeah. Beyond just your labor? No. So you pay a $100 membership investment fee, and then you pay, I think, like a $50... like do and then i think you get your investment fee back if you ever leave um and so the there's no crazy markups but like i will say that like a thing of yogurt is 11 at christine's and it's eight dollars at the co-op so um and the dates are fresh because there's so many people shopping everything is really fresh and it's just like it does have that neighborhood feel where i feel like we've been um A lot of us are just getting, you know, Instacart, and it's bringing the feeling back of neighborhood. I got to tell you. I got to tell you something. I would pay whatever it costs to not go there. Like, that's the reality. I am so glad I live in California. Double the price on the fucking yogurt, and I'll go to fucking Amazon-owned Whole Foods to not rub elbows with a 65-year-old guy with ear hair. policing tomatoes yes like i'm not i'm just not doing it that kohlrabi is uh accounted for sir get your hand but i do i do i'm sure the product is great the older the older members are the ones that i have the most issue with because they see me i work checkout that's the shift that i work and so i'm i'm i'm rubbing elbows with these folks and even just yesterday um i uh i i worked i checked out how long is the shift how long is the shift two two hours and 45 minutes light work light work Shorter than the brutalist. I checked out a couple members all in a row who have been members since the 80s and 90s. And, you know, they were like, they heard the number. I was like, OK, that will be $50. And both of them said, you know, let me see. Let me see what you checked out. I don't believe you. This used to be $20. This used to be $20. And I just was like, that's just how it is now. And they thought that I maybe was like.

making them pay more and that i like have double this young bitch trying to get one over on us and i'm like guys i'm sorry this is yeah it's not 1990 anymore can you pay can you pay can you pay with a credit card uh no you can't you have to use a debit card or cash Oh, wow. Okay. Okay. Are there any upsides to this at all? I'm still waiting to find one. Like the curation, like the fact that I had to move my car halfway through my shift and I had to like move my car. While I was shopping, I had to move my car. And so I asked someone behind the desk, like, can you watch my car? Which Subaru do you have? I have a Lexus. It was my grandmother's. Damn. Oh, that's an old, so it's like 90s? It's a 90s, yeah. It's from actually 2003. It's like an old Lexus, like one of the first hybrids. um, for my other grandmother. So I have a Mink Co and Alexis. I'm a lucky gal. Wow. Foxy Brown, your grandma. This sounds okay. This sounds, this is, but it sounds like you are a glutton for punishment a little bit. Obviously you like the, what you're getting, so it's worth it to you. But I also think you kind of like how annoying it all is. I think so too. I know. I know. I think it's, it's, it's not going to last forever and I'm enjoying it. Well, While I can. Because we talked about this co-op on the podcast. I don't remember who we talked about it with, Jason. Another member. A few. Yeah, we've talked about it a few times with other members. Maybe Roman? I don't know. Do you rub elbows with local celebrities? Is Ethan Hawke in there looking at corn? Is Kareem from Subway Takes buying his David barn? I've been a member there for three years, and I have never seen a celebrity. Really? So I guess Maggie Gyllenhaal used to be a member, but I think a lot of them. Oh, I know her crunchy. asses in there and a fucking yeah and a little slip dress getting some fucking cucumbers all right all right let's let's shift gears away from the co-op um how many vitamixers have you gone through in your life Probably. Vitamix blenders. Vitamix is probably on my seventh right now. I feel like they're kind of built to last, but then you said, hold my beer. Yeah. Well, I think like, you know, when I was doing the wellness influencing thing, I had, you know, I was working with Vitamix, so they would send me, I think they would like send me one a year and I was giving them to friends for wedding presents. I was like, and they were, it was nice. They were giving me.

