085. - Chris Black & Jason Stewart
Chris and Jason talk about shoplifting, Marc Maron living in Jason’s neighborhood, podcasting your way through a drug relapse, our attempt to bring back appointment television, Chris’ upcoming plant-based meal plan, why being a DJ is better than being a writer, and Chris makes the argument that Hole is a better band than Nirvana.twitter.com/donetodeathtwitter.com/themjeans--- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/howlonggone/support Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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All right, this episode of How Long Gone is brought to you by Stateside with Kai and Carter, a new podcast from The Guardian. And they are using this podcast to slow down the news and wrestle with the questions that we all have about what's happening in the world. And they do it three times a week. Jason, does that sound familiar to you? We don't really talk about, you know, a lot of international global news items and climates and cultures and sports and things like that. We do talk about fashion and wellness, but for everything else, Kai and Carter are a great place. All right, so who couldn't use more news? Listen wherever you get your podcast. or watch on YouTube. Want to make a podcast? Spotify's got a platform that lets you make one super easily, then distribute it everywhere, and even earn money. We like that. All in one place for totally free. It's called Spotify for Podcasters. And here's how it works. Spotify for podcasters lets you record and edit podcasts right from your cellular telephone or your computer. So no matter what your setup is like, you can start creating today. Then you can distribute your podcast to Spotify and everywhere else, those other places that podcasts are heard. Video podcasts are also available on Spotify. And when you want to take conversations with your fans to the next level, Q&As and polls are the best way to get them talking. With Spotify for podcasters, you can earn money in a variety of ways, including ads and... and podcast subscriptions. And best of all, it's totally free. Zero catch. We've been using it ever since we started How Long Gone. And ever since I discovered Spotify for Podcasters, I feel like having the option of turning off the Q&As and the polls on the user dashboard has really helped boost my creativity and take it to another level. I highly recommend giving it a try. Download the Spotify for Podcasters app or go to www.spotify.com slash podcasters to get started.
hello chris what's up dipshit how are you oh come on be nice oh i'm just josh and teach i'd love to talk to you bro i you know some people go to church on sunday i talk to my friend tj for an hour and record it for people to hear you know and that's that's how i look at you podcasts i record it for people to hear exactly that's actually that's a good tagline for big podcast Even though there is a, you know, we'll get into that later, but there's a new development for this podcast where we may be going beyond the realm of audio. I mean, yeah. I mean, I think that it's only the next natural step for people that are as charismatic and good-looking as you and I. It is true. I mean, getting while the getting is good, you know, I'm not going to be this hot forever. exactly i mean i think we're both peaking hotness like right now so we need to capture this um on on film well maybe not film but digitally at least you know metaphorically speaking hashtag 35 hashtag 35 hashtag 35 is a lifestyle hashtag 120 is what i'm on you're not there yet but you're gonna get there i'm bringing you i'm bringing i take tj i put his big ass on my back and i walk us to the top that's what i fucking do Yeah, and the top is occupied by the three people who are still shooting medium and full format film photography. Is that what's going on? Actually, you're wrong, Al. I mean, Jason. We'll save that for later. The community is big, and they're happy to shoot and love it. The photography community is happy to shoot? The photography community that are still using medium format cameras, it's very popular among skilled photographers. Right. So 120 is medium format. What is full format? Do you know? Bitch, I don't know. No one does that. Bitch, I don't know. That sounds like some weird... What is this? Charlie Chaplin? You know what I mean? Exactly. Dude, is this a silent film? Hell no. This ain't even black and white, baby. We're full technicolor. I wish your life was a silent film sometimes. I'll hang up this phone.
What's going on with you, big dog? You know, just more fun, do-it-yourself projects around the house this weekend. Jason looking like Lowe's, looking like Home Depot. Yeah, I stay in Home Depot. And, you know, Home Depot, much like visiting the grocery store, I like that they have the self-checkout line because you can always just steal a little bit. I'm not doing full thievery, but... You've got to take a little something. Skim a little something up the top. You're doing Tim Erwan where he takes the pocket loaf and it's always bad. I like that. Don't dry snitch on Twin like that, please. Well, I think as a former semi-professional shoplifter, Home Depot was my zone of choice, as you know. That's right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But when I'm going there, I'm buying like eight. rain gutter brackets and then only scanning five of them. Sick. Whereas you're walking out with air conditioner units in a shopping cart and then putting them inside the back of a Mercedes Benz? No, this was pre-Mercedes. Once I could afford the Benz, I left the streets behind. You know what I mean? I didn't want to risk it for my family and my loved ones. Did you ever have one last ride, Ocean's Eleven style? No, I don't think so. One score to end it all before you flee to Morocco under an assumed name? no unfortunately i i just i've i've i've fleed atlanta for new york and kept the same name so i didn't really it didn't really i didn't really go out with a bang like i should have and i unfortunately you know i wasn't you know this is all happening in high school i didn't i wasn't even wearing a tuxedo to do my crimes or anything cool like that you know so i hate to hate to disappoint you but i was in i was in you know a t-shirt and cargo shorts with some vans on um the the armani tuxedo was was only to come later that's fine um
Yeah, but today I assembled a pergola in the backyard. What's a pergola? That sounds like an Italian dish. It's kind of like, you know, it's somewhere like an awning gazebo type of situation, just kind of like a wooden frame that has some slats on the top as well that's sort of meant to have maybe... You know, some vines of some sort climb over it eventually. Okay, okay, okay. And create a Tuscan, under a Tuscan sun style backyard setting here in Glendale. When Glendale goes from Armenia to Tuscany, it's just, it's a fucking movie. Well, you know, speaking of podcasting and Glendale, I learned last night. Speaking of podcasting and Glendale, we're the only people that ever talk about those two things. But yes, go ahead, please. Well, I mean, you might be singing a different tune after I dropped this bomb on you. Hit me. I was having a social D dining experience. Not your favorite K-rock band. Truly, Social D, one of my least favorite bands in the history of music. I know that about you, actually. That's why I said that. I'm sorry. You're Social D-ing. I learned that that failing podcast star, Marc Maron, lives in my neighborhood. Marc Maron, the enemy, how long gone enemy, has now picked up and moved his failing operation of bad blues riffs to Glendale. You know, I mean, you know, his... His lady just passed recently, Chris. We can't come for him with such harsh words just yet. I mean, RIP, but that ain't me. That ain't have nothing to do with me. This is me versus Mark. This is me. After the Seinfeld interview, I just can't take another step with Mark, even if he's your neighbor. But if you do make friends with him, I think that would be good for business, so I support that.
