092. - Sean Fennessey

All right, this episode of How Long Gone is brought to you by Stateside with Kai and Carter, a new podcast from The Guardian. And they are using this podcast to slow down the news and wrestle with the questions that we all have about what's happening in the world. And they do it three times a week. Jason, does that sound familiar to you? We don't really talk about, you know, a lot of international global news items and climates and cultures and sports and things like that. We do talk about fashion and wellness, but for everything else, Kai and Carter are a great place. All right, so who couldn't use more news? Listen wherever you get your podcast. or watch on YouTube. Want to make a podcast? Spotify's got a platform that lets you make one super easily, then distribute it everywhere, and even earn money. We like that. All in one place for totally free. It's called Spotify for Podcasters. And here's how it works. Spotify for podcasters lets you record and edit podcasts right from your cellular telephone or your computer. So no matter what your setup is like, you can start creating today. Then you can distribute your podcast to Spotify and everywhere else, those other places that podcasts are heard. Video podcasts are also available on Spotify. And when you want to take conversations with your fans to the next level, Q&As and polls are the best way to get them talking. With Spotify for podcasters, you can earn money in a variety of ways, including ads and... and podcast subscriptions. And best of all, it's totally free. Zero catch. We've been using it ever since we started How Long Gone. And ever since I discovered Spotify for Podcasters, I feel like having the option of turning off the Q&As and the polls on the user dashboard has really helped boost my creativity and take it to another level. I highly recommend giving it a try. Download the Spotify for Podcasters app or go to www.spotify.com slash podcasters to get started.

Hello. Your voice just sounded like when you answer the phone, but it's like a pre-recorded message and it says, hello. You have been selected. What's up, bro? I just finished finessing my kettles. No time to shower from the yard. straight into the straight into the pod damn he goes so hard and and just to be clear i i've seen you work with kettlebells and you you are proficient i wouldn't say you're finessing the bell though uh i yeah okay that's fair that's fair to say but you know a man of my shape is not really finessing much except for uh you know the pen and the pad in the booth Well, we know you have bars on Deckington, but the 45-pound is tough finesse for even Joe Rogan's of the world. Yeah, and it's even harder when it's not in the shape of a gorilla's head. That helps propel me to even greater gains. I understand that, and I hate that for you. Luckily, I was surfing on it.com this morning, and I believe the... the kettlebell in question is available again. Does your Chrome browser auto-load to Onnit.com as the default tab whenever you open it up? Yeah, some people might open to Gmail or their company website or even Twitter.com, but mine, Onnit.com, because I might need some alpha brain. You never know. Even Twitter.com, Chris, who would do something like that? I honestly, I don't know. I don't know. A person like you would have no idea who would do something like that, right? I have no idea. Have you checked out the Twitter website or do you only look at it on your phone? You know that they have it on the web as well, right? I only use it on the... I try to use it only on the website. I use it on the website more than I use it on the phone. TBH. Oh, shit.

Damn. Get down or lay down, TJ, you loser. Okay. Your old head behavior continues to thrive even in a pandemico. Pandemico grande. Well, I had a few things that I want to talk about today, TJ. I'm glad. We got it on the docket. CB's coming in with a motherfucking agenda, and we're starting off with Emily in Paris. For one second, I thought I was in trouble, but now I realize it is, in fact, worse. I would rather you have a bone to pick with me than to hear your praises of the failing Emily in Paris program. I just can't believe. I just think it's insane how people intellectualize something that is meant to be stupid. You know what I mean? I think it's like, of course it's stupid. Of course it's not realistic. It's a television show, guys. What do you think it's going to be? Yeah, but the way you're talking about it is a little bit like how somebody might talk about WWF wrestling, for example. Of course it's fake. That's why we like it. We're in on the joke and everything like that. But there are a lot of differences because I don't think that... Emily in Paris is in on the joke the way that something else might be is the differentiator at play. I think that Emily in Paris is trying to be a good, cool show, and then it ends up doing the exact opposite of that, being a not-cool, bad show. Well, if it's trying to be a cool, good show for a 16-year-old, then it's probably succeeding. For a 40-year-old British Vogue columnist, it's like, of course, this isn't for you. I held off on watching it for a while because I didn't care. And then I was like, oh, let me try it. And then I watched four or five episodes before bed last night. I felt like an addict, bro. I couldn't put it down. I'm glad that our guest today is a professional in the world of film and television content. So I can't wait to hear him weigh in on this.

uh emily in paris with with my lp just uh just this morning when we were walking walking the dog through through glendale and and i was like you know i because i tried to watch it with her i was like hey you know everyone on twitter is talking about this new show emily in paris it's the same person that wrote sex in the city my girlfriend loves sex in the city who you know what freak in in this in this town doesn't and i was like you know let's let's give it a shot and I put it on for like 35 seconds and she was like, nope, and shut it off. And then I had to wait until she fell asleep in order to dig in. And I watched one and a half episodes of it and I couldn't do it. But that doesn't mean I'm down for the count. I'm still willing to give it one more shot. And I think I have to get the set and setting of the viewing perfect if I'm going to pull it off. Well, you didn't even get to the point where the hot blonde comes into play. So you're obviously not going far. I met the perfectly Asian pied-à-terre who teaches her how to live in Paris, and these French people are freaking jerks. But really, the real issue of this program is the romanticization of Paris as a city because it's kind of a dump, TBH. I don't mind going there, but first of all, I saw the abs on Emily. Emily ain't eating a chocolate croissant every day. That's fake for TV. I don't know, but our boy, Chef Flynn McGarry, his breakfast every morning is eating a croissant, and he's a cut little twink. You know what I mean? Well, that's because God blessed him as a cut little twink, and I don't think there's much carbs could do to affect that. You don't think God blessed E&P with a smanging little rig? Did you just say E&P? You fucking heard me. Her name, she's Lily Collins, the daughter of Phil Collins. Oh, really?

Yeah, so I'm sure her mom is some famous model or actress. You know what I mean? Yeah, she has to be, because Phil himself, he's not exactly a spicy meatball when it comes to looks. He's a fine-looking fella, but... No, but that's what happens, CJ. He's not raising crotches from here, from Sea to Shining Sea. That's what happens. Ugly dudes get rich and famous, and they're able to bed these beautiful models and actresses and create... it girls and that is truly that is the cycle of life that i pay attention to most and that that is the formula that you need to create in order to find success when your goal is to have hot children because we all know through time you know over the years that a hottie procreating with another hottie those things cancel each other out and you end up with a with a full freak looking child you know You get the uggo child that could do a little light modeling in their younger days, you know, when it's cute and funny, but then, you know, they're not walking any runways. Yeah, yeah. I mean, who are some of the, you know, because like Schwarzenegger's kids, like Schwarzenegger, he was like a buff, hunky guy, but he was also kind of like a ridiculous looking person when you really think about it. Like his face was like traditionally not handsome, but people wanted to fuck him because he was a big buff guy. Shriver, you know, beautiful woman, blah, blah, blah. The kids come out looking delish. I mean, it's true. Well, Shriver, I mean, look, that's a Kennedy bloodline, bro. I mean, that's the dream. I mean, that's as good as it gets for a recruit. So what do you think I need to do? What situation do I need to create in order for me to truly enjoy E&P? I don't know. Obviously, I enjoy things completely raw, uncut. I don't know is not good enough. Well, you should probably hit the bong. Maybe take a shower. You know what? Yeah, you definitely don't shower enough. What about if you maybe set the tone and did like a Parisian theme night? See, that's what, you know. Now you're using your brain. You hit the bong.