you know the ones with this now there's like a screen where you can like type in you know it's like it's on your phone and it's those ones are nice those are nice i don't like that i don't like that i want the engines not that i'm using one at all the engines on those ones were so good so i gave a lot of those away when i was done with my influencing i was like you know proverbially i just wanted to like throw everything away and i was just like you know gave it away put it on the street and then i was kind of start fresh so i i bought this one i think um A couple of years ago, it was just kind of like the classic. That's all you need. Just the lowest model. Can I ask what the accessory packages are like on the Vitamix? I know you can't get leather interior and a Bose sound system, but aren't there additional things you can purchase? Yeah. You can purchase different sizes. If you don't have a really tall counter, you can purchase a short stubby blender bottle and then a short stubby tamper. It doesn't create a very good cyclone, though. Thanks for podcasting with us today. They also have a very cool... tool that if you make thick smoothies like I do, that is kind of a spoon to go into the crevices of the vitamins to pull out all the extra smoothies so that you don't miss a bit. You know what? I'm glad we have a smoothie expert on the podcast today because I have been traveling a lot. And why do you think in Europe or Scandinavia The smoothies are more just like a glass of milk with flavoring. Why can't they make them thick? What is their aversion to thickness? I don't really know. Some people like thinner smoothies. They think the thickness is weird. It's not a smoothie. It's a drink. I have a theory. I have a theory. What's yours? The reason, oftentimes, a reason why a smoothie is thick is because of the ice. And they don't like ice. In Europe. Notoriously, they drop one, two cubes in there at the most. Yeah, that's got to be it. But also, in Scandinavia, for breakfast, they have cake and muesli. They're not really... But they're still much thinner than us. I had one of the worst smoothies of my life in Copenhagen. To the point where I was almost like, bro, are you kidding? To this 18-year-old, hot, blonde guy who was just like, what?

like it was it was it was so bad oh my god it was so i threw it away and i don't do that i don't waste smoothie i had one sip if you search for smoothies on like google maps while you're over there it's like mcdonald's pops up yeah yeah yeah yeah i don't know about what what it's what it's like now i mean i went to copenhagen a couple years ago but i was going to sweden a lot because i was dating somebody in sweden while my man well right well yeah And I was in my matcha phase, and I would go to Stockholm and order a matcha, and only one place in Stockholm did the matcha, and they gave it to me, and it was yellow. It was milk with a little light. It gave me turmeric. They put mustard powder in my milk. What the fuck is this? Well, the matcha makes it taste really bad, so we only put a very small match on there. Yeah, they're like, you won't like this matcha anymore. It's fucking gross. What did your ex think of the book? Did you share it with him? Did he find it on Amazon.se? Which ex? No, the one. There's a Swedish ex that is prominent. Okay. Yeah. No, we don't talk anymore, so I'm not sure. But you think he's seen that shit. Come on now. Potentially. Potentially. That motherfucker's seen it. He read it twice. He probably gave it to his kids. He probably gave it to his kids. Remember this? Remember this chick that ruined my life? I hate this bitch, but it is a quick B-treat. I did enjoy it. I actually really moved through it quickly. She's a great writer. Finish on a plane to Brussels. Okay. Shifting gears a wee bit. I saw last week you did a podcast with Susie Weiss. Mm-hmm. I didn't know who she was until a few months ago. She did a viral video talking shit posthumously about Anthony Bourdain. Do you remember that? I didn't see what she said about him, but what did she say? What did she say about Tony, Jason? She was sort of disparaging his legacy the same way that you would talk about Mac Miller, for example. Hold your ears, Leah. I know you're probably a fan.

I would say she seems to be overall kind of like an awful person to be around. How was that for you? It was not bad. No, she was a lovely, lovely gal. But we talked about, you know, there are many aspects to people. So she might have that aspect. But we talked about cancellation and the Internet and mob mentality. And we had a lovely conversation. What is your relationship to Influencer Snark on Reddit? Oh, God, I don't look at it. But did you at some point? No, I never did. I was told by another influencer that I was on there. And she's like, I look at mine. My husband had to change the IP so that I stopped going on it. I'm addicted to checking my own snark page. And I was like, I never want to be that. dark it's kind of that's like that feels like that feels like like very self-harmy um so i have never looked at it accidentally sometimes i if i'm googling like one time i had to send an article about myself and i accidentally googled myself and i saw something uh on reddit i just something about like someone said something like that my dog looks depressed um and and someone else said oh i saw her this morning walking on the brooklyn that's gotta stay in bridge pier she looked so angry while walking it's like listen if you see me walking in the morning at 7 a.m i am angry like i have a lot to do like i don't know am i supposed to be walking like yes you're supposed to walk and be happy because you don't have a real job and you get to make smoothies all day are you kidding me i guess so i guess so i i get i don't know i just was like uh yeah like i'm a person i don't know i'm not always happy are you but i think that i wonder since your heyday the the market is so congested that maybe it's different now. You know what I mean? There's more people to focus on. I don't know how that sort of divides up the hatred, I guess is what I'm saying. I think people are dedicated to who they hate. They found a way. They 100% do. I love Reddit. I go on it a couple times a week and I notice that Reddit is trying to get me to follow snark pages of other influencers. It was showing me a Taylor Swift hate.