I agree, and especially if I ever need to pick up a unique guitar pedal or something like that, it'll be good to have him in my good graces. Every time you see him, you've got to scream, lock the gates and throw Nicorette at him. That's our launch of our Reels channel. Just that scene. But anyway, I'm sorry. So how did you find this out? Mark, it's a prank, Mark. It's a prank. He's never seen prank shows. He's too serious for that. True. How did you find out this information? So a friend of a friend is trying to maybe move in on Mark, romantically speaking. Damn, who's hurting that bad? you know some some people you know i think because somebody asked like you know who's your who's your celeb crush and she was like oh mark marron well he is i mean he is like for 75 years old and being like locked locked in a garage he does look pretty good to be honest and he's rich so he's fine and he he's rich and he got rich by doing what he wants and that's hot as hell you know what i mean that is actually chub inducing i agree Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't consider Howard Stern to be attractive whatsoever physically, but millions and millions of people are very attracted to him. You would absolutely let fucking Howard Stern tear down those cakes, and it's because he's cool. Mark Maron is better looking than Howard Stern, but much less cool and poor compared. I mean, Howard Stern is absolutely diabolically rich. I mean, who amongst us isn't poor compared to the Stern man? That's a good point. That's a good point. So she is saying I would let Mark fucking bust down, and then it comes up that he lives in the neighborhood. Comes up that he lives in the neighborhood, not just in Glendale, but somewhere within my zone. But I think that I would have seen him by now. That's kind of the part that's irking me because I'm out here in these streets. They know I'm a podcaster. Somebody would be like, oh, I mean, you're a podcaster. You know Marc Maron lives here. I thought that convo would have happened by now.
Well, I think now that we've talked about it on our gigantic platform, that there will be some news that comes to light of his exact address when he's home, when he's not home. Maybe a direct feed of a camera into his bathroom. You know, who knows? Listeners, if you are in direct contact with Mark Maron, Maybach Music, Maybach Maron, hit me up. Maybach Maron! Tell him TJ's looking for his ass in Glendale. Maybach Maron. I'll see you at Mini Kebab. It's on his site. DM me his address. And then I think him and I can finally get that one-on-one going. Finally. I mean, I think it would be cool, since you're welcoming to the neighborhood, to just drop off a 12-pack of Nicorette gum and some blue bottle bean for him. That's probably where he's at. What do you think? Because he loves coffee, and he sips it loudly on the podcast, and he made artisanal mugs for a little while for his merch store. Do you think he's really hitting that fire bean? No, I don't think so because he's a product of the 90s. Yeah, he might be on that Starbucks reserve, no cap. No, no, no, no. I think he is putting down a good bean compared to failing Starbucks or even worse, a Pete's or coffee bean and tea leaf. But I think that his 90s vision of quality mud. You know, he's living second wave being where we are on third and approaching the fourth wave coffee movement. Well, so what would a second wave being for Marin be? Like a nice Stumptown regular? I think it would just be like whatever the equivalent of like a Brooklyn coffee shop in 1994 where it's like, you know, this is actual like real NYC coffee, man. Honest to goodness. We roast this year. So we're not going to run into Marin at Proof or Maru or any of the good places that we frequent? I don't know. I don't think so. I think that he wants to, but just because of his age and he's set in his ways. And I also think that he probably has his own line of coffee. I think there's a local... I used to see him at this coffee shop in Highland Park when he still lived there, and he would be there riding and chilling.
All the time, and I think that he frequented the coffee shop so much that they gave him his own bean, or a namesake bean. When are we going to get a namesake bean? This is a good idea for our brand expansion. I think we need a bean, TJ. It can happen. I received a pack of beans from our friends up in Canada, I believe. Is it hitting? Tom Bergen. It's hitting, right? Yeah, it was hitting. They're listening right now. They're devoted goners. They lock the gates from the inside up in the Frosty North. Let's get it done. If you want to go in on a Guatemalan, if you want to see what that Ethiopia do. What does that Ethiopia really do, though? You know where my DMs are. That's true. We could talk deal splits. For me, Jason, it's not. 70-30 gone is not out of the question. No, once you've recouped on, obviously, your production costs, but the packaging is obviously going to be expensive. After expenses, of course. I mean, I thought that would be implied, but yeah. Well, Jason, our listeners aren't as smart as we are, so I want to make sure they know we're doing fair deals only out here. That's very interesting about celebrity podcaster Marc Maron, though. And I love that Highland Park, the worst neighborhood in Los Angeles. I'm very glad he relocated to Glendale, the second worst neighborhood in Los Angeles. Yeah, the guy wised up. And you do not believe that, Chris. I love Glendale. I'm kidding. But Highland Park is absolutely torched. And I think that Marin, it was too on the nose for him to live there. You know what I mean? You know what would be cool is if Marin just flipped the whole shit and moved to West Hollywood. That would be fire. I mean, as a real estate mogul, I don't think I would recommend a move like that for Mark. He can afford it, Jason. Just because you can afford it doesn't mean it's a great investment. Just because you can afford the presidential, Chris. Jason, the investment...
Once you freeze it down until your whole wrist is frozen. We're pulling this shit out of the icebox right now, baby. You already know what the fuck is going on. It might not be great on the resale. But what I'm saying is sometimes, Jason, making oneself happy after a tragic event is more important than the resale value. And we have to think about what Mark needs as a man, not just as a mogul and rich person. Right, right. So is the tragic event that you speak of his girlfriend passing away? Or is it the fact that he lived in Highland Park? His Jerry Seinfeld interview and the fact that he lived in Highland Park. I didn't listen to his Jerry Seinfeld interview. What's the beef? I mean, it's just insane how bad it is because Jerry Seinfeld doesn't want to be there, and it's over Zoom. It's just not good. And he's just like, what is this? Do I talk into this? No, it wasn't even that. I mean, look, we do a podcast. Sometimes it's just not good, except when it's not good with us, no one cares. When it's not good with him, it's Jerry. It's like the biggest comedian of all time, and it's not great. So the sweet irony that Jerry Seinfeld, one of the most famous comedians of all time, was in fact not down to clown. He was not down to clown. And I think Marin does this thing where he like... wants you to talk about the time you met backstage at the store. And I think Jerry Seinfeld's like, yeah, I was aware of your little ass, bro. You know what I mean? I think Jerry Seinfeld's like, yeah, I saw your little peon ass. I heard you on the radio. You know what I mean? It just wasn't... I listened to it when I was... It was pretty recent. It was when I was on my road trip from New York to Atlanta. And I couldn't believe how bad it was. It was pretty uncomfortable, to be honest. Now I want to listen. All shots. All shots. Was Jerry like, yeah, Mark, I met Lauren. i auditioned i met it was a thing i think i think that i just think that it's like i mean look this guy has done some i mean i don't listen to it that much anymore but i listen to it for a very like all people most people listen to it for a really long time and i just think it's like i just think it's kind of it feels a little irrelevant now it just it's like i think when you do a thousand interviews it's like who else who is there to talk to
You know what I mean? Also, the reality is that the more famous someone is, the less interested they are in doing your podcast and opening up and giving you a good interview. Most of the time. Most of the time. Unless you have the Brad Pitt and DiCaprio three-way with Mark Graham. That's legendary. Those are few and far between. But overall, I think he's obviously got some fucking jerseys hung in the rafters. And I love to make fun of him because it's obviously low-hanging fruit. But he is an elite podcaster. Yeah, we'll give him that. Well, speaking of other elite podcasters, Chris, I wanted to talk to you about your boy, Dax Shepard. Yeah, dude. First of all, he's not my boy. Second of all, yes, yes. Let's talk about it. The Dax man. I'm the Dax man. What do you think his real name is? Because Dax is not a name. I think it's Dax is a name like Smuckers. It's a name that's so bad. It's got to be real. It's got to be real. Okay. Like who in their right mind would be like, all right, mom, I'm not going to be called Steve anymore. I'm fucking Dax. Put Dax on the back of my fucking seventh grade football jersey. I think it's got to be real. So Dax Shepard has this podcast called Armchair Expert that's wildly popular. Which is so odd because he's just sort of known as a 90s actor. No, actually, Jason, that's where you're wrong. He's one of those guys who's on a very, very big ABC TV show. Oh, really? Yeah, I can't remember what it's called, but he's on a show that's very big. He's always been a... a busy working actor for decades but he's i wouldn't call him a household name no but he married kristin bell who is very very famous so like you know that that makes you more famous if you're on a network television show and you're married to another famous person and you have kids you're pretty famous you know would you so uh you know on the a list b list scale