You have some fresh Madelines from the oven. Maybe a freaky red wine. I pull a baguette out of the freezer. You have on your Breton shirt. I'm striped down to the socks. I'm not eating a bitch-ass tartine baguette. I'm eating a real-ass baguette. Not a fucking tech bro bag. You're dressed like Picasso. Maybe you get a cheeky... Stussy makes a beret. You could get a streetwear beret. I'm going to have to borrow one of Bay's Hermes berets. Yeah, that could be cool for you. And then I think you just plop down on the fucking couch and tune in, bro. What about the whole vibe on the show where she just kind of quietly goes from having 30 followers on Instagram and then she posts three pictures of her... Mmm, croissant yummy, and then now she has 4,000 followers, and she's like a social media phenomenon. What's up with that? I'm not going to get into the ins and outs of this, but there's more nuance to that, and it doesn't just grow completely overnight. There's an event. I don't want to give it away. There's an event that happens where she gets retweeted by a prominent person. Not unlike Jason yesterday, where Jason got tagged in a story by superstar DJ and our boss, Diplo. Yeah, I mean, I've seen Chris jealous a lot of different times in my life. Never have I seen Chris more curmudgeonly and butthurt after learning that Diplo did not include Chris on the story as poor fella. I mean, it's okay. I just wish the revisionist history of that serve being in was not implied because the serve was in fact out. Done for the cameras, which I'm happy to Hollywood shit when Diplo shows up with the red camera. We do what we're asked. But I just want that to be clear, that that serve was not in. But it did look nice for the cameras, and that's what Hollywood's all about. Who won? I think we played, what, seven sets yesterday? Do you remember what the final was? Was that a five to two? Is that where we shook out at?

It was 4-3, actually. It was 4-3. Okay, that's good. I was nipping at your little size 17 heels, bitch. For our listeners, a tennis update. Chris's tennis game, he's going from a tennis boy to a tennis man very quickly. I'm going to have to start practicing my serves on our off days and really watching the tail of the tape and doing some more video research. We are months away, maybe days away from Chris being an opponent that's worth playing. Oh, wow. Thank you for those kind words from above King. Well, the, you know, I, I was suffering a setback on my, on my right ankle, which I think with my steady state cardio that I've been doing high incline on the treadmill with a nice walking pace to get my rehab on, you know, I believe I'm coming back and Jason, honestly, I'm scared for you because if Chris has his athleticism, you have nothing, you know? So, cause the way you move around the court is, is it's not. fun to watch. You get it done. So you're saying the only reason why I keep beating you every single game over and over again is because of your injury. And that's the only reason. Not because I am good enough at tennis to beat you. No, no, exactly. It's, it's, it's my unforced errors and injury. It has nothing to do with, you could be anybody. It doesn't matter. You're just, you're replaceable. Yeah. A cement wall would, would, would exactly yield a similar score. Exactly. That's exactly what I'm saying. My next question for you, now that you are, you know, how, how, how long, you know, how long until, until that ankle, you know, let's say. nothing else bad happens to you your healing continues on this same pace how many more days or weeks or months do i have until until party's over for for big tj and and you start really cleaning cleaning me up i would say i would say two weeks i would say two weeks so i would i would go ahead i would go ahead and call your lawyer and get your last rights you know in order get your will done okay so so then okay we'll we'll do this in two weeks

That's when we can start playing tennis where we do real serves. What do you say? Okay, that's fine. Okay, great. I've never heard of better. Okay, that's fine. In my entire life. Because it is fine. Wow, the mud. Well, I love talking about tennis and how ugly you look while playing it, but we do have a guest today. Wes liked it. Go ahead. Wes did like it, but who knows what Wes is into? He's a freak. We have our friend Sean Fennessy, who's the head of content at The Ringer. He also is the host of the very popular podcast, The Big Picture, which they talk about movies that they love to rewatch. But it's not the rewatchables. No, that's a different podcast. Which is a different Ringer podcast where they talk about movies they like to watch. damn they have a lot of podcasts over there huh yeah the ringer be ringing them pods out and you know we good for them well they have a studio and stuff you know what i mean let me we'll talk to about it let's give them a buzz okay this episode of how long gone is brought to you by a new podcast from the guardian stateside with kai and carter this is covering a lot of our bases jason it's a it's trying to slow down the news and wrestle with the questions we all have about what's happening in the world and i know you particularly have quite a lot of questions a lot of questions but how often because we do this podcast three times a week and that's a sweet spot how many times do they do three times a week and i i have a feeling just based on the platform and these talking points that they're maybe going to be covering different stuff than we do that's just a guess the guardian is not some billionaire owned They're not afraid to say what they want to say, brother. Yeah, Rupert ain't sniffing around in what journalists Kai Wright and Carter Sherman are up to over there at Stateside. But yeah, listen wherever you get your podcasts. You can watch it on YouTube. It's three times a week. And who couldn't use more news? You know, especially when it's not, you know, from here, let's say. Give it a listen. Give it a listen. This episode of How Long Gone is brought to you by Squarespace.

Obviously, Jason, you and I spend a lot of time on the World Wide Web, sort of our peers, our listeners, our friends, our colleagues, maybe even your parents if they're freaky. And if you're doing anything in the world... writing, taking pictures. I do topless boxing. You need a website. Exactly. A website that works, that does what it's supposed to do, that allows you to be creative, but also business-minded. Jason, there's one place to go for that, Squarespace. Yeah, Chris, I'm over here. I'm modifying calculators and putting Claude inside of them so you could cheat at school. And I just want a place where I could have everything all in one place. I can have the SEO tools. So those future graduates can find me and, you know, I'm able to accept quote unquote donations for my services that might be gray area. You know what I mean? And then email campaigns. Hey, I got a new, you know, 2.3 version upgrade. Boom, boom, boom. Get the analytics going. Raise some money. Show your investor all of your cool analytics of what's going on. They're going to want to get in early, and we can use Blueprint AI to make your website look as professional as your competition, if not more. Head to squarespace.com slash howlong for a free trial. When you're ready to launch, use offer code howlong to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or a domain. All right, this episode of How Long Gone is brought to you by Quince. Jason, the temps are warming up. It's getting hot out there. Summer always changes how I get dressed. I need pieces that feel lighter, more breathable, and that are just easy, but still put together. I don't want to look like a slob. That's why I keep coming back to Quince. They focus on high-quality essentials that feel and look amazing. Breathable linen and soft organic cottons. Well-made basics, but without the luxury markups. That rare balance where everything feels elevated. but still effortless. Yeah, Chris, linen season is here. I wore a linen blazer to dinner a few nights ago in the warm California sun. But, you know, you got that Italy trip coming up this summer and quality European linen pants and shirts.