And it was showing me a couple. I'm actually the ad. I'm the admin on that. If you could just if you could just follow along. I don't really care for Taylor Swift either. So that was interesting. But I kind of looked at a couple of those posts and it's like if you like Taylor Swift, you are not welcome here. Like these are places where people go and you have. to be a hater like i just think it's i think it's really sad you guys like a super healthy environment i really don't i don't believe that if you're happy and successful like people who are happy and successful fulfilled do not have time to be like full-time admin mods like no it's mouth breather shit for sure like 100 100 100 like i saw a tiktok that was like if you're a hater like let me see your side profile Or like your picture. I just don't believe that if you're happy and you're taking care of yourself and you have the balls to show yourself because a lot of them are on bot pages. It's like polyamorous relationships. They're all ugly. That's the thing. Show me the lie. Show me the lie. Show me the lie. Show me the lie. But that's very healthy. Do you think writing the book helped you have an even better relationship with your history? Yeah, I think so. I think it was like cathartic. It was very cathartic because I felt like I was owning the narrative and sharing my experience, which is all I can share. So it just felt very much like, oh, I'm going to share this whole experience because I survived it. And I've gotten a lot of messages from influencers who didn't survive it, I was to say, or like they've just stopped sharing online because they just found the negativity to be too much. Did it go into hiding? I don't pick on my Mormon moms. I just follow them because I like it. But I know that it can be hard out there. In the book, you mentioned your first Instagram paid post was $75, I think, for a matcha powder or something like that. Yeah. Do you remember what your last sponsored post was for and for how much money it was, if you're willing to say? I think my last.

sponsored post um like at least stories was for a healthy dog brand healthy food dog brand because i just gotten my dog samson um one of those kind of drop to your door i don't know if i should name drop them but i think i got paid like either four thousand or six thousand for like two two or three stories Okay, that's pretty good. And did Samson have to be in it or just you? No, Samson had to be in it. So we had to split up the money a little bit, but it's not too bad. It all went back into his college fund. Samson gets free food. Samson got free food. And listen, when eventually I stopped doing those ads and I just switched it back to kibble, he kind of looked at me like, Mom, are we on welfare now? Are we poor now? Mom, are we broke? Your dog starts laying out sluttier outfits for you. Go on OnlyFans, Mom. The paw on OnlyFans. I would like some wet, raw food again, please. No more kibble. Like, Mom, I thought you said you would do anything for me in my upbringing. You told me you loved me. That is okay. Well, I mean, I, what is your, what is your relationship to the Instagram platform now? Cause you're on it. Obviously you're promoting a book. I'm on it. I'm not guys. I'm not doing any sponsored stuff anymore. So I'm making this on that. Are you saying, so you're saying no to like people are coming to you. Well, like not really because I like an article came out about me a couple of years ago being like. life after influencing in the new york times and so then i think a lot of people were like noted she's not doing sponsored posts but i think i'm like i gotta open it back up to uh to sponsor there's got to be some brands who are like oh this bitches is playing hard to get she i everyone's got a number you know what i mean do you have a number I'm open to it. My fiance's like, you're spending way too much time on that. I should not be making money from it. See, that guy's smart. See, he's thinking about optimizing in the right way. He's thinking about optimizing in the right way. He's like, if you're not going to make money from this in six months, you've got to just move on. And you're like, you're spending too much time telling me this when you could be paying my rent and my life bill and buying me this bag that I have in my RealReal car. So I get my hair done and my nails done. That's weekly. That's going to be $300. Well, I know, but I am.