What letter do we give Dax? Is he a D-lister? No, no, no. I would say Dax is honestly a B because of Kristen Bell and because of being on a... If you're on a network television show, like on a major network, that's pretty serious. He's a B-boy. I would say he's a B-boy. But yeah, his podcast, I've listened to it a handful of times just because of the guests. It's not terrible. His co-host is actually from Atlanta, and she's completely insufferable. That's a separate issue. But yeah, so I saw in the news that he relapsed because he is famously sober. He's been sober for like 16 years. And so he did this episode of the podcast that's basically like his full... confession of of relapsing and and his his sobriety was his problem was drinking and coke and he relapsed on oxycontin and like vicodin after of you know classic story like after a handful of injuries um and it was i mean yeah riding those harleys takes it out of you so sometimes sometimes a fistful of advils ain't cutting the mustard anymore it's it's really true but you you listen to it right i did listen to it yes I thought it was pretty great, to be completely honest with you, and I went into it pretty skeptical. There were a few things that obviously hit home with me. Particularly, he said this thing about, like, you... you base your whole, you base your day around like when you're going to take these pills, right? Like, cause you know that that's, so he basically said this thing about like, I woke up excited about my life because I was getting high and it felt good all day. I felt good all day long. And I totally, totally triggered to like waking up at seven in the morning and be like, okay, I'm going to, I'm going to have some water. I'm going to go to the gym. I'm going to come back. I'm going to eat something. Then I'm going to take eight OxyContin. Like you, you think about all this stuff and you have it timed out so well that it's like something to look forward to in a way. which I think he articulated that actually very, very well. Right. So that would be kind of – that's the way a successful functioning addict would operate of kind of creating that incentive, the carrot dangling in front of you of like once you finish your emails and you go to the gym and you hit your soul cycle, you eat a smoothie and shit shower and shave and then you pop.
$300 worth of pills in one bite. To be fair, I didn't want to eat, but you have to because otherwise you'll throw up. Just to be clear, you have to have something in your stomach before you take a fucking fistful of oxys. What was your meal of choice? That was when I was big into Akashi cereal. at the time with with a little almond milk because that's a nice layer you know a smoothie isn't enough honestly i've i mean these pills wreak havoc on your stomach like you're fucked it just it's the worst taking pills on empty stomach is the war is a very very bad feeling so um but yeah i thought i i thought he did i thought he i thought he I mean, I think the part about, like, gaslighting and lying to people you know is, like, to me, that's also triggering because it's like, what are you going to do? Just admit it? Like, what the fuck? If somebody asks you if you're high, you're going to say no if it's noon on a Tuesday and you're supposed to be working. You know what I mean? You're not going to. You don't want to gaslight your loved one or partner or family or coworkers, but that's the only other option other than coming clean and confessing and going to AA. Exactly, yeah. You have to gaslight. He told a pretty gnarly story, too, about getting his 16-year chip and a cake at his meeting and being fucking high while he was off the bars. that's that's fire that's wild shit like that's a wild thing i don't mean it's i mean it's it's it's cool to talk about because that's really to me that really paints a picture of like wow you're just you because that's the thing with shit like this you kind of live a double life because the secret of being high all the time is also the fun of it and in a lot of ways yeah yeah yeah you know until you know until you start realizing or somebody tells you that hey you know the the joke that you think you're playing on everyone is, is a little more obvious than you realize perhaps. Yeah. When you nod out at dimes with Yemi Ayo and he thinks you're going to die, you know, or something, maybe just, I'm speaking, I don't know if Dax knows Yemi himself, but you know, I, let me see from personal experience, but yeah, I mean, it was a pretty interesting episode. And I think that, I mean, I can't imagine what it's like to, I, you know, like this is.
you know like his wife is gonna get asked about he said this but i agree like you know his wife is doing press for a movie or whatever and she's gonna get asked about this instead of the movie you know what i mean shit like that that's like he's been very public about it so i think that he felt and i would i would feel the same if i were in his position but he felt like okay i've been public about the good stuff i have to be public about the bad stuff that's like my responsibility um which i think is very cool and i i thought i thought overall he handled it about as well as you could publicly um and i think people i think people like i i think You have to be sympathetic towards it. I don't know how you could feel any other way about it, but people are fucking insane. They were saying the phrase, while you're enjoying your sobriety, your drug addiction is just... in the background doing push-ups, basically. Yeah, which is true. So you find that saying to be true? I mean, honestly, yeah, for sure. Because you don't strike me as... I don't feel like you're looking down at a vodka and soda or a baggie, or if I pull out the backwoods, you're not looking at it like a dog licking his lips when a set of ribs comes out. no it seems like you're you've got it pretty under control but well i think that's how it works though you have it pretty under control until you don't you know what i mean and it's like that's the scary thing about it it's like i mean this guy you know dax 16 years is is a eternity you know what i mean but this this happens all the time you know in this particular style of like oh this wasn't even my drug of choice it would be like if i started you know drinking you know it's like well chris was never never that into drinking like that he called that quote unquote pussy shit his whole time so i i don't um i don't but yeah what you know what happened to chris he got really into into hoppy ipas and went off the rails it's bad it's bad it's bad we gotta go check on him um but i think that the i think that that
honestly listening to stuff like that where it really hits home is almost more triggering than like day-to-day life like where it's like oh these feelings are very familiar and this like really makes sense and speaks to me um just makes me feel like i'm in a similar boat you know which i am obviously because it's you know we all all of us have that in common you know what i mean um right but yeah i mean it's a similar boat because you you're also an aging podcaster Yeah, exactly, because I'm an aging podcaster with a really obnoxious co-host. Did you feel any type of performative energy behind it or maybe seeing it as an opportunity to capitalize on this tragedy in his life in the name of content, the way you'll see YouTubers being like... I cheated on my girlfriend and I'm going to film the apology and her crying because it's important. But in the end, you're just kind of thinking like, oh, this is going to get so many clicks. I mean, honestly, I think when you do something like this all the time, kind of for a living, it's very natural to do it on the show. You know what I mean? If something happened to one of us at this point, good, bad, or indifferent, unless it was super private, we would probably talk about it. Yeah, that's true. I don't think that. I think that also with sobriety, I think sharing is such a big part. But I would talk about it because it would make good content and it would get some more clicks, baby. But I think people are, it's just different. I think there's this weird kind of honesty and making amends and all that stuff that comes with. And I think that's part of why he felt compelled. Look, I mean, I'm sure he's thinking like, but that's the thing with a guy like this. It's like, it's going to come out anyway. You might as well control the narrative. When you're famous, it's different. You know what I mean? If something happens to one of us, no one cares. So we're choosing to talk about it because we want to. And hopefully those intentions are pure. But I felt like, I mean, did you feel like it was performed? I didn't. I didn't feel like it, but I felt maybe like I could hear in his voice him wrestling with the idea or maybe the guilt of coming out and trying to figure out a way to come out and talk about this.