Upgrade that look starting at just $34. You know, if you get a nice linen suit, a little t-shirt underneath it, some chill shoes, you're looking good, but you're staying cool. The inside of your special areas are nice and dry as you turn up with your besties. So elevate that summer wardrobe. Go to quince.com slash how long for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns, even on a nice holiday now available in Canada. That is Q-U-I-N-C-E dot com slash how long. That'll get you free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince punto com slash how long. Damn. You know what, Jason? Let me just say, it's a pleasure to be fucking talking to an elite podcaster once again. It's been too long. We've been talking to these damn scrubs. Scrubs. Yeah, we get on the FaceTime call of them, and they have two soup cans tied together with a string as their fucking microphone. It's bullshit. Honestly, it's disrespectful to us and the art form of podcasting. So it's nice to see a guy with a mic boomed into the screen. He's got his AirPod Pros in. You know what I mean? It's a nice book show. Sean, you like to hit the mic from the side, which I've noticed is a trend that I've seen lately on podcasters because you've got to get the audio and you've got to get the face-io. in it. So when did you become a side saddle rider? You know, ever since I started moisturizing and I felt like I could really show the brightness on screen, I feel like I needed to get the pop filter out of my face. So I'm a side guy now. And I've been told many times by my producer that this is a big mistake because the audio sounds like shit. I'm looking good, so I feel good about it. Okay. That's all that really matters in the visual medium of podcasting, right? Exactly. Exactly right. Well, I have a lot of technical difficulties on this podcast because I'm not really proficient in the technical arts. I'm more of like a creative off-the-head guy. Jason's more of the nuts and bolts cords guy. Cords guy? Fuck you. But I know with your operation, you have a full squad, so you just send them a file and it's good to go, right?

Yeah. Walk me through your squad management procedures. Well, we have many talented producers at The Ringer, and I feel very grateful to be working with them. And yeah, I mean, I certainly don't edit my own show because I don't have those technical skills. Yes. Yeah, exactly. And I think that everybody brings something different to the table. I think we need to recognize who's good at what. A lot of us, we're trying to do too much. I think what I've learned from my corporate coach is that you only should do what you're good at. Tell me more about what you're good at. Sean, this is the exact type of thing that I'm into as a podcaster. When you ask that question, Sean, do you mean professionally or with this podcast in particular? I mean, stunt for me, you know, whatever you need to speak on. I think Sean and I would kind of like to hear about Chris. I believe that Chris, I'll get him started off with a softball. He's what we call a closer when it comes to business development. What he can do is he can get in there with his silver tongue and get people to sign on the dotted line even when they don't really want to or don't even like him. Wow. So you're like a boss tweed type. Yes, exactly. Yes, thank you. That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said about me. They'll give him money just so he won't talk to them anymore. Which is, you know, the squeaky wheel gets the bag, as they say. That's true. Other than that, I'm not really totally sure. My trainer tells me I'm willing to suffer, which I feel like physically, when I'm exercising, he tells me I'm willing to suffer, which is taking me far. So that feels pretty good and authentic to me. And other than that, Twitter. So that's about all I have to offer, really. That's the Chris trifecta. Can one still be good at Twitter? In 2020? You know, that's honestly a deep question, and I am proof that you can. No, I mean, I think that it's pretty torched out there right now as far as like...

People just being so earnest or I hate earnestness. That's my least favorite quality in people, especially on the internet. Twitter to me is for the discussion of ideas and roasting only. There should be no, you know, earnestness is, it doesn't have a place there. But I think that, I mean, I wait, it's the thing I like the most on the worldwide web, you know? So I feel like maybe I'm giving it a lot. Therefore it gives a lot back to me. Wow. Do you agree with that? I think I might agree with it. I'm very much into Instagram as well as Twitter, but I don't know. I think I find myself spending more time on Twitter, and I might get a little bit more out of it. The visual medium has kind of died off for me. I'm not looking for women to have sex with on Instagram anymore, so that was a big kind of knock in the wrong direction. But I get more laughs, more memes, more intelligent conversation out of Twitter. And then Instagram is kind of like a job to me now. I open it up. I have so many DMs that it's just like, ugh, I can't deal with this right now. People are like, hey, man, cool shirt. Where'd you get it? And you're like, ugh. I can't be bothered. You guys are burdened by greatness. It's unbelievable. You're like Orson Welles. Yeah, you get it, Sean. Yeah, I'm sure that you're spending a lot of time on the World Wide Web, specifically Twitter and Instagram, correct? Yeah. You're an Instagram nut. I wouldn't say I'm a nut. I've taken a very specific tact in the last year or so, which is that I'm all about narrowcasting. I'm like, where can I find the people? That are not necessarily my people, but want to be a part of what I'm a part of. Which is to say, do you own a lot of Blu-rays and you want to talk about how that's cool? I'm your man. Like, that's my shit.

So she's a Letterboxd girl. Is that what you're saying? Precisely. Can you explain what Letterboxd is? This is something I hear thrown around a lot. Are you verified on Letterboxd, by the way? I don't think they do that. I don't think that they verify. I think I bring a certain amount of clout to the table, but I don't think that they formally verify. You want me to explain this service? Yeah, please. I honestly, because is it just a DVD rental service, or excuse me, Blu-ray, or is there more? It's not a rental service. There's no renting. It is literally just a place where you can log and review movies. So you can say, last night I watched Silver Bullet, an adaptation of a Stephen King novel that came out in 1985 starring Corey Haim. I searched for Silver Bullet. We're familiar with the title, Sean. Can you name the original story's name? Of course not. Okay. That would have been fire. I think it's like Cycle of the Werewolf or something. Anyway. Basically, you look up Silver Bullet. You're like, I just watched that joint. I'm going to log it in my diary. The world is going to see that I just watched it, at least the world that is following me. Come follow me on Letterboxd, please. And then you can look at the reviews that other people have logged. You can look at the rating they've given it, one through five stars. You can see if people have it on their watch list, et cetera, et cetera. It's basically movie, nerd, Twitter, circa 2010 when stuff was still good. So you're able to form a community. You can find like-minded individuals based purely on their thoughts and words and reviews of other films. Correct. You just nailed it. And I'm assuming people would always say like, oh, you can use Instagram to meet people and you can use Twitter as a dating app, whatever. And people are like, oh, I can't. The ultimate is to find your life partner on the Venmo comments or something like that. Do you think people have become couples and married each other from just letterbox interactions? If they have, I think that's very sad. But I wouldn't be shocked. And I honestly love it. I'm going to say yes. I love love. I mean, imagine if you really prioritize that.

the criterion collections, you know, with, with a life partner and you find somebody who you are perfectly in sync with on, on so many films. And then you find out that they're a goddamn baddie. Yeah. I mean, that, that'll, that, that's marriage material, right? Put a ring on it. Ring part two. I'll just say, as a married man, I've never gone letterbox cruising, and I don't intend to go letterbox cruising. But hey, different strokes, different strokes. This is something I think somebody should explore in a long-form article for a major publication. We're a little too old for this. I think the future generation, maybe our grandchildren will be doing that. But speaking of subscription services... I know that you are still using the Netflix DVD mailing service. Is that correct? Facts. These are facts. Yes. Chris, what are your thoughts on that? I mean, look, I love old media, so I support it. And I hate to admit this to a true film buff, but I've got a lot of holes in my purview when it comes to the films. I haven't seen a lot. What's on your hit list? What do you think it's shameful that you haven't seen? Literally, I haven't seen anything, dude. I've seen like 25 movies maybe that are classics. I haven't seen. I just don't. I didn't do it when I was growing up, and now it's very hard for me to sit still for that long unless I'm in a theatrical experience. What about Avengers Endgame? Have you seen that? I hate superheroes. I hate cartoons. I hate anything fantasy. I hate horror. I basically want like Noah Baumbach movies only, like that kind of vibe. I can feel that. And coming of age. I love coming of age. That always gets me choked up. You just said you hate earnestness on the timeline. On the timeline, not in a film. Two very different categories. Wow. Interesting. Okay. So you're safe and protected and not public. You're willing to cry. Exactly. If I'm on a plane and school ties happens to be streaming, I might also stream some tears down my little puffy cheeks. Jason, what's your preferred genre of movie?