the last success I've been really working on book promo and also just finding the fun in, in creating content again. I mean, I think I just really burnt out on it. And like after so many years of just being just this smoothie wellness girl, I just like totally burnt out and lost the inspiration. And I think sometimes when you attach dollar signs to something that you love, all of a sudden you can lose the spark and I'd lost the spark. And I feel like I finally found the spark again. And I'm a little worried that if I start to introduce money and stuff that, kind of old same pattern will come back. No, I think that's smart. As soon as it becomes a job. If you don't need the money or you get the money from somewhere else, then why pollute it? Because there's always the risk of going back to where you were mentally. I think you'll have a healthy relationship with it now that you're married. You know, that changes things a little bit. And now that you're a paid off. author war that will change things so you know you can be more selective about what you want to do and only do something that you want to do yeah not because you need it to pay around you know yeah of all the uh kind of viral diet fads and and gimmick eating things that you've done over the years and have removed from your lifestyle are there any ones that you kind of secretly miss a little bit like that one fucked up weird diet that actually worked really well i I mean... Don't say anorexia. Do not say anorexia. General anorexia. A real diet. No, but I think that after kind of trying out all those crazy diets, I got to a place where I needed to kind of swing to the other end of the pendulum where I was like, you know what? I just need to let myself eat everything that I can. Not everything, but just stop restricting so much. I was kind of like, you know, any diet or any any sort of like ethos is bad. And now I've got to a place where I've kind of like landed in the middle where I'm like, oh, no, like I do feel better when I eat like leafy greens every day or preach, bitch. I love a leafy green. Now we're talking. Have you heard of the dinosaur like leafy green tactic where like if you're feeling like you have like.

Sometimes it's just instead of a salad, you go and do your greens, and you just take a handful, and you squish it up into a ball, and you just down it. Okay, so you're telling me I should go T-Rex mode when I'm feeling peckish? You go T-Rex on the greens. So you're saying I reach into my farmer's box, and whatever greens are in there, I crumple them up like a piece of paper I'm going to throw at my teacher, and instead I put it in my mouth is what you're saying. And what does that do exactly? primal i think it's just like i think it's just kind of a reminder to your body and it's it's it's primal as a reminder to your body and to you that like sometimes um the best things for you don't feel good and you just have to kind of do it i don't know i think um is there a vinaigrette story at all or how does that you're saying raw raw dog without a bag just greens like if you have a tuna fish sandwich for lunch and like you're like okay like i i like i mean i'm it's go go go in your home why not just add it like a handful of greens into the mouth right after. Why not, Chris? Why not? Where else is it going to put the greens besides my mouth, you little freak? Damn. No, I mean, like, I love the burn of a ginger turmeric lemon shot, you know? I don't love the burn of the oil of oregano. shot that you have when you're feeling under the weather that one's my line but it's tough that's it yeah i think i think if it don't if it don't hurt it ain't working that mentality is real i think i will say i used to be a real solid meal prepper i would spend all day sunday just prepping food i would go to the hollywood farmer's market go home and cook for hours like on my feet all day like chef style and i but then i would have food for the whole week and like i just don't find that sustainable because like now sundays and spending with my fiance and you know it just there's nothing more depressing to me than meal prepping it's really it's it's joyless life and i know it works i mean i know it works but i just there's there's things that i just cannot do because it's like bro we're gonna die if i have like two kids and i'm a nurse and my husband works at the airport then yeah we're doing that but luckily all three of us i mean not chris because he's not cooking but

We're able to go to the store and make whatever. If Thursday rolls around and I do not want to eat what I've made four days ago, I don't have to. I just go to the market and buy the ingredients every day. So it's always super fresh. It's a lot more fresh that way. It's a lot fresher. Okay, we do this. I asked this question to some of our guests on the show. I think you might be a good candidate for it. Top five prescription drugs. Oh, my God. Top five prescription drugs. Yeah. I'm not on any. Doesn't mean you don't know what the top five are. Okay. Okay. Okay. Number one, Lexaprow. Okay. You turned around real quick. Turn the ship around real quick. I've had some good times with Lexapro. Can you describe Lexapro to our listeners? Pull me out of the weeds, so to speak. I think our listeners know exactly what Lexapro is. I would say about four out of five of those girls that you're talking about in Fort Green that are kind of cute are on that Lex. Go on off the Lex. Lexapro, number one. Lexapro! Let's Bros number one. What about the Z-Pak? No. It has to be recreational. Guys, I don't know. I don't know. I read the party chapter. You were doing some Xanax. You never had Xanax before? No, but I did do Adderall a lot, so I did love it. I do think it's meth. I just saw the way that you said, I did love it, and your eyes exploded. Guys, this is how I knew that Adderall. And I was on kind of the wrong path because like everyone in college would take Adderall and go study. And I would go sit outside the library and smoke like three packs of cigs and just be talking to anyone that passed. And I just loved it. I was like, I'm getting so deep with these students. So you take enough Adderall in college and you become the teacher. Yeah.