on the show and maybe justifying it as like a healthy example for other people about yeah how these things are real situations that can happen you can be you know this rock solid sober guy for almost 20 years or whatever kids family success you know make a career on on honesty and then you know having a real fuck up and being like you know what do we do in this situation and how do we spin it how do i justify That episode is going to make him tens and thousands of dollars. Yeah. I mean, actually, I don't think there was an ad on it, to be honest with you. Oh, okay. That's okay. Well, maybe he's a better man for doing that. But I just don't think that. I think that I understand. Or, in fact, he is a better. better person for doing that my mind goes there too because i think we're both very skeptical especially of like a celebrity like i always think the intentions are kind of impure and maybe i'm giving maybe i'm giving him the benefit of the doubt because of the situation how i relate to it which is which is you know that's just what i'm going to do as a human being because that's how i feel but i don't think that he i i i don't remember an ad um yeah i don't remember one either actually can you imagine reading a manscaped ad in the middle of that that's that that that is truly pure comedy right there or if or if the ad was for like What's the Malibu Rehab Center? Yeah, yeah. So this week, big shout out to Betty Ford. Enter Betty Ford. Enter Betty Ford 20 at checkout to receive 20% off your $100,000 stay. Just promo code DAXSHEPARD on BettyFord.com for a free consultation. No credit card needed. No credit card needed. But yeah, I thought it was good. And I think that it's like that to me is kind of an example of how this medium, which is usually kind of just full of horseshit, can actually be used in a pretty powerful way. You know what I mean? Where it's like, oh, you actually have followers that care about you because it's so big that they want to hear this from you. They don't want to hear it from page six. Yeah. And I think it's a good example of...
content creators and what what content creators have to do nowadays to really you know have a successful fan base which is being brutally honest about yourself and your life and revealing about yourself and your and your personal life in a way like that that type of honesty and openness and connection is how you get somebody like you know a random actor guy from the 90s that you know you would be like oh yeah i saw that guy on law and order episode or whatever it is to become this like you know guy who is a millionaire off of talking to his bros at his house you know yeah i mean i think that the yeah i think that the the podcast thing is i mean yeah i think that if you start off famous it's a very interesting career path because you're going to make money off the rip basically You know what I mean? You have fans already, and I think that's why. Especially if you use Anchor, you'll be able to start making money off advertising on your first episode. Good point, Jason. I did not realize that, actually. But I do think that the, you know, it's like that's why all these celebrities are flocking to the medium because they're like, oh, this shit's easy and I can make a lot of money. Yeah, the similarities between this and celebrity DJing. is not going unnoticed by them genes. Wow, them genes has been, both of his industries of choice have been co-opted by celebrities. How does that make you feel, Jason? Well, it makes me feel like the things that I do for a living are not too hard. I would agree with that. You just put up a gutter, bro. Most people couldn't do that. Remember that. Yeah, Paris Hilton and Pauly D. You can't do this fucking shit, bro. You can't live this life. Wilmer Valderrama and Shaq. Just because you're good at dunking doesn't mean you're good at playing dubstep, as I am fucking loser. That's true, Jason. And I'm glad that you made it out the other side. But yeah, I mean, look, I would listen to that episode of Armchair Expert if you're interested. I would say it's a good podcast episode. It's a good example of what podcasting can be beyond just laughing and making fun of Marc Maron.
Do you look forward to being more open and revealing about your personal life, family, and struggles? Yeah. Are you going to take a page out of the Dax book? I can't wait. We're not going to do it. I can't wait until you interrogate me about my life. No, I mean, I think I don't. I'm not going to interrogate you, but I will force you to talk about family problems. I wish I had family problems, unfortunately. I feel some guilt about that sometimes because my family life is so solid. It's staggering. You should feel guilty, you fucking piece of shit. I know. I have a lot of guilt. It's kind of part of the whole being white thing. Yeah, baby. Well, you know, I feel like we have a big announcement to make, TJ. We do. I was foreshadowing earlier in the episode. You know what it is, Jason. We're two guys that have been in this podcast medium for quite a long time. I wouldn't say we're – Jason's a triple OG. I'm merely an OG. And we haven't mastered it because much like Tai Chi, this is an ongoing – this is bonsai. You know what I mean? This is an ongoing pursuit that takes years and years, and it grows and morphs and gets better. But you know what Jason and I were missing? And what I think the listeners of this podcast were missing is appointment viewing. Do you remember appointment viewing, Jason? This episode of How Long Gone is brought to you by Squarespace. Obviously, Jason, you and I spend a lot of time on the World Wide Web, so do our peers, our listeners, our friends, our colleagues, maybe even your parents if they're freaky. And if you're doing anything in the world, writing, taking pictures. I do topless boxing. You need a website. Exactly. A website that works, that does what it's supposed to do, that allows you to be creative, but also business-minded. Jason, there's one place to go for that, Squarespace. Yeah, Chris, I'm over here. I'm modifying calculators and putting Claude inside of them so you could cheat at school. And I just want a place where I could have everything all in one place. I can have the SEO tools.
So those future graduates can find me and, you know, I'm able to accept quote unquote donations for my services that might be gray area. You know what I mean? And then email campaigns. Hey, I got a new, you know, 2.3 version upgrade. Boom, boom, boom. Get the analytics going. Raise some money. Show your investor all of your cool analytics of what's going on. They're going to want to get in early, and we can use Blueprint AI to make your website look as professional as your competition, if not more. So head to squarespace.com slash howlong for a free trial. When you're ready to launch, use offer code howlong to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or a domain. All right, this episode of How Long Gone is brought to you by Quince. Jason, the temps are warming up. It's getting hot out there. Summer always changes how I get dressed. I need pieces that feel lighter, more breathable, and that are just easy, but still put together. I don't want to look like a slob. That's why I keep coming back to Quince. They focus on high-quality essentials that feel and look amazing. Breathable linen and soft organic cottons. Well-made basics, but without the luxury markups. That rare balance where everything feels elevated. but still effortless. Yeah, Chris, linen season is here. I wore a linen blazer to dinner a few nights ago in the warm California sun. But, you know, you got that Italy trip coming up this summer and quality European linen pants and shirts. Upgrade that look starting at just $34. You know, if you get a nice linen suit, a little t-shirt underneath it, some chill shoes, you're looking good, but you're staying cool. The inside of your special areas are nice and dry as you turn up with your besties. So elevate that summer wardrobe. Go to quince.com slash how long for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns, even on a nice holiday now available in Canada. That is Q-U-I-N-C-E dot com slash how long. That'll get you free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince punto com slash how long. Oh, this is huge for me personally. This episode of How I'm Gone is brought to you by TaskRabbit. Oh, baby, let me tell you something. This is not a joke. I use TaskRabbit a lot.