romantic comedy or documentary okay that's very basic bro um okay that is true do you want me to be more specific yes i'd love that romantic comedies with hot people in it with some british people in it um i and then documentaries that will eventually make me cry. I think the main reason why I watch movies is to have an emotional dopamine release where I get to crying. So you're vibing on Richard Curtis movies and gosh, what's a documentary that makes you cry? No, you're giving him too much credit. He literally is talking about The Assistant, the Anne Hathaway movie. That's called The Intern, Chris. The Intern, I'm sorry. Sorry about my friend, Sean. When I was younger, my fave, I used to really like dark comedies like The Cable Guy and stuff like that. Oh, sure. I was a dark comedy boy earlier. Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on. The Cable Guy is considered a dark comedy by you or by the world? The world. Sean? I would say it's a dark comedy relative to where Jim Carrey was at at that time. but maybe not in the truth. It's not like Dr. Strangelove. It's about a cable guy. I was about to say, that seems like a big caveat there to tie that, to tether that to Carrie's career arc. If you look up The Cable Guy on Wikipedia, it says, The Cable Guy is a 1996 American black comedy film directed by Ben Stiller. So it's not even a dark comedy. It is, in fact, a black comedy, the darkest of comedies. And I'm glad we have a pro here, Sean. What is the difference between a dark comedy and a black comedy? And be careful with your answer. Because my favorite black comedy is Martin, as well as the kings of comedy. I knew that was coming. As well as the queens of comedy. Don't sleep on my ladies.

I was not shared these materials before the podcast, so I'm not prepared. Would you like me to actually define black comedy? Well, I think there's something in the tone, right? That there's a depth, an unflinching. darkness in the tone that is also absurdly funny um and that that doesn't speak to the the black american experience like the films you're talking about those are completely different we don't delineate in that way okay um but this is something that you know could make light of of you know like bad things in life like disease and death and and things yeah and like cable you know it's like k like getting cable Stuff like that. Yeah, yeah. You know, Sean, it sounds like you might not even have seen the cable guy. No, no. No, I have. I've seen the cable guy many times. That's the one where he says smoking, right? Oh, come on. No, no, no, no. The cable guy is where they go to medieval times. That's right. I remember that. He does the Silence of the Lambs bit, right? He drops the meat on his face. That's right. Hello, Clarice. It's so good to see you again. It's good shit. Is this when I quit my own podcast finally? I didn't know this was going to be the straw that broke the camel's back, but you guys are pushing me in a direction that I don't want to go. Did you guys know that The Cable Guy is one of the most important comedies made in the last 30 years? Yes, I did, Sean. Please expand on that. The Cable Guy was a flop. It was considered a flop, even though it made a decent amount of money. But it was produced by Judd Apatow, who you may be familiar with now. But at the time, he was a relatively unknown writer and producer. Yes, pre This Is 40, pre Knocked Up, pre all that shit. And when the movie failed, it set him off on a new course to become a writer and director and have more control over the fate of his work. And we probably wouldn't have that whole run of aughts.

comedies without the Cable Guys failure, Jason's fandom notwithstanding. You're welcome. Wow. That's actually cool knowledge. I didn't know that at all. Cool knowledge. That's what I'm about. I'm full of cool knowledge, bro. So whenever I'm on a bad Zoom meeting or call, there's always a white guy with a white bookshelf behind him with a collection of cool toys, gadgets, and pieces of art. And you have many, many box sets of Blu-rays, DVDs behind you. What's that collection hidden for right now? How many units do we hold? I've been asked this before because this is my office setup. I'm sorry. I refuse to answer that question. Are you familiar with the YouTube trend from about a year ago where a British kid would ask people how much their outfit cost and they would break down each piece of clothing? Are you familiar with that? It was really good. And then he did one with Drake, and Drake broke the record, obviously, because he was wearing, including his timepiece, he had over $1 million on his body at once. Wow. Chris, are you wearing north of a million right now? I'm unfortunately well south of a million because I don't like watches. I find them restricting. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Before you go any further, when you say that, do you mean restricting because you find time to be a restricting construct or because you don't like how it fits on the wrist? Guys, honestly, it's both. I'm a very active person. I find the weight of the Richard Milley and the AP bust down to be too heavy. So I keep the collection in the safe at my parents' house. It just seems just in case. So Chris, you haven't even considered a plain Jane? I mean, because without all the additional adornments, they will weigh a little bit less and potentially be less constricting. Unfortunately, I only get my timepieces from Icebox, a store in Atlanta. Icebox made it. I don't think they really understand the concept of playing Jane. I think they think of that as a lyrical device, but not an actual application to the timepiece stratosphere. That makes sense. Okay, that's fine.

I guess that is what you should prepare for, Sean. It would be cool if you took every DVD off the shelf. Excuse me, Blu-ray. No disrespect. If you took every Blu-ray off the shelf and just told us how much it costs, we'll do it at a later date because we'll send our camera crew and stuff to really capture this moment. Obviously, the value of DVDs and fine timepieces are pretty much in line as well as a good investment in your future, I'm assuming. The value only increases with time. I just think of this as my wealth porn. This is really my own lifestyles of the rich and famous circumstance. I got my West Wing box set up here just shining. I got Elia Kazan, the collected films. This is all north of Amelie here. I'm very proud of it. Can I ask you, where is the best place to get Blu-rays on the cheap? I mean, and he means cheap, Sean. I don't know what you mean by that. This podcast does not make a ton of money, is what we're saying. I'm saying, have you ever bought, and you can be honest with us, this is a safe space, have you ever bought DVDs that might have fallen off a truck? Or do you think all of these are purchased legally? Next question. Is this being recorded? Well, he works in the media. Everything's above board, guys. No, he's a screener guy, though. He works in the media. That's a good point. But gone are the days where you would receive the physical copyright. It's all a link to the net. You know, it's a good point. However, we're in a moment right now where movies are, if not totally dead, dying. And so all of my movie... centric content making is mostly about stuff that came out 5, 10, 20, 50 years ago. So I'm just continually building the archives. I'm an archivist. I'm a librarian at this point. Wow, that's cool. Yeah, I only like old music too, but only from like the 80s and 90s when bands were popular. You know what I mean? Where are you from, Sean? I am from Long Island, New York.