All right, class is in session, boys. Gather round. Oh, my gosh. Professor T, I had a question. Okay, so you, okay, so Lexapro, Adderall. Lexapro, Adderall. I think maybe – oh, I did take Xanax once in college, so maybe Xanax because I was having – Once? Yeah. I didn't really like downers. I'm more of like an upper kind of gal. I get that from you. I get that from you. I see that. Yeah. Like I just want to be higher, not lower. You know, the real way to be – and this may sound crazy, but kind of play both sides depending on how you're feeling is if one recipe – I'm not going to – And also, you know, certain doctors will prescribe – you know, let's say a ketamine or an MDMA. So those could be in play for somebody like you, just to let you know. So then the last two would be ketamine and MDMA. I did, I did, I did so much Molly guys. I was doing it five nights a week. Where were you going? Like electric room? Yes. I was going to electric room, but I was also, I was mostly like, I was a regular ad verboten and output. Oh God. Oh, that's, that's. So you were a booth bitch. Yeah, I was so into the Deep House guys. That's beyond my... No, but I was going to Marquis and Le Bon. But that's rave shit. That's not cool downtown nightclub. No, but I was definitely verboten and an output kind of girl. And now the clubs are opening up further and further and further into Brooklyn. And my opinion is that they need to go back to Manhattan. What happened to going to dinner and then going to the club? Because now you have to take a 45-minute... car ride into a good point these places with those service and people are disappearing um did you guys hear about like those those three gay men in a row last summer that just like disappeared from well they that was i did not i did not we found them we found them right i know i think that they're they died or maybe they found the bodies i thought they might have been sucking dick in the bushes you're saying actually some crime no no like there's been like disappearances oh i didn't know that okay yeah that's not good

Yeah, because there's no service. They're going to be like deep, deep. These clubs are like deep, deep, deep Bushwick. They're going to a rave up in Maine or New Hampshire. I'm in rural New Hampshire. There's a big party tonight. Don't check my location. But I agree. It used to be great to go out in Manhattan, have a fun, boozy dinner with your chicas. Maybe right before dessert comes out, we do a little MDMA in the bathroom just to get the thing going. Okay, stop, stop, stop. And then you walk seven minutes and go hit the club. Obviously, I'm walking in because I know the door person. Oh, my God. So good to see you. I'll see you inside. Okay, so Molly five days a week. I mean, I feel like early young 20s, NYC girly. That's kind of just what people did to get the job done. I'm working in PR. I'm working in fashion. I'm working in blah, blah, blah and restaurants. Yeah. I just need a little something to get me going. Yeah. When's the last time you did Molly? The scene in the book where I went to like a wellness orgy accidentally. So that was about 2016 or 2017. So almost 10 years ago. Was Diplo there? What do you mean was he there? It was his house. The host. It was sponsored by his run club. Okay, so do you ever see a situation where... you know the the dj lineup is just so sick at something then you're like you know we'll do a little molly responsibly for old time's sake or no no no i'm six and a half years sober and i'm i'm like i'm i'm i'm uh that's important to me um clear clear mind um i don't need it like i went to i like like what show did i go to last year i don't know i went to a show last year i went to go see lane eight don't judge me And I had a blast. I don't even know what that is. It sounds like a sticker on the back of a truck in Orange County. What do you guys think about Fred again? Not much. Skepta's song is very, very good. That's so good. Skepta's so good. That's a very, very good song. There's like a three-day rave happening in Central Park this fall that I keep getting ads for, so my algorithm knows my past. It's like three days, Central Park. Camping up? Yeah, you can't escape the algorithm. All right. Thank you, Lee, for joining us. It's a pleasure. Thank you, guys. The book is called If You Don't Like This.

I will die. And I think you might be the first person to put your Instagram verification checkmark or your Twitter checkmark on the cover of the book. That's a nice touch. But go get the book, especially if you lived through this era. I think it's a fun read. Thanks, guys. Thank you. We'll see you soon. See you soon. All right, later.