Because I can't do anything. You need some art hung? TaskRabbit. You need a fucking something put together? A cabinet? Got to reach that cheese grater on the top shelf? TaskRabbit. Anything you need, TaskRabbit can take care of it for you. And, I mean, it... How it works, TaskRabbit connects you with skilled taskers in your area. They can help you move. They can assemble furniture, repairs, yard work, mounting, and more. You can search for a tasker based on cost, skill set, availability, and past client reviews so you know exactly who's showing up and can have confidence that they know what they're doing because taskers have assembled over 3.4 million pieces of furniture, completed 700,000 home repairs. handled 1.5 million moves, and the numbers are just going up, Jason. Yeah, throw a little money at the problem. It's not so expensive. And that job that you really don't want to do is something that another person out in the world is very good at doing and would gladly do it in exchange for a little bit of money. So when life happens, your to-do list grows. Get ahead of it now and get $15 off your first task at TaskRabbit.com or grab the TaskRabbit app using promo code how long taskers book up faster, especially for same day tasks. So book trusted home help today. That is $15 off your first task using promo code how long with the TaskRabbit app or at TaskRabbit.com. I do remember appointment viewing, you know. I remember every Sunday afternoon, I would get excited to watch my HBO shows all together, my Curb Your Enthusiasm, Ali G show, Sopranos, Entourage, see what those boys are up to. All in one night, you build up the anticipation all week, and then you watch it live the same exact time that everyone else in the world is watching it, in your time zone, respectively, of course. And you get to build up a little something called anticipation, which ends up making things better. Making things better. And I think that we were approached by our friends at Mad Decent Protocol. You may be familiar with the head honcho over there. His name is, we call him Wes.
You guys probably know him as Diplo, a.k.a. Ripplo. But, you know, we were approached by Mad Decent Protocol. They have a very successful Twitch channel. And, you know, Jason, they wanted to bring a new kind of content to the Twitch platform. Because, to be honest, when Jason and I were first approached, we were skeptical because Twitch is some nerd shit. No cap. Yeah. And we're not going to be... We're not very good at Fortnite, and we are... Chris is pretty good at DJing, but I don't know if anyone's going to really want to watch him do a live stream from his kitchen. We had to think outside the bun. We're happy to announce a new venture here. It's called How Long Gone Live, and it will be on weekly Thursday nights, 5 p.m. Eastern Time, 8 p.m. I'm sorry. Yeah, 5 p.m. Pacific time, 8 p.m. Eastern time. 8 p.m. Eastern time. They call that the friends slot. Yes, this is must-see TV if we want to bring it all the way back. It's reserved for only the highest of Nielsen rating. And to be honest with you, Jason and I have not downloaded or used Twitch ever. But we have a full team of people in our downtown LA studio that are going to engineer this for us. And we're going to bring you multiple segments, monologues, just more time with Jason and I that you're desperately craving. I don't know if you've seen this, but we're going to be using green screen technology to superimpose images onto the background. And it's going to be exciting. You will be able to communicate with us directly, and we have some ideas. We're tossing around some ideas now, but one thing that we've solidified is that as a service to you, our listeners, we're going to allow you to submit a social media profile. Join us via Zoom while we, what would you say, critique is the word, Jason? Yeah, I mean, critique is the gentlemanly way to put it, but it could get into a roasting territory.
You will send us the profile of your choosing that best represents you. It can be your dating profile. It could be your gram. It could be the Raya. No LinkedIn or anything like that. No, LinkedIn. I prefer LinkedIn. But anyway, you send this stuff in. We bring it up on the screen, and we walk through it together, and we give you advice on how to make it better and to tell you how stupid you are in real time. This is appointment television, guys. Yeah, and if you have a great profile. then you have nothing to fear and nothing to worry about. If you are looking for honest advice, feedback, and you want to workshop some new picks, we're here to give it to you pro bono. This is pro bono, baby, because again, we don't digitally panhandle. We just keep giving you hot, hot fire for the low, low price of free. We provide goods and services for a fee. We do not ask you for something for nothing. So if you don't have a Twitch account, go ahead and sign up. How long gone live? Every Thursday. It's 5 p.m. Pacific, 8 p.m. Eastern time. We're going to check temperatures and have guests come into the studio. We're going to have some celebrities. It's truly a variety show. Think of Saturday Night Live, but funny. You know what I mean? And that's kind of what we're going for. That's kind of what we're going for with How Long Gone Live. Yeah, it'll be like if Saturday Night Live were funny. It will be like if Desus and Miro moved a little bit slower. It would be like if Howard Stern was a little gay. That's us. That's what our show is going to be. That's us. So you can stay tuned to all of our social media accounts, obviously, for more info as we lead up to this. But we're very excited. We had a dry run, a rehearsal, if you will. It's a tech rehearsal. A tech rehearsal is what we say in the biz. And honestly, it got my fucking chub going. I don't know about you, Jason. I left there excited. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It made this idea feel like a little slice of reality. And at first I was a little, you know, it's a little daunting switching from the audio format that I'm so used to. You know, it's a lot more work producing video content, but the ability for us to use imagery.
and video and other visuals to tell our story to the world okay is very exciting it's very exciting and thanks to our thanks to our friends uh at mad decent um for for for approaching us thank you for the the services they provide because let's be honest jason they're doing all the hard work we just show up and we fucking let it spray but they got these guys on these computers these gaming pcs this is some real dork shit that we're using to our advantage we're basically co-opting nerd culture and making it cool and i think we're on to something something yeah uh you know it's we need to break into the gaming market as it slowly takes over our world and you know thank god we have we have this platform because chris is very bad at league of legends i've seen it i've i've never guys just to be clear i've never owned a video game system except a game boy maybe when i was when i was a child um this is not us co-signing gaming this is us co-signing the future of media and that might be the twitch platform Yeah, Chris was too busy getting pussy to be playing video games. I was actually fat and a little more into baseball. Yeah, I mean... Me too. What do you know? That's cool, bro. If you want to give me that, I'll take it. But yeah, we're very excited. So join us on Thursday. We'd love to see you. And our friend Andrew Steele will be manning the keyboard to respond to all of you in a timely manner. So we've got a full team ready to go. Yeah, yeah. Don't come in here trying to troll our chat room. We will shut you down, bitch. We will shut you down. We're in bed with Big Twitch, so they know us, and they're willing to go to war for us. Yeah, you can't SWAT me or DOX me. I wish you would try, bro. Come meet the Toolie if you wanted. I wish you could, bro. But yeah, that's the biggest development in How Long Gone Land, I think. Is there anything else going on, Jason?