A little town called Huntington Station. Were you into Head Automatica? I don't know what that is. Okay, good answer. I just wanted to know because Long Island had a very popular hardcore and punk scene. You know what I mean? They did. I actually had several friends in high school who were very into that scene, but I was not into that scene. Because you were at home in the basement watching movies alone? Yes. That's pretty much it. No, I was an aspirant rap kid at that time. I'm sorry. You were a what kind of rap? Aspirant rap kid. I was aspiring to be a serious rap fan. I'm sorry. I thought you were naming a Def Juck style label there that I wasn't familiar with. I apologize. You were aspiring to be a fan, not aspiring to be a rapper. Correct. Never wanted to be a rapper. Have you seen me? Have you heard me speak? That's just how white you are. Actually, I think you have a pretty nice speaking voice. I would love to hear a few bars if you have any. Why, thank you. Yeah, as soon as we stop recording, I'll send you a voice memo. Are you still listening to rap music? Yeah, I am. My relationship has changed a lot, though, because I'm old now. But I am still paying close attention and trying to... understand why i feel connected to it and the truth is i don't know are you guys still listening to rap music do you listen to rap music i know chris there's not that many bands in rap these days uh well don't discount brock hampton like that okay not on this podcast collective are they not i would i i think yes well i some would say a movement but collective is fine would you say that i wouldn't some would uh i think that um I listen to new rap music to keep up, I think, because I feel like my job is to keep up with everything, except movies, obviously. What job is that? Being a podcaster and also a person who considers himself to be on the pulse of happenings culturally. He knows a little bit about a lot of stuff. I don't care about sports, and I don't really care about movies. Those are my two blind spots.

Those are the two things I do for a living, so that's tough. Fascinating that I'm on this show. That's why we brought you on this show, because I'm trying to understand sports. You know what I mean? What's the big deal? You know what I mean? Sean, what is up with sports? I've been hearing a lot about this stuff lately, and some of them are getting to be pretty big. What sports are you playing nowadays? Thank you for the question, Mr. President. Sports is a tremendous activity to partake in. Many people are saying sports, and I would like to hear about these sports. They're coming at us in all different forms. No, they're a thing. They're a thing. They're a thing that get people through the day. I am grateful to have been working in a job in the media in which I'm not covering something like politics, in which I get to cover sports and movies. And that's been the focus of my career for the last 10 years. Sports are in a really weird spot, though, guys. I don't know if you've been following what's going on during the pandemic, but they were all happening at once. and yeah complicated ways some people have contracted covid because they're traveling to go play sports some people have not because they've been playing in a bubble and uh some of it has been successful and some of it is not but fewer people than ever are watching sports i don't know if you know about the rating situation right now It's not looking good, and I was not kidding earlier, but I did follow the NBA bubble, and I read a great story in the New York Times Magazine a couple weeks ago about it. I can't remember the guy's name, but he went and did the whole thing. And the fact that those guys, of all the athletes, did not break the bubble except for a homeboy to go to the strip club is wildly impressive and shocking to me because NBA players are known to be out of control. I'm impressed that they respected COVID-19. They're known to be out of control? Known by whom? When it comes to the ladies, bro, come on, NBA players are dogs. They are dogs.

Can't cosign any of that. I'm not asking you. I don't even need you to cosign because I know it to be true, but I'm saying the bubble that it worked for any, honestly, for any sports league with people that are rich and famous and not used to being told what to do is impressive. Maybe, Chris, your angle is people who you're surprised that there were no COVID outbreaks. just based on the clothing decisions that these 19-year-old billionaires are making. Yeah, exactly. I thought you actually contracted COVID when you wore full Amiri in the tunnel. But I guess that's actually not true. But what I'm saying is, I do think, why do you think the NBA was able to achieve this when Major League Baseball and the NFL have had such a difficult time? Because the bald guy is awesome. The Kermish. Adam Silver is definitely a factor. He's a very good commissioner relative to the other terrible commissioners in other sports. Meaning he's respected by the player. He's like Adam Silver is actually respected by the players. Yeah, I think it's not just that he's respected. I think it's that they have a much more clear sense of how to communicate with each other. There's not as much labor strife in that sport as there is in other sports right now. Also, I mean, they just they did the bubble. No other sport is doing the bubble. Yeah, that's true. That's the number one reason they just didn't. Setting aside the one dude who went to the strip club, as you pointed out, you know, they they shut it down. They didn't let anybody in or out except for families. And that was that was actually really, really smart. And unfortunately, the league lost a lot of money because they couldn't have fans in the stands. And that is a big part of the revenue of the sport. But from a pure like. From a content perspective, let's keep it very real. From a content perspective, I thought it was great. The games were really good. The televised aspect of it worked really well. It was not too many games in one night. We got a LeBron James finals. If you care about basketball, it was actually a good time for basketball. I just think the problem is there were nine sports happening at once. Baseball, hockey, football.

soccer were all happening at the same time and they were all and they were all somehow like the finals all at the same time as well exactly all the postseason because everything was so fucked up this year so you know it's a complicated time um i think all in all sports did a good job all things considered yeah i mean we'll see what happens with the nfl though things are kind of wild right now they're in this jenga tower of if they keep moving games then stuff might be irreversible so we'll see what do you think about What do you think about everybody just getting COVID and then they're playing and it's fine and America gets what they want? So you're pro-herd immunity. Sean, have you ever heard a little guy named Donald J. Trump? So Chris is what we call positive positive. He wants the NFL to be a pause party. No, I'm kidding. We can't catch it if we all already got it, is what Chris is trying to preach on this podcast. That is a joke. I'm kidding. But I do think that the NFL... um is historically corrupt and like not you know the the owners and the just the and the players and they can't get along so i feel like that does that you think play a part in the way this is working or people are the players happy to go to work or do you think the players would prefer to be like not participating right now because of covid uh i think that every sport has given players the option to opt out if they wanted to And if you opt out, that means you don't get paid. But in the NFL, for example, if you opted out, your contract just rolls over to next year. One year does not come off of your deal. So you're still guaranteed that money that you're guaranteed next year. That's only for players who have contracts, though. For guys who are trying to make the team or whatnot and trying to make a living, they can't opt out. But, you know, the NFL... Did anybody opt out? Yeah, I mean, literally the best player on my favorite team opted out, which was not ideal. But he also was like... Yeah, well, I mean, kind of. But he's rich already. Ish. Ish. Rich enough to take a year off and get that money next year. Theoretically, yeah. If the NFL is still standing, who the hell knows what's going to happen with this? I mean, they're not. It's just it's clearly not as safe because they're now into week five and there are still positive tests coming through. And so it's not ideal.

I also, you know, I love the discussion around the NFL, particularly the CTE stuff. I find it really compelling because I think that like Chris loves CTE. No, no, no. I actually think it's really interesting because it's like it's really it's this weird thing that is so serious and so real, but it kind of comes down to parents. You know what I mean? Like allow allowing their children to play. And there's always going to be parents that I think, you know, tie their children's skills to like this income level that they want to be a part of. You know what I mean? And might be putting or allowing their child to be put in danger from this really serious issue because they think there's a you know, there's a pot of gold in the rainbow. But do you think football, though, as it's as we know, it will continue or do you think that will actually impact the participation? Football is canceled, sweetie. Impact is a great pun, by the way. Sorry, go ahead. Do you mean because of COVID or because of CTE? Because of CTE. I think that that was a much more aggressive part of the conversation around the sport five or six years ago. I think it's obviously still factors into things, but for whatever reason, it has moved out of the center of the conversation. I think because most people just didn't know about it or understand it. Yeah, I'll candidly before that Will Smith movie and all the reporting that happened in the face of that. The truth is, is that like players are still definitely getting CTE from playing football. Football is incredibly violent, brutal game. And there have been so many injuries this year because there was no preseason and there were fewer practices with contact than ever. So guys are just getting trucked right now and they're tearing their ACLs and it's really dangerous and rough. However, worth it. Sean, in the term of your time covering sports, have you ever been hit full pads by an NFL player like George Plimpton participatory journalism style? Yes, every morning, actually. I enlist C.J. Mosley, who is the Jets player who opted out. He comes over to my house. He annihilates me in my driveway, and then I get to work every day just to get inspired. It's the only way Sean can climax.