In terms of State of the Union stuff, not really. If you ordered a Sex in the City shirt, those are shipping out this week. Thanks to everyone who copped. We've been upping the order amount, so we're making even more and more. And you guys are copping, so thank you very much. You are copping. And we have, obviously, some more hot fire in the pipeline. I'll go ahead and tease the collaborative tote bag with Sam Jane of Jam Store, who you're probably familiar with. I don't want to let any more stuff out of the bag here, but it's an exciting time here at How Long Gone Industries. Yeah, sometimes even we will collaborate. Who, me and you? No, no, no, just us in general. Oh, because I hate collaborating with you, I was about to say. Exactly. That's tough. I don't wish that on my enemies. But, you know, Jason, I also dipped my toe into another pool this weekend. Okay. And I'm not talking about the solar-heated saltwater joint at the Villa Carlotta. I'm talking about an Instagram takeover for Matches Man, MatchesFashion.com, an online retail destination. Yeah, you are getting one step closer to Saqqara Life sponsorship by doing influence. Oh, Jason, actually, it's funny you mentioned Saqqara Life, bitch. I am there. I'm getting the Pacquiao this week. Oh. I had a great thing. Thank you for former guest of How Long Gone, Chrissy Rutherford, for plugging me with the wonderful, intelligent, brilliant women at Saqqara Life. They agree that men are underserved in their community and that giving someone like me the pack is going to help them encourage men to sign up. Unfortunately, I'm only working with a small fridge here, so I'm trying to find a ghost kitchen fridge to store all of my Saqqara life. So, Jason, I might have to come to Glendale every day and pick it up from you. We're going to work out. How much room can overnight oats take? Bro, it's a week's worth of meals, dude. I'm going to lose 10 pounds in a week on this shit, dude.
About fucking time. But also, I mean, honestly, the story of Sakaar Life was really interesting. We'll get into that in a later podcast, but I didn't really know. We'll get into that in a later podcast once I see the fucking check, bro. No, we're going to have one of the co-founders of Sakaar Life on this podcast to tell the story yourself. Somebody pinch me. I know you don't be too excited because you need to, you need to, I want, I'm ready for you to pivot to, you know, food that tastes fine, but makes you live better. Cause right now, right now I feel like you're too into food that tastes good. And you honestly, Jason, you're a little lethargic sometimes. Um, yeah, that's true. I don't know if that's the, I don't know if that's the edibles or the fucking carbs or what it is, but I need a little more pep and TJ step. Well, I mean, I mean, I've been drinking more coffee. Does that help? I mean, I think that's one step in the right direction, but some of this gluten, some of these carbohydrates, I think they're weighing you down. Mentally, mentally, not even physically. You look great. Right, right, right. Mentally, mentally. But I have been running you around in circles on the tennis court. If I'm lethargic, what would that make you? Jason, I'm injured. Give me a fucking break. I'm still recovering. Maybe I'm mentally injured. Did you ever think about that? You are mentally injured, and you have been for a long time, but now this is affecting my paycheck, so it's time to talk about it. Okay. Well, you want me to get fired up? Is that what you're saying? We need to optimize TJ's brain. So I don't know if we need to call Joe Rogan and get the Alpha Memory Focus pack sent, or you need to start snorting Taika. I don't know what it is. I don't know how much more MCT oil I can take before I start getting a leaky gut, Chris. That would be bad, actually, because the stuff that you're eating, I don't want it to leak. Okay. So, I mean, that's a good idea. I do like living and eating like that, so I guess I should be introducing less pastas and breads into my diet and some more steamed spinaches and things like that. Well, they let me know at Sakara Life that this week is, I think, a raw cinnamon bun week. I need to hurry up and sign up so I don't miss that. That's a very popular item.
Raw cinnamon bun week. Well, that just means it's on the menu this week, so I need to jump so I get that in my... Can you explain what this is for our listeners and myself who aren't exactly sure? It's just a meal plan, but it's healthy and plant-based and gluten-free. So it's vegan and gluten-free? I don't know if it's actually vegan. I don't think it is, but it's... I'm sure it's close. It's a health conscious meal plan where you go online, you sign up and be like, I want this salmon and brown rice, dumb thingy in here. And then I want this seitan scramble here. And I want my keto crumble cauliflower pizza here. And then they drop off a cute. tote bag on your Venice Beach doorstep. The thing about it is that interests me, obviously, it's only hot chicks, right? It's only hot chicks and influencers, which is what I'm trying to be. So this is a no ugos, no fatties meal prep solution. I don't know. I'm sure you start uggo and fat, but then once you have this car life, then it's lit, baby. You know what I'm saying? The before and after tells the story. No, but they were very nice, and I'm very excited to try it. And I was campaigning for it so hard, and I'm glad it actually worked. I was simping. Well, we look forward to the unboxing. Maybe you can bring one of your meals over to the house and let me get a bite. Jason, I will let you get a bite, King. And while we're talking about getting a bite, when's the next dispatch from the TJ Substack? You know, I'm going to try and go weekly. weekly dispatch with it i'm in the middle of writing uh writing a new piece right now and i have a lot of a lot of ideas in the chamber but i'm going to try and do um a uh a three and one substack plan three three weeks out of the month is is is free one week out of the month is behind the paywall wow so you do expect people to pay for your content
Yeah, I mean, I've had up to seven people say that they would subscribe to it for money. I've been contacted by at least seven individuals with real email addresses saying they would happily pay for this. But I mean, after writing one thing, I have, I don't know, like 600 subscribers now. They're all unpaid. Would you say that went viral for you? I think for me... I would say viral. And it had a lot of people in prestigious media outlets praising it. Can you thank me for bringing those people to TJ? Thank you for the repost. So we have the good people at Fast Co, GQ. The list goes on. These aren't just lowly staff writers. These are EICs, baby. We only fuck with EICs here. But also, Jason, you've brought me to the well of an EDM DJ. And I'm doing the reverse for you. The same thing for you in a different category. It's weird because the DJ world, it's such an unrespected, undignified world where I could make $1,000 or $3,000. I could make $3,000 an hour getting drunk and doing bumps under a table. Or you could write a viral piece for a prestigious publication and spend two weeks and three revisions illustrated by an amazing artist. and get the check for $300 six months later. I love the DJ community. That was not a shot at your community. I know, I know. But I was more so kind of juxtaposing the two career paths that I have touched in my life. Yeah, I mean, you were really on your way until your cool guy-ness got in the way, which I'm not going to let happen now. Yeah, don't worry. The cool guy-ness will not get in the way of my future writing career.
But, you know, why would somebody want to write and get paid, you know, truly peanuts by a newspaper or magazine or website when, you know, you can just have like fucking 25 people subscribe to your sub stack and you're making more money? Because one is cool and one isn't. But, you know, maybe I'm actually cool. I'm cool guy myself. You are the king of nothing cooler than getting the bag, though. Yeah, but I still crave the approval of big media, and maybe that could be my downfall, but luckily I've secured other additional revenue streams. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Would you liken it to maybe editorial versus commercial work? One helps the other. One back scratches the other. Jason, if I come out of pocket for one more fucking Vogue editorial, I'm going to lose my mind. But luckily, Beats is calling and I'm still getting this work. We have to create things that can go on the grid, not on the stories, Chris. And sometimes you have to financially invest. that's really a deep statement actually we're creating stuff to go on the grid not the stories is is the most profound thing that i've heard you say in a long time and i think it really that could really cross boundaries i think that's another viral hit for tj yeah i'm always saying real profound things like that but this is this this is entering gary v territory of like create create we should be creating moments for the grid not for the stories and does it pass the grid test If the answer is no, back to the drawing board. We always have to be optimizing. Is this freaking palm tree cool enough for the grid? Chris asks himself. And if the answer is yes, bam. Don't come for me. Don't do that. Not on my podcast. Is this picture...
Of an avocado green vintage Mercedes-Benz good enough for the grid? No, it's stories only. I don't care if it has a novelty. Now you're talking about a photo that I've actually posted before and I'm feeling truly unhinged. No, I swear to God that was off dumb. Swear to God. You're a monster with it, TJ. That's just how well I know you. You know that Sampa song, No One Knows Me Like the Piano? Yeah. I'm the piano and you're the Sampa? Yeah. You're the piano, and I don't know whose mom's house it is, but you're reading me, and I love it. I have a piano in my house, bitch. I don't have to go to some mama house. Oh, I forgot you have a piano, but you can't tickle them keys. You can play them keys like Alicia. I can't play them like Alicia or Sampha, but... If I play only the black keys where every note is in tune with the other... Wait, we do not fuck with the black keys in this podcast. Fall back, bro. Fall back, bro. Look, I'm awful at piano. I can only play black keys songs. I know you like Ford commercials, but you got to elevate your taste. Where is Sampha? I feel like Sampha... I was thinking about... because it was the anniversary of nothing was the same so i was listening to too much so then i went into samfa like where like that motherfucker has really got the gift where is he do you think he's just i don't know off cycle right now and he's making music i've been thinking about samfa as well recently of like yeah he he really came out everyone loved his album when it came out and yeah he had those drake songs and it's been quiet from uh from team sam for like three years now or something let me get in touch with the guys at young turks records and we'll find out when the seven inches dropping yeah hopefully he's not off the oxys or anything like that you know i fear the worst now truly i know i mean but honestly truly a and a blessed voice like an incredible incredible musician i really i miss that actually so i was listening to him i was listening to some some sample this week to just you know get back in that zone Chris, you're going to have to listen to some nude, bleach blonde James Blake until then. Bro, James Blake, you can have that loser. That motherfucker, he's truly cucked himself into obscurity. Yeah, I unfortunately feel like I have to give James back to the streets. James belongs to Jamila only now. No one wants him. What other people have been ruined, rotten from the...
inside out imploded by their partner i honestly can't people in history well it's it's tough because it's like an indie guy it's like he's cool and then he dates this i i don't know i'm trying to think of other people in that position where they're like very cool pitchfork approved and they go date like a famous actress it usually works out because it makes them cooler and more famous you know but yeah i mean did Is John Legend and Chrissy Teigen another example of that? Isn't it weird that John Legend and Chrissy Teigen are cooler people than James Blake and Jamila? I don't know. I think Chrissy Teigen is the worst of all of those people. So I don't know if I can agree with you. No, I don't think so. I think Jamila is worse. I mean, Jamila is truly cursed, but I think Chrissy Teigen's cursed and her platform is bigger, therefore making her more annoying. Yeah, but if you were to hang out with both of them in person, like went out to dinner with them. Oh, Chrissy would definitely be more fun to hang out with. Exactly. And so would John. Chrissy and John. I used to be a Jimmy Blake stan. I booked him. We DJed together. Did you and Jimmy go back to back? No. We went back-to-back for one song when he switched on after me playing. He can't DJ, though, can he? He can DJ. He's not great, but he definitely can DJ. Who's the number one musician DJ that you've played with that was surprisingly good and that's not their job? They're actually a musician, but they're that good of a DJ. That's actually a very good question. Maybe Perry Farrell. Damn, really? I was about to say, shit, Perry Farrell. But he probably learned how to DJ in the 90s on vinyl with a bunch of Ketamine Raver guys and has been doing it. I mean, I don't think Jamie XX counts. He's a good DJ. Jamie XX is a real DJ. I think of him as a DJ almost first sometimes. Yeah, I might have to get back to you on that. I mean, I can do 1,500 words on that. I mean, I think that's interesting because that time period during TJ Hay Day,
was very much a lot of like oh yeah mgmt dj said it's like these guys get up there and fucking are high on coke and can't do anything you know what i mean yeah yeah yeah it was bad but it didn't matter like the the block party dj set was truly atrocious but damn i were pulling their hair out we've seen a lot of block party dj sets between us bro but i mean like the first the first james blake record like that came out i was probably going to a breakup you know it was raining all the time And I would just listen to it over and over again and be like, damn, this motherfucker's spitting. And now, like, I can't. It's just hard to listen to his music when, you know, he's singing about Lil' JJ. I mean, look, I agree with you. I mean, I don't, I rarely, I can't think of another instance of that extreme. Yeah, I mean, but a lot of people, who else has been ruined by their partner? I mean, some would say Kurt Cobain since he got murdered by her. Oh, shit. No one. But I actually don't believe that. I'm a Courtney. I prefer Hull to Nirvana, so I would never say that. Oh, God. So you really think that Courtney did not orchestrate his murder? No, no, dude. No, no, no, no. What do you mean no? Most people disagree with you. I don't care. I'm a Courtney Stan. Courtney's the real legend of the crew. Courtney, honestly, I would rather listen to Hull 10 out of 10 over Nirvana any day of the week. That's how you can't be trusted. I mean, look, Hole had some good songs. Hole had some good songs. But how much of that was because of Courtney Love? Well, if Billy Corgan and Kurt Cobain wrote it all and she smashed, then she earned it. Like, what the fuck? It's all her, bitch. What do you mean? no i mean like she's not writing these songs that are yeah but her man if her man if her man is writing the songs she's bringing more to that band than melissa off dumar so okay yeah that's that is true bro celebrity celebrity skin bro awful the second track of celebrity skin is an absolute fucking movie malibu absolute fucking movie yeah but you know that's but
I'd rather listen to that than a person. She's performing those songs. Those aren't her songs. Jason, I don't have the credits. Somebody else is writing all that shit. I don't have the credits in front of me, but they're her songs. Like, they're her songs. Courtney Love should be exalted and held up as a goddess. I honestly think she's an incredible celebrity. She's very funny. She's dated only legends, and the music is that good. That's all I look for. That's all I need. She is widely known as one of the most annoying celebrities in... in the entertainment industry. People hear her coming down the hallway and turn around and run in the other direction so they don't have to talk to her. Not me, sweetie. She gives me a kiss on each cheek and we talk about Dior and then she hits the stage. Speak for yourself. This podcast stands firmly with Courtney Love and I will overrule you in any way about that. I do not. That's something I'm very passionate about, Hole, and I think that that record is... I would rather listen to the first three songs on Live Through than any Kurt Cobain songs. Except for the David Bowie cover. That shit slaps. From Unplugged. You have a twisted view of music, my friend. No, you're a Nirvana apologist. Let's just be real with what it is. What is there to apologize for? They're one of the greatest bands of all time. But here's what I'm saying about that. You never listen to Nirvana. You never think about Nirvana. You don't. No, I don't. Exactly. Hole is I think about and listen to, therefore making them more relevant to me. So I don't think about Nirvana enough, and you think about Hole and Courtney Love enough. Yes. Therefore making them more relevant. Because we're talking about... We're not talking about chart position. We're not talking about cool sweaters. You know what I mean? Like what Kurt Cobain is really known for. Also, to be fair, Dave Grohl has kind of sullied the reputation of the great Nirvana. 1,000% agree. But also your skewed view of relevancy is not in line with the majority of people uncool or cool. I understand that, Jason. That's why I'm different.