Yeah, I get it. We all have something we're into. You know what I mean? Love is love, guys. That's true. I don't disagree with you. The concept of CTE was a little hard to comprehend, so it just kind of fell out of favor as far as the conversation goes about the NFL and all that ills it. Yeah, I just think that other things have... moved into the center of the kind of controversy zone in the sport like every sport has a controversy zone right in the nfl for the last few years it's essentially been much more about colin kaepernick kneeling black lives matter and that has really taken center stage in terms of the conversation around the sport much more so than cte which was the previous crisis and you know will it come back probably because today's superstars are going to have CTE in 10 years and we're going to see them on television and they're not going to seem like they're right. But, you know, they've like upgraded some of the equipment and they've changed some of the rules so that the hits can't be as severe. But it doesn't change the fact that football is football and people like it in part because it's like a brutal ballet. Yeah, that was always so interesting. I can't watch UFC because it's just kind of for dum-dums to me, but the rise of that proves the bloodlust that we have as people to watch that happen to anyone but ourselves. Yeah, I think that's true. I mean, I'm not a UFC person either. MMA doesn't make sense to me personally. Both of you guys are fucking pussies. Okay, fair enough. A lot of people have described this podcast as a brutal ballet, so thank you for using those words. You're welcome. Let us get back to the world of content for a moment. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to distract us, Jason. I apologize. No, no, no. I mean, it's fine. He covers sports as well as content. So it's only fair. But you devote a good portion of your life and your brain towards the consumption of film and television. And I assume you subscribe to all the streaming platforms for the most part. I do, yes.

you know if you were able let's say like hey this guy knows all about this shit and you know venture capitalists said like let's start a new media platform we want we want you to have your own quibi for example what would you do and not do if you if you had kind of carte blanche to do whatever you wanted Well, it sounds like if I want to have my own Quibi, I can go out and cop that right now. I think Quibi is on the market. I chose Quibi as an example because it is a recurring theme on this pod. I'm aware of that. I would say don't do that. Don't do what you're suggesting. I think it's actually too competitive at the moment, and this is not the right time to try to enter the ring and have your own space. The name of the game now is IP. And all of the major players have their IP. And the cultural awareness of the IP is so strong that they are building everything around those concepts. And you guys may have seen Disney made an announcement yesterday about shifting their strategy almost entirely to streaming. And that means that... I did not see that. That seems like a pretty big deal. Yeah, well, they reorganized their entire executive class under Bob Chapek, the CEO. How is Bob? Can't say I know the man. And, you know, it was a fairly, like, whatever, blah, corporate announcement. But I think most people who cover hashtag content understood it to be a pretty radical change to indicate that most of their original content going forward, especially in the next couple of years once they've cleared the decks, is going straight to Disney+. You got to deal with Disney Plus and Netflix and Hulu and Apple TV Plus and blah, blah, blah. They're betting on the fact that theatrical releases won't be coming back anytime in the next three years or something like that? I think it's a two-pronged thing. I think they were going to do this regardless of whether or not COVID-19 ever happened and then threaten the movie theaters. I think that they were going to go in this direction no matter what because this is where the consumption is. It makes sense. It was a pretty big deal. They announced a couple weeks ago.

that their new Pixar movie is going straight to Disney+. That's fucking wild. Pixar movies make $800 million in movie theaters, and they're just putting it on their service for no extra money. Whoa, that is fucking crazy. Everything is different now, and the way that these companies are thinking about it is different. So if you gave me $10 billion to start a streaming service, I probably wouldn't. I'd probably start like a bicycle company. Okay. I mean, I like where your head's at there. I'm a fellow cyclist. Yeah, I'm not. I would probably start a streaming service. You know what I mean? You would. So what is your favorite streaming service? Are you a Netflix daddy or are you an HBO goer? Or are you able to pick one? I think both of those are fine services. There are fine people on both sides of those services. This motherfucker coming in here like Switzerland with streaming services. Yeah, I guess maybe the question I'm trying to ask Laura is like what, you know, if you're able to form a Franken channel, you know, taking the best elements, you know, removing other elements from, you know, like I like this part about Netflix. I would take this part from HBO Go. I would take this one from the Lifetime channel. This is actually a really good question. Thank you for asking me this. Don't do that. Don't do that. No, no, no. This is some earnestness. It's pretty weird and a little bit gross to ascribe personality to repositories for information. That's what streaming services are. They're just spaces where you get and have information taken from you. I don't really think HBO Go is significantly better or HBO you know max is significantly better than netflix in any way i think that they're basically just spaces where sometimes somebody has something i like and sometimes somebody doesn't and the personalities we're still far too far away from figuring out what those personalities are i will say if i was going to recommend something though straight up if you like horror movies you should get shutter shutter is the shit that's like that is the one service that has been micro distilled

to pure interest for people and they're doing their best to serve an audience very directly low stakes modest scale but the service works well they have good taste they put new shit on there too like it's a that's a really good if you like horror movies that's the way to go well hopefully hopefully that that uh that blueprint and model can be uh you know transferred to other genres of content because i'm not a big horror boy but you know it's cool to see that and also it makes you feel more excited to support those streaming services that are like focusing on that hyper niche thing that you love so much if you love horror. I think that's right. Versus giving your money to Netflix or something. How much is Shudder hitting for per month? I think it's $5.99. Oh, that's cheap too. That was a frightfully low price. I think it's $60 a year or something like that. Well done. That's some really good marketing copy. Shudder knows that people subscribing to a horror movie only channel don't have a lot of money. I think they know their audience the way that HBO knows that their audience for premium cable will pay $15 or $20 a month. Honestly, I'm sure that's a part of the calculation is identifying the consumer. Sean, I did want to talk about something a little more superficial involving... Our listeners aren't able to see how good your hair is, but I will be getting back to... that shortly but at the top of the show we were talking about emily in paris this is a television show on netflix have you heard of it i've heard of it yes i have not watched it i'm aware it's controversial can you tell me about it i can tell you all about it sean because i you know uh i held off obviously because i'm busy watching you know reality television on bravo or whatever else and i last night i caught i caught a wild i caught a wild hair And you know what? I fucking watched it. And I blazed through four episodes before bedtime. And it's a fucking instant classic. Instant classic. You heard right. And you can repeat it back to me. That's not going to change how I feel. I felt the tone, Sean. I felt the tone. Don't think the tone was lost on me. Chris, you were saying that you have not seen many films and don't really know anything about films. So having the authority to deem.

a Netflix series, an instant classic feels a little bit specious. Well, well, Sean, here's what, here's what I didn't tell you about myself. When it comes to bad television, mostly geared towards women, I'm an expert. And that is where I feel confident speaking. And I've, I've been, I have a PhD and I've been working on this my whole life. Congratulations to you. I will say that my co-host on the Big Picture podcast, the show that I host, Amanda Dobbins, said she watched Emily in Paris recently and that it was, quote, four 12-year-olds. So congratulations. I agree with that completely. Tell Amanda she can come get the smoke any motherfucking time on this podcast. No, that's the thing about it. Amanda is right. It is, I would say, 16, but I think she's correct. But the problem is, and you... I wonder if you'll agree with me. I think the issue is as a culture, we are trying to intellectualize things that don't need to be intellectualized. So like this show being Darren's, it's just candy. That's what it is. We don't need to talk about how a Hershey bar is made. We just know it tastes good. It's not, it's not interesting enough to dissect and people are just going crazy dissecting it. And I just think that's the problem that we have is that, you know, the recap shows and all that, it's just taking things too far. Can we talk about that a little bit? I'm curious from both of your guys' perspective as somebody who has participated in the content economy around stuff like TV shows. Why do you think that got built up and why do you think people want to consume things this way now? I think because people only want to be around people they agree with. It's fun to create a community around something that is meaningless because at least you have the other people. So it's like... We all like this show. We all love dissecting the show. It's like the reason that Facebook groups are so popular. I think it's maybe the same reason why you love Letterboxd so much. You know, you're finding a community of people based on, you know, something that is very, you know, the same reason why many people find the bonds of friendship over like a mutual love of eating pizza or football, like these, you know, these very entry level.

That's what the majority of people are consuming. And then, you know, you guys, you know, are a little bit cooler and you're discussing Noah Baumbach films on your website. So that will make you feel more superior to other people. Can we talk about the friendships you forged due to the common bonds of eating pizza? I have not. But, you know, that was an example of... of an entry-level personality trait where somebody who has nothing to live for will be like, you like pizza too? Oh, I love pizza. Pizza Hive, baby. It's pizza gang. Let's do pizza. Actually, Jason, I can think of an example from your past. Or communities of millions of people bonding over the television show Friends or something, for example. That level of entry-level content that just is... Sean, were you a part of any internet communities? Jason was a part of something called the Hollerboard, which is a famous community for mouth-breathing DJs to talk about music. It has given us legends such as Them Jeans, Diplo, Steve Aoki, some other EDM names you might recognize. I think that is internet 1.0, but it's the same idea. You know what I mean? The message board is seeing a comeback. I've been on Hollerboard. I was in New York in 2005. I'm sure I've seen your boy them jeans spin. I was not an actor. Sean, I got to say, you're a great guy. Very cool guy. Big fan. Thanks, dude. Thank you, President Trump. That was a solid movement in a history of movements, right? That was cool. No, it was. I didn't have something quite like that. I guess I was a music critic in the 2000s, which is sad. And I was on some music message boards, I guess. I was really into the late 90s, early 2000s hip-hop site and 360 hip-hop and those sites.

the surrounding message boards around that stuff. But, I mean, if I look back at the discourse that was happening there. Are you a Death Jucks daddy? Or an okay player? Was more of a raucous head, really. That was really where. Sound bombing one or two? Be honest. I'm going to go two. There we go. That is the correct answer. That is the correct answer. They lured me in with Eminem and then down the rabbit hole I went. What was your graffiti name when you wrote? Never a tagger. Got no tags to my name. Wow. So you don't respect the elements of hip-hop then? That's interesting. I respect them. I don't participate in all of them. A rare chink in your otherwise perfect armor. Oh, thank you. Yeah, I don't know. I do miss the... The safety and the frivolousness of those kinds of message boards. It's funny you mentioned, Chris, I think you mentioned Facebook groups. Facebook groups to me are, that's what's wrong with this country. That's what's wrong with people. That's what's wrong with society. It's just people on Facebook yelling at each other all the time. Come for me, Sean. Come for me. Did you start the Emily in Paris Facebook group yet? I have submitted my application to be a participant. I did not start it, but I only know about this from a lot of podcasts have big Facebook groups where the fans talk about things, which I feel like it's similar to Reddit or fucking Discord or whatever these nerds are using. It's the same kind of idea. Chris is better than that. i'm better than that but i i do love facebook for the reasons that you're describing it's like sitting in an airport you know what i mean it's just like all humanity all humanity is going to pass you by and to me for a coastal elite like myself sean maybe you can relate sometimes it's nice to get down the mud with these regular folks and see what they're doing That is magnanimous of you, you know, to just extend a hand to the sodded masses and say, join me in this internet discourse. Sometimes I forget that Chris is a Facebook power user. I don't participate necessarily. It's a Chris tag to have on your name. I like to look. It's a disgusting act. There's no other way to describe it. I'm a window shopper, boys. I like to look is his defense.

The same way I stroll down Rodeo and look in the windows, peer into Dior, peer into Gucci, see what Loewe has. That's what I do on Facebook. Like, oh, my aunt has gotten fatter. Oh, like this person from high school has four kids. Oh, this person is a Trump supporter. You know, it's fine. But that doesn't make your life or your brain a better place, Chris. That helps nothing. But it reminds me that that exists in a real way, not in a far off television way. Right. Your content peeping Tom is what you're saying. Exactly. And I will continue to peep because it's not something I do. Unfortunately, my peeping has slowed down because I'm just too active. We're doing three podcasts a week. You know how it is, Sean. It's a grind. This is arduous labor we're doing right here. Much like the career of an NFL player. One can only peep for so many years before the CTE begins trickling in. Well, people are considering also that obviously game day for us is three times a week, but there's practices, there's training, there's nutrition. All of this stuff goes into it. Two days, three days, things like that. Exactly. Talk us through that. What goes into the training for this podcast? Well, it first starts with a cold brew coffee. that's uh that's that's brewed just seconds before the podcast begins and then um you know i make a note of about four different subjects to talk about we cover none of them and we just kind of digress and make fun of each other about how bad we are at playing tennis and then wouldn't you know what an hour has gone by yeah it's not really We don't put in as much, you know, we don't have the production team and the glamorous studios, hair and makeup, you know, the stuff that you guys have over there. Not everyone has the same level of improvisational chops that UCB Black is able to pull off. You can't spell UCB without CB. Damn, wow, really makes you think. And the guy loves improv. I hate improv. I hate comedy.

What we do is we set up a guest and then we talk to him. And that's really what goes into it. Jason does a little more pre-work than yours truly. And you probably understand this as well. I don't know what the division of labor is on your show. But there's kind of talent, which in this case would be me. And then there's the AV guy, which is Jason. Chris is the emailer and I'm the uploader, if we had to put a title on things, which I don't like to do. But yeah, Chris sent the email and me hit the record. My camera, Sean, my camera is front-facing, if you know what I'm saying. So that says all it needs to say, I think. I think with that... Level of attention to detail. It's no surprise what a thriving business you guys have created. It's extraordinary. We just sit back and let the direct deposit hit every month. Exactly. We don't panhandle. We don't use Patreon. We have started a new Twitch show that's live on Thursdays, which is our foray into front-of-camera content distribution. I feel like you've been on camera a lot, right? How do you mean? Like in the peeping Tom sense? Oh, no, sweetie. I mean in a full-on welcome to Hollywood sense. No, a few times. I mean, I've never been... I've never starred in anything. Even in so far as our YouTube channel. Sean, have you ever starred in any television shows? Emily in Paris, which is currently appearing on Netflix, which I'm really excited about. It's absolutely blowing up. You do have Emily in Paris. boyfriend hair capabilities, I will say, because those French guys, they've got beautiful heads. That's a great segue, because I was listening to your pod, and you were talking about the hair of John Mayer, and Chris Black is a known fan of JM, and you were reading a recommendation about a hair care product, a Japanese, what is it called? Teak? I believe it's pronounced teak. I could be wrong about that. It's T-I-Q-U-E.

If we were south of the border. I was just asking because your hair is magnificent. Oh, thank you. I hope to grow my hair back and be on that same level. I'm trying to remember the person whose hair it reminds me of. It's maybe an early 80s country music star that's not coming to mind right now. Maybe a Randy Travis. Oh, sure. Obviously, that's a compliment. But what exactly is Japanese teak, and what does it do to that head of hair? Well, it's a wax. It's a lavender-scented wax. Oh, scented? Yes, and it smells delightful. It's a fairly mundane-looking product. It's a... It's a roll. It's a tube, essentially. But that has like a... You remember those push-up pops that you would get as a kid? Yeah, of course. Push pops like Orange Creamsicle or one of those joints. It looks just like that. This one is green. And it's basically a wax that you push onto your hair to style it. And it's a very sort of simplistic object that changed the way that my head looks every day. It's a total game changer in my life. Damn. Head game. Head game. Crazy. Yeah, your head game is dummy. How often, how many times a week, how many times a week are you waxing down those locks? Is this a daily driver or is this like once a month? It's more of a waxing up than a waxing down. I would say it's once a day. Once a day. Are you washing and are you shampooing and conditioning once a day? Shampooing probably five times a week. Conditioning maybe once or twice a week. And maybe a blowout. You know, a little blow dry. Wow. Are you a dry bar member? And then get it crispy. I'm not, alas. Okay, so you just do the one-off. Well, where did you buy, where did you cop teak? Online or from your local salon?

I went to the Teak Mart, which is just down the corner. No, Amazon.com, which is a website where you can purchase teak. I've heard about that. Where do you get your hair cut? Who's your barber? For years, I went to the establishment known as Rudy's, which is a chain of barbershops here in Los Angeles. There's a lovely woman who cut my hair who liked to speak to me about HBO prestige dramas while she did so. Unfortunately, because of COVID-19, that has been interrupted. Nice young woman has been coming to our home, to our backyard. Love that. Cut our hair, my wife and I, which has been an interesting experience. What are you guys doing? You're just shaving your heads, aren't you? I get my head shaved professionally every two weeks on the dot. Professionally by whom? By a fucking barber down the street. I go in. This shit's open, bro. We're super spreaders. We don't give a fuck. We got to get the fade tight. You know what I mean? And you can't get it tight. I don't know. Sean, you can't get a tight fade with one of those masks, quote-unquote masks on. Exactly. Shame on me. You've got to rip that thing off. I'm tired of having my personal freedoms attacked so I can't get a haircut. Tell me how that ends. Not good. Were you one of the guys who was plotting to kidnap Gretchen Whitmer? No, I wasn't. He's on a short list. I'm on it. I'm in the top 100 of suspects. You're just about liberty. That's the thing. Yeah, it's just Liberty, bro. You get me. Let's talk off mic about this. Let's just say when he goes to visit Michigan, he's not like you going to go check out 8 Mile. He's there for more dastardly reasons. Exactly. That's truly the difference between us. I'm just trying to capture culture, the heart of white rap culture in Michigan. You're up to worse. I'm going for something a little bit bigger than old Slim Shady. Before we go, what neighborhood do you live in? Echo Park. Are you familiar? Yeah, I've been there before. There's a nice Lassen's there. Is that where you get your groceries?

Yeah, I don't want to... Man, this is going to be a spicy take here, but here's the thing. Lassen's owned by a Christian family. They close on Sundays. They are anti-gay marriage. Can't support Lassen's. Just putting that out. I think they used to be anti-gay marriage, and I think they may have ironed out some of those creases. Yeah. Interesting, Sean, that you say that. As just minutes ago, you were capping for Amazon.com, which some would say is not a great place. I'm merely capping for the only place I know to get teak. That's what I'm putting. Okay, that's fair. So you don't give your dollars to the failing Lassen's Market? Where are you going? Cookbook? Just for sustenance? For food items? Well, I mean, it's like, look, your hair looks good. You got a couple podcasts going. I feel like you could afford Cookbook. uh let me just tell you my wife and cookbook have a deeper relationship than my wife and i have like my my wife fucks with cookbook marriage material right there marriage material i see why you did it she is a i mean she's a queen we can set that aside she is she is the queen of cookbook she's in there whenever she can be she'll wait online during quarantine just to get in there and touch some avocados it's wild sounds like she's a power user she truly is she truly is she's like the the relationship i have to japanese teak she has to cookbook there's a there's a pretty good chance that that your your wife and i have experienced a meet cute in the aisles of cookbook you know of course we kept it all she's no she's forbidden from speaking to strange men in that store But you may have made an effort to do so. Sean said Sean's got her on a Mike Pence vibe. You know what I mean? No, no. Only when she's in grocery stores. I hate a meat cute. I'm trying to avoid that. Two eyes meat over a set of melons or something. I don't want that to happen. Whoa, whoa. Who said anything about big melons? Who said anything about big melons? Come on, Sean. Settle down. Everybody settle down. The persimmons are almost in season. You know that.

Before we go, Sean, I need to know about your preferred, your number one Eastside coffee shop in Los Angeles. Because there's a right and a wrong answer here, King. And we're going to need you to land on the right side of history. I'm pro Woodcat. Woodcat? I'm a Woodcat guy. What's the problem? Woodcat's a little too 90s Friends latte for me. Even though the bean itself is pretty good, the vibe is torched. I'm about the coffee. I don't like to hang. I'm not a hang-in-the-shop guy. I just love the good coffee. I'm not either. I'm not either. The only place I'm hanging is the locker room at Barry's. You can do a lot worse than Woodcat, Chris. That's true. I've actually, interestingly, been to Woodcat many times, and I do appreciate the being there. Do you guys have, like, a power rankings? Where should I be going? Maru's number one. Okay. Yeah, that's good. What's number two, Jason? Proof? No. Proof, if we're talking about food only, then yes, proof. Their pastry program is second to none. But their coffee program and unfortunately their employees are no bueno. I don't know. Maybe is Go Get Em Tiger number two for coffee quality? I have to say probably. I hate the name. Go Get Em is really bad. And it feels... stupid, but I do love the product. It feels stupid. How do I say it? Stupid. What name of a coffee shop isn't bad? That's true. The moral of the story is we just needed to confirm that you're not Blue Bottle Sipper. I would never. Thank you. A bridge too far. All right, Sean, it's been a pleasure chatting with you today. Another elite podcaster. You taught us a lot of stuff about sports and movies that we didn't know, which is rare for this podcast. So tell them where they can find you online, where they can listen to your beautiful voice over the airwaves.

Yeah, you can find me on Netflix. I'm on a series called Emily in Paris, which I'm really excited about. Now, the name of my podcast is The Big Picture. You can find it on Spotify, Apple, wherever you get your podcasts. It's about movies. I'm on the Rewatchable sometimes, also a movie podcast on the Ringer Podcast Network. I'm also just out here on Letterboxd. Catch me on Letterboxd, just being a king. Well, let them know over there at the Ringer if they need a funny podcast. We are currently free agents. We are available, and we will put all the employees on our show for free. You said a funny podcast, right? Okay, Sean, that's it. We've had enough. If The Ringer is looking for a rare male perspective, we might be able to offer it for them. So good to hear from you guys. Thanks for having me on today. It's been a pleasure, Sean. We'll talk to you soon, buddy. Thank you. Later, fellas. Later.