yes and there's sometimes it is different good and cool and then sometimes it was different yikes i think there's a lot of listeners of this podcast who love hole as much as i do and might stand with cb on this Yeah, if you're listening to this and you like, and if you think that Hole is a better band than Nirvana, please let me know. Please let me know so I can freaking return your t-shirt money. We don't do refunds at How Long Gone. Don't get it twisted. Yeah, that's only because of COVID. We can't do any returns or exchanges right now. So sorry, guys. Do you think we could get Courtney Love on this podcast? Yeah, I think so. And even though it's recorded over fucking Zoom, I'd still have to burn and throw away this microphone. You're such a hater, bro. I mean, I should make you a wholeness. I'm a hater because Kurt Cobain, one of the greatest musicians to ever lay it down on a fucking Fender Strat, wrote some amazing, amazing, tortured, heart-wrenching tunes that change music forever. was straight up killed by her. Kurt Cobain is just the hot topic Elliot Smith, bro. And you can, that's on God. Sometimes, maybe Elliot Smith needed, Elliot Smith was so on hot topic that a little bit of hot topic actually made it better. I know. Like, I just, I think that Nirvana could be one of them. But also, Elliot Smith did not rock. I mean, I love Elliott Smith. Elliott Smith has some rockers, bro. LA, the song rocks. Division Day, that song rocks. I just don't believe Kurt Cobain. You can't headbang. No, you can't. I'm saying that that's my issue with Nirvana. I just don't believe him. Like, I don't believe the shtick. And I might be wrong for that, but it just doesn't feel real to me in some ways. Do you believe the shtick of Courtney Love? No, but I believe she doesn't either. That's the beauty of it. I think she, I think it's a shtick. I think Kurt thought it was real. That's the thing I don't believe. Courtney Love is a performer. That's why that Courtney Love is an actress. She's a singer. She's a performer. She knows what she's doing. Kurt Cobain was like, she's a crisis actor. Kurt Cobain is the kind of guy who would like burn himself with a cigarette for attention. You know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I don't believe him. Like I don't know. I would kill somebody for attention.
Maybe. But I did see Courtney Love play, and it was not great. Of course not. When I was at the Yola Mezcal Festival, I was seeing all my favorite female artists like Licky Lee, Cat Power, and Courtney Love. But she did play a couple of my joints, and I was fucking psyched even to hear a bad version. Man. I want to see. What? Go ahead, bitch. How did you take the news? Do you remember where you were sitting down when you heard that, thanks to COVID, the Yola Festival was not going to be happening this year? That's why I lost the final set last week. It's because I was just so distraught. I was so distraught over the cancellation of Big Yola Mezcal Festival. Take the Fuck Yeah Fest. Take Bonnaroo. But do not cancel my Yola Mezcal Festival. I'm not kidding you. The Yola Mezcal Festival lineup on paper was... more up my alley than maybe any music festival I can think of. I agree. It was looking kind of nice. It had Cat Power, Charlie XCX, and... Licky Lee and Courtney Love. Now, let's not... I don't like when you laugh at Licky Lee because I think Licky Lee also made an unbelievable album that is sadly underrated, Jason. I agree with you. I agree with you. But when I hear Licky Lee and festival, I'm thinking Licky's more of a... We're doing 800 through the door. I never learned from 2014. That record is an absolute fucking classic, and I think it needs to get more respect. That's a black bop. That record slaps, and the new one sucks, but that one is a full classic. That shit, I love it. I'll listen to it. I'll pull it up right now. I just want all my female queens to sing. That's all I want to hear. I'm so sick of male voices, Jason. You know what I mean? It's about time somebody said it. All I want to listen to is female musicians, and that is my... Maybe at the end of this episode, for you, Chris, as a treat, I will close us out with a little leak. Do you have a leak request? It's got to be from that album. It's got to be from... All right, I'll choose my favorite tune. Well, my favorite tune is Gunshot, number five. That shit slaps. Big drums on that.
Big drums. Will it make the cut to be playing us out at the end of today's episode? Sadly, no, but it is a good song. Wow, Jason. Why would you tell me you're going to do it and then not do it? Would you say that that Licky Lee album is your Kid A? No. I'm not pathetic enough to like anything as much as you like Kid A. Wait, what is going on? So Radiohead predicted the end of the world? Yeah, I haven't been able to break through the paywall, but the Wall Street Journal did write an article entitled How Radio Had Predicted Our Tumultuous Times 20 years ago. There's a new book called This Isn't Happening, exploring the rock bands eerily. The eerie connection between... Kid A, the same way that everyone likes to say. The Simpsons predicted everything. Tom York predicted Donald Trump. That's crazy. A lot of foreshadowing. I will read it. For some reason, I clicked on the article on Wall Street Journal and it did work. We'll see. Maybe our friend Neil Shaw can come on this podcast and chat about it. Is that the writer of the book? It is. I'll sit that one out. You two dorks talking about Radiohead for two hours is more boring than their music. Chris, you're just so jealous that you don't have the illustrated Wall Street Journal or New York Times bust of yourself. Yeah, you're right. I am. I would love that. That would be cooler than liking Radiohead, but I haven't gotten there yet. I'm not there. Hopefully one day I can earn that. Neil Shaw, he writes about pop music for the Wall Street Journal. We will hit up. good old Jacob Gallagher, get the pluggy, and then we're going to do a full three-hour episode about Radiohead's kid A and its connection to Al-Qaeda as well as the InfoWars universe and how Tom York predicted 9-11? So you're saying that this article says Tom York predicted 9-11? Tom York, 9-11 to my heart.
Okay, on that note, Jason, it's been wonderful to talk to you on this beautiful Sunday. I'm going to go outside and really catch some motherfucking rays. You know what I'm saying? Hell yeah. Give me your little pasty ass some sun, baby. Bitch, I'm looking. Are you kidding me? I'm looking like brown sugar out here. Don't get too tan. Don't get a little red. For our Twitch show... Don't worry. Our hair and makeup team will be there to make sure that my nose is powdered. Can we... Here's a question. Can we do face filters on this show? Or no? Is the technology there? I think the technology is there, but I'm not there. I think that's too corny for us. Copy that. But yeah, anyway... How long gone? Thursday, 5 p.m. Pacific, 8 p.m. Eastern. You don't even know what's in store. It's going to be a motherfucking motion picture. We also don't know what will be in store. We also don't know in store. It could be a television show. We'll see. Thank you, Jason. Thank you, listeners. We'll talk to you later.